Friday Jokes

[EA01]

... oh dear...

[FD2]

An old one:

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more.

For the second time she attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

[tango15]

Well I hadn't heard that one before!

[ricardian]

When you find stuff that's gash on your inventory

[Boac]

https://www.airlive.net/a-passenger-fro ... is-rectum/

Gives a whole new meaning to '**** bricks'.

[k3k3]

The Man With The Golden Bum!

[4mastacker]

At least you wouldn't mind finding one of those nuggets on the sole of your shoe.

Local police stopped an 89-year-old man driving his car on the wrong side of the road at 2.00 am in the morning.

They asked him where he was going at that time in a morning. He replied that he was on his way to a lecture about the dangers of alcohol abuse, careless driving, deviating from his planned route and poor timekeeping.

The policeman asked him who was going to deliver such a lecture at that time in a morning.

"My wife" replied the old man.

[1DC]

Crikey if they are catching that many gold smugglers I wonder how many are actually getting away with it.

[ricardian]

Latest - really intelligent aircraft

[ricardian]

Be warned!

[ricardian]

More on pets

[FD2]

New role for Sentry:

Shhh!.jpg (45.47 KiB) Viewed 397 times

[Pontius Navigator]

Do we know when that happened? Was it Larisa?

[Boac]

Preveza https://aviation-safety.net/database/re ... 19960714-0

[Rwy in Sight]

I did remember hearing about the accident but never saw how bad it was.

[emjay]

Always get a bit nervous when they point something at my head...

[Ex-Ascot]

Says NATO but who was flying it and didn't understand the meaning of V1. Idiot.

[k3k3]

Says NATO but who was flying it and didn't understand the meaning of V1. Idiot.

Capt (or AC in NATO speak) was a Belgian, word was he had previously ejected from an F-104 after a bird strike.

Afterwards there were dozens of small birds dead on the runway but the only traces of blood and guts on the aircraft were on the fuselage, the engines were undamaged.

The only physical injury was to the F.E. who twisted his back.



The Boeing rep reckoned they could nail it together again well enough to fly it to depot...

[Boac]

Looks like the aircraft 'twisted its back' too. Good of the F/E to 'come out' in support.

[ricardian]

Things that are useful to know #96