Friday Jokes
- OFSO
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Re: Friday Jokes
Most clever...... Who bilked Acker ?
Re: Friday Jokes
Was Mr. Foxx Redd?
PP
PP
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- tango15
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Re: Friday Jokes
I remember her when she used to issue the tickets at the entrance to the Cavern. One didn't venture as far as Scottie Road - my dad said they played tick with hatchets there!
And while we're on the subject:
Liverpool have won the league and the government are paying people not to work.
Somewhere out there is a Scouser with a magic lamp and genie wondering what his last wish will be.
Re: Friday Jokes
+1tango15 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 02, 2020 5:46 pmI remember her when she used to issue the tickets at the entrance to the Cavern. One didn't venture as far as Scottie Road - my dad said they played tick with hatchets there!
And while we're on the subject:
Liverpool have won the league and the government are paying people not to work.
Somewhere out there is a Scouser with a magic lamp and genie wondering what his last wish will be.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:
"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me and expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:
"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me and expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
"Could anyone who is here for yodelling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly queue."
There's rosemary, that's for remembrance. ...
Re: Friday Jokes
To post #5378 I will add:
Was Martin Luther King?
Did anyone hear Donald Trump?
Open House.
Was Martin Luther King?
Did anyone hear Donald Trump?
Open House.
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- Chief Pilot
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- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 5:47 am
- Location: The South Island, New Zealand
Re: Friday Jokes
There are two rules for success...
1. Never reveal everything you know.
1. Never reveal everything you know.
There's rosemary, that's for remembrance. ...
- barkingmad
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Re: Friday Jokes
I was told you had already passed the oral exam?
Re: Friday Jokes
Ah! That was on the tip of my tongue.
Re: Friday Jokes
Hydro!, beat me again!
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- Chief Pilot
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER