Friday Jokes
Re: Friday Jokes
When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.
All the slides were just pictures of me.
All the slides were just pictures of me.
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ian, if fitted to a Trabant, for which they were designed, they would have lasted for the life of the car.ian16th wrote: ↑Tue Apr 06, 2021 11:56 amI bought some DDR 'agricultural quality' tyres in Gloucester market like that.
I had a new car on order, held up because of strike action! The car I was trading in and had a price agreed for, had tyres so bad, I simply was forced into buying 2.
So I went for the cheapest possible, and found these DDR things.
By the time my strike delayed new car was delivered, the DDR tyres were close to the legal limit!
Less than 2 weeks they lasted.
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- ian16th
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Re: Friday Jokes
But my car was a Sunbeam Imp Sport, that I drove shall we say? 'Enthusiastically'.Pontius Navigator wrote: ↑Tue Apr 06, 2021 12:28 pmIan, if fitted to a Trabant, for which they were designed, they would have lasted for the life of the car.ian16th wrote: ↑Tue Apr 06, 2021 11:56 amI bought some DDR 'agricultural quality' tyres in Gloucester market like that.
I had a new car on order, held up because of strike action! The car I was trading in and had a price agreed for, had tyres so bad, I simply was forced into buying 2.
So I went for the cheapest possible, and found these DDR things.
By the time my strike delayed new car was delivered, the DDR tyres were close to the legal limit!
Less than 2 weeks they lasted.
Cynicism improves with age
Re: Friday Jokes
I once had a "challenged" and challenging student who had trouble with left and right.
I told him to make a left turn and he released the controls and held his hands up, palms out. He noted that the thumb and index finger of the left hand formed an "L". So that was left.
I held up my hands, palms in, and noted that the thumb and index finger formed an "L".
He could remember to hold his hands palms out but couldn't remember left from right.
This was about the time that I informed the powers that be that I would never endorse him for solo flight.
Fittingly, he threw up on me the day that I gave my notice.
Because he was from a minority, he could not be dropped from the program. They were able to get rid of him after he assaulted his next instructor.
PP
I told him to make a left turn and he released the controls and held his hands up, palms out. He noted that the thumb and index finger of the left hand formed an "L". So that was left.
I held up my hands, palms in, and noted that the thumb and index finger formed an "L".
He could remember to hold his hands palms out but couldn't remember left from right.
This was about the time that I informed the powers that be that I would never endorse him for solo flight.
Fittingly, he threw up on me the day that I gave my notice.
Because he was from a minority, he could not be dropped from the program. They were able to get rid of him after he assaulted his next instructor.
PP
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Re: Friday Jokes
Cheers, llondel - first joke since Easter Sunday!
With two honourable exceptions; urinal, bishop & actress
Now there's a Frankie Howerd sketch...
With two honourable exceptions; urinal, bishop & actress
Now there's a Frankie Howerd sketch...
Re: Friday Jokes
I'm sure someone ticked something off a bucket list with this headline.
- ExSp33db1rd
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Re: Friday Jokes
How were you supposed to read them sole down on the ground, and unlike gloves, didn't the slightly different shape for each foot give you a clue ? ( thinks - the present Crocs could give you a problem, correct footwise ).....had the words RIGHT and LEFT moulded into the sole.
A women in the sailing club wore deck shoes of different colours, bright red for the left foot and bright green for the right, and in view of the slightly different shape for each foot there was little chance of getting them on the wrong foot. Clever.
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Re: Friday Jokes
So, after a struggle teacher got little Jimmy's boots on.
Miss, there're on the wrong feet.
She pulled them off and put them on again.
Miss, there're ma brother's boots.
She pulled them off and said where's your boots.
Miss, ma mum makes me wear them.
She struggled and put the boots on again. Jimmy where's your gloves?
In ma boots Miss.
Her case comes up next Tuesday.
Miss, there're on the wrong feet.
She pulled them off and put them on again.
Miss, there're ma brother's boots.
She pulled them off and said where's your boots.
Miss, ma mum makes me wear them.
She struggled and put the boots on again. Jimmy where's your gloves?
In ma boots Miss.
Her case comes up next Tuesday.
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Wodrick
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Re: Friday Jokes
Made me smile
https://www.wunderground.com/dashboard/pws/ITORRO10?cm_ven=localwx_pwsdash
Re: Friday Jokes
Yes - I was wokely offended.
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
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Re: Friday Jokes
Got it at last!
Re: Friday Jokes
Is it OK for clots?
- OFSO
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Re: Friday Jokes
But things are looking black..
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER