Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Potential NOT realised!

[llondel]

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. Remove it and you get gravy.

[bob2s]

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the freeway. So I eased my rig over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my trailer facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nudity to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a cop car pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My rig has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him......
"Those are my emergency flashers!”

[Hydromet]

Oh dear, Bob, school holidays always bring the dad jokes out.

[ricardian]

[Slasher]

[Slasher]

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[ricardian]

[Sisemen]

Reminds me of the instructions on one of those ‘carve yourself’ duck heads to be affixed to the top of a walking stick ....”Remove all the bits that don’t look like a duck”.

[ricardian]

[ExSp33db1rd]

Brilliant ! How many times I've wished. maybe I'll print it out and keep a few copies handy for use at the Supermarket ?

Reminds me of the instructions on one of those ‘carve yourself’ duck heads to be affixed to the top of a walking stick .

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck .......... ?

[ricardian]

How likely?

[Slasher]

These two from Apsara today:

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I retorted with:

EC5681AD-23B1-486E-8E4A-BCB6A6DEFC9D.jpeg (7.69 KiB) Viewed 484 times

She came back with:

[Slasher]

On the same theme:

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

Oneupmanship!

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[OFSO]

Not a joke but true. My young friend Artie (8) was laughing at a classic painting showing, among other things, the man's penis.
I said "Don't laugh, we all have them - but what do you call a man without a willy, Artie ?" He thought about it for a bit and said "a girl !"
I then asked "and what do you call a girl WITH a willy ?" and he immediately answered "a lesbian!'
Eight years old. His mother just sighed.

[ricardian]

Bad news for dyslexics - on 27 October your cock goes black