Friday Jokes

[unifoxos]

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

AKA suffering from Premature Kojakulation

[barkingmad]

Covid-19

GOSH ! ! A Fairey Battle! A not very successful bomber, with 3 crew, which IIRC could just about haul a couple of 500 -pounders some distance to upset the enemy.

I was part of the expedition to the interior of Iceland during the ‘Cod War’ in 1972 to recover the wreckage of one which is now lovingly restored to static display standard at the RAF museum at Hendon.

Thanks for the memory, Ric!

[Pontius Navigator]

BM, massive deviation but we were in the Mess watching one of the war in the air films in TV. One shot was a Fairy Battle being bombed up in France. The procedure was for a 100lb bomb to be balanced on their armourer's back and then pressed up to the carrier. A voice rang out "my God, that's me".

It was our armament officer, Fitzmaurice; I was dating one of his daughter's at the time.

[barkingmad]

P N, great memory!

I’m all for the occasional bit of variation or deviation, I remember it from the aircraft instruments grind skule!

[Capetonian]

[FD2]

Coming soon to a pub near you:

[FD2]

A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.

A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, has watched the whole event.

Laura, addressing the Harley rider says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”

The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.”

Miss Kuenssberg replied, "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a BBC journalist, you know, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”, the journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.

BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH.

[FD2]

An old one:

Naval Aviator Eye Exam

The School of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania conducted a survey called, "What really do you see?"



Study the pic for 5 seconds

The-eye-test.gif (185.03 KiB) Viewed 640 times

Notice anything?





Results of the survey:





100% of Male Naval Aviators failed this test. They were distracted by the woman's large breasts.



100% of the Female Naval Aviators also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.





What they all missed – there is a mouse on one of the doughnuts.

[Capetonian]

There were doughnuts?

Hotel Reception

[ricardian]

Clever advertising

[ricardian]

The downside!

[PHXPhlyer]

Not a joke.
Huge uptick in wine and caffeine consumption here.
Coffee, iced tea then wine.
Like the t-shirt I saw in an airport (worn by a nice looking lady)...Caffeine til Cocktails

PP

[ricardian]

Sign of the times

[FD2]

Could they put this on these days? Don't think so!!

Albert Steptoe speaks his mind:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1i6I-fz ... Nkrxo/view

[Stoneboat]

Or how about this Frank Zappa classic, any chance of getting airplay?

[Capetonian]

Excellent, I'd ever never seen that Frog-bashing episode of Steptoe and Son before.

[ricardian]

Last resort

[ricardian]

That perpetual question

[Capetonian]

Capture.JPG (49.21 KiB) Viewed 332 times

One for Fathers' Day.

[ricardian]

The reason why...