Friday Jokes
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Reminds me of a bloke who bought a rat-infested building and started a business making rat-***** screwdrivers.
The original story is a long-drawn-out shaggy-dog tale involving tedious attempts to find a use for the mountains of droppings before finally settling on the solution.
The original story is a long-drawn-out shaggy-dog tale involving tedious attempts to find a use for the mountains of droppings before finally settling on the solution.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18601
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
An Englishmsn, a Scotsman and an Irishman are attending a course on surviving in the desert, and the instructor suggests they have found an old car and asks how they would use it.
The Englishman says he'd remove the coil and battery and try to build a primitive transmitter to summon help.
The Scotsman says he'd take off the windscreen washer bottle and drink the water.
The Irishman says he'd take the door. The instructor asks why? The Irishman replies "Well, if it gets too hot, I can wind the window down for some fresh air! "
The Englishman says he'd remove the coil and battery and try to build a primitive transmitter to summon help.
The Scotsman says he'd take off the windscreen washer bottle and drink the water.
The Irishman says he'd take the door. The instructor asks why? The Irishman replies "Well, if it gets too hot, I can wind the window down for some fresh air! "
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 4746
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 5:47 am
- Location: The South Island, New Zealand
Re: Friday Jokes
Which looks better on the résumé ?
"Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents"
or,
"I changed a light-bulb"
"Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents"
or,
"I changed a light-bulb"
And with the morn, those angel faces smile...
- Opsboi
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 2719
- Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 pm
- Location: Watching LHR D-09 E
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
I can't help but feel you've underemphasised the crisis management aspect of this potentially hazardous situation
"Single-handedly analysed and diagnosed the cause of a potentially fatal compromised visibility situation; identified the optimum solution and managed the successful relaunch, upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents"
I'd definitely consider placing you on a shortlist of candidates to manage future unforeseen emergency scenarios, although your emphasis on 'Single-handedly' makes me rather uncomfortable vis a vis your future performance in a team-playing environment. However, I tick the box of being 'a gut-follower', so on this occasion I may just be tempted to leave my comfort zone, stick my head above the parapet and say 'Call me a tall poppy, but I might just take a punt on this guy'
It'd be good if you could change a light bulb, mind
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
They use the clown car from the circus.
That's how they can fit in.
PP
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, that's a different story.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, that's a different story.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18601
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
"In war as in prostitution, the enthusiastic amateur is frequently more successful than the professional."
Napoleon Bonaparte.
Napoleon Bonaparte.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
A midwife is walking past the hospital staffroom, when she hears two Indian doctors talking.
"I'm telling you it's wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first.
"No. It's woombaa: W-O-O-M-B-A-A," says the second.
"No, no, no. Wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first again.
At this the nurse pops her head through the door, "I think you'll find, gentlemen, it's WOMB: W-O-M-B."
The two doctors look blankly at her, until one of them says, "Madam. I doubt if you've ever even SEEN a water buffalo, let alone heard one break wind in a mudpool,".
"I'm telling you it's wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first.
"No. It's woombaa: W-O-O-M-B-A-A," says the second.
"No, no, no. Wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first again.
At this the nurse pops her head through the door, "I think you'll find, gentlemen, it's WOMB: W-O-M-B."
The two doctors look blankly at her, until one of them says, "Madam. I doubt if you've ever even SEEN a water buffalo, let alone heard one break wind in a mudpool,".
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
In my time it was an elephant pharting.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 3484
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 12:42 pm
- Location: Edinburgh
- Gender:
- Age: 71
Re: Friday Jokes
2 African doctors farting in a mud pool? Any documentary evidence for this?