Friday Jokes

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ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#6401 Post by ricardian » Thu Jan 14, 2021 5:45 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6402 Post by ricardian » Fri Jan 15, 2021 1:37 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6403 Post by ricardian » Fri Jan 15, 2021 3:31 pm

You don't actually wash your hands, you just stand there and watch them wash each other
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Re: Friday Jokes

#6404 Post by ricardian » Fri Jan 15, 2021 4:21 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6405 Post by ricardian » Sat Jan 16, 2021 2:12 pm

Told the wife I was bored so she suggested I make a bird table. Now she's in a mood 'cause she's in 8th place, 3 behind her sister, and 5 places behind her best mate. Honstly, women, never bloody happy
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Re: Friday Jokes

#6406 Post by Magnus » Sat Jan 16, 2021 2:27 pm

Last one's missing, ricardian.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6407 Post by OFSO » Sat Jan 16, 2021 3:10 pm

True story. Names and identities protected. A friend, known not only for his charm but as an occasional prankster, and living up in the far north of Westeros, so to speak, last week gave his wife a beautiful jigsaw puzzle. But firstly he opened the box and removed two pieces which he taped, in an envelope, to the underside of the table. The wife, who despite being petite and very attractive in both face and figure, has fists of steel which are not unknown for being used, happily set about the puzzle.

At two am this morning he awoke to find her absent from the marital bed. Gathering robes against the snow, he went out to discover her by the rubbish bins, searching for the missing pieces in the snowey darkness.

Sadly, I am unaware of what followed. I believe apology and repatriation credits have been registered and may take some time to be written off.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6408 Post by Mole » Sat Jan 16, 2021 5:57 pm

IMG-20210116-WA0003.jpg

ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#6409 Post by ricardian » Sat Jan 16, 2021 7:19 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6410 Post by llondel » Sun Jan 17, 2021 7:27 pm

I can cut a log in half just by looking at it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I know it's hard to believe but I saw it with my own two eyes.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6411 Post by Ex-Ascot » Mon Jan 18, 2021 8:22 am

'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6412 Post by ricardian » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:07 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6413 Post by ricardian » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:10 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6414 Post by EA01 » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:40 am

I'm sorry....don't get that one... :/

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6415 Post by G-CPTN » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:47 am

EA01 wrote:
Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:40 am
I'm sorry....don't get that one... :/
+1

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6416 Post by Ex-Ascot » Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:57 am

G-CPTN wrote:
Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:47 am
EA01 wrote:
Mon Jan 18, 2021 11:40 am
I'm sorry....don't get that one... :/
+1
+2
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6417 Post by EA01 » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:21 pm

Thank heavens its not just me then... :)

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6418 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:23 pm

I got it

For a change

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6419 Post by G-CPTN » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:26 pm

Expliquez ça s'il vous plait.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#6420 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Jan 18, 2021 12:30 pm

I refer you to John Prescott's tirade about inappropriate adverts

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