Friday Jokes

[Stoneboat]

I was once standing on a street corner waiting for the bus and decided to do some pelvic thrust exercises to ease some pain my lower spine. A cop came up and asked what was I doing.

“F**kin’ nothing!”

A border patrol agent, a physical fitness nut, was out border patrollin' one day down near Las Cruces, when he suddenly remembered he hadn't done his daily exercise program. He hopped off his horse and began his routine - knee bends, squats, the works - and was finishing with a series of push ups, when he felt someone looking at him. He glanced up and there was a little old campesino astride his burro, looking down at him.
"What the hell are you looking at ?" he asked
The farmer shrugged his shoulders and replied "But Senor, the Senorita she is gone!"

[Slasher]

[FD2]

Quiff is the teddy boy curl above the forehead Slash. Is it quim you are dreaming of?

[Slasher]

No FD. Maybe it’s outdated but a quiff was a promiscuous woman as I understood it. Used only in England.

Thanks for the update.

BTW I think you posted here in the wrong thread but never mind.

[FD2]

Oops bloody mobiles

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

A fact concerning Christmas

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

Too soon?

[ribrash]

No FD. Maybe it’s outdated but a quiff was a promiscuous woman as I understood it. Used only in England.

Thanks for the update.

BTW I think you posted here in the wrong thread but never mind.

Maybe I've had a sheltered upbringing Slash here in England but I've never heard the term quiff used to describe a promiscuous woman as a quiff. I've only heard the term quim described as being part of a woman.

[Wodrick]

+1 here

[ian16th]

+2 from here.

[Boac]

Nor I, but Slasher had...........and it has made its way into https://www.dictionary.com/browse/quiff for what it is worth, but not into Ben's copy of the OED.

Can we return to 'Jokes'?

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

[Slasher]

[tango15]

A guy, having fallen out with his girlfriend, takes a holiday in the Canary Islands. It's rather cloudy as he lies on his lounger, but suddenly the clouds open and the booming voice of God is heard.
"Hey, you down there, this is God speaking. I am able to grant you one wish - what will it be?"
The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Well I'm scared of flying, so it would be great if you could build a bridge from England to the Canaries."
God replies, "No. Think of the material that would be required, the equipment, the damage to the environment. I cannot allow that. Think of something else and I'll come back tomorrow."
Sure enough at the same time the next day, the voice booms out again. "Do you have another request?" asks the voice.
"Yes, I'd like to be able to understand women," says the guy.
There is silence and then a distant rumble of thunder, then the voice of God again. "About this road - do you want one lane or two?"

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I recognise that middle photo Slash, taken in the Bigg Market in Newcastle on a Saturday night, I believe. Entirely representative. Must be early as neither of them is in the gutter.

[Rwy in Sight]

Regarding the pic with the young ladies, the spectacle of the young ladies walking incorrectly dressed for the North East UK winter was great.

[OFSO]

But unlikely. The girls of Newcastle wear far less.

[ricardian]

Times are REALLY hard!