Friday Jokes

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Archer
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7581 Post by Archer » Mon Aug 30, 2021 11:27 am

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Mon Aug 30, 2021 7:59 am
Anyway as I joke thread I think we have strayed too far.
Not at all... this was just the lead-in to:
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7582 Post by Woody » Tue Aug 31, 2021 11:59 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7583 Post by ricardian » Tue Aug 31, 2021 5:24 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7584 Post by ricardian » Tue Aug 31, 2021 7:51 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7585 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Aug 31, 2021 8:18 pm

Well that passed me by

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7586 Post by k3k3 » Tue Aug 31, 2021 9:18 pm

Me too.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7587 Post by jimtherev » Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:04 pm

might it be a response: fat Fred's owners being used to answering the same questions dayafterdayafterdayafter...
reminding me of an overheard exchange outside the greengrocer's t'other day.
Gusty wind. Shop's A-frame blackboard turned over by said wind. Very loud crash. Mother and child waiting for a bus both jump.
4-y-old child "Muuuuuuum"
Mother (Used to all those 'why' questions?)
"It's-a-blackboard-put-up-by-the-greengrocer-man-with-the-price-of-potatoes-and-carrots-and-apples-and-mushrooms-chalked-on-it-and-the-wind's-blowing-hard-and-it-blew-it-over-and-when-it-blew-over-it-made-a-very-loud-bang-and-made-you-jump AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7588 Post by Opsboi » Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:59 pm

Fat Fred is a cat in, I suspect, a cat-petting cafe in Spain (I went to one in Valencia a couple of years back)

The post-it note refers to the fattest cat

I suspect the sign is in English because only tourists would constantly ask such inane Qs

The Spaniards couldn't care less

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7589 Post by G-CPTN » Tue Aug 31, 2021 11:08 pm


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Re: Friday Jokes

#7590 Post by FD2 » Wed Sep 01, 2021 5:32 am

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.'

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Credentials and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer...'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.' A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

A blonde woman timidly spoke up........... 'I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7591 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Sep 01, 2021 7:13 am

jimtherev wrote:
Tue Aug 31, 2021 10:04 pm
might it be a response: fat Fred's owners being used to answering the same questions dayafterdayafterdayafter...
reminding me of an overheard exchange outside the greengrocer's t'other day.
Gusty wind. Shop's A-frame blackboard turned over by said wind. Very loud crash. Mother and child waiting for a bus both jump.
4-y-old child "Muuuuuuum"
Mother (Used to all those 'why' questions?)
"It's-a-blackboard-put-up-by-the-greengrocer-man-with-the-price-of-potatoes-and-carrots-and-apples-and-mushrooms-chalked-on-it-and-the-wind's-blowing-hard-and-it-blew-it-over-and-when-it-blew-over-it-made-a-very-loud-bang-and-made-you-jump AND THAT'S ALL I KNOW!
+1, now that is funny

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7592 Post by Ex-Ascot » Fri Sep 03, 2021 5:02 am

Makes sense.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7593 Post by Pontius Navigator » Fri Sep 03, 2021 8:29 am

Of Matt Hancock and his fund raising for the marathon

"You spoon-faced hat stand"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7594 Post by Undried Plum » Fri Sep 03, 2021 2:32 pm

Image

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7595 Post by fareastdriver » Fri Sep 03, 2021 3:15 pm

When I was at El Adem in the sixties it was normal for men to walk behind their wives beside the road. Eldest son in one hand, donkey in the other.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7596 Post by ricardian » Sat Sep 04, 2021 8:24 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7597 Post by ricardian » Sat Sep 04, 2021 8:28 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7598 Post by PHXPhlyer » Sat Sep 04, 2021 8:33 pm

ricardian wrote:
Sat Sep 04, 2021 8:24 pm
Awkward situation
Or the milkman. :-?
Or the mailman. :-?
Or
Or
Or
:)) =)) :ymdevil:

PP

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7599 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 05, 2021 9:16 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7600 Post by FD2 » Sun Sep 05, 2021 10:04 pm

Refugees.JPG

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