Friday Jokes

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Sisemen

Re: Friday Jokes

#3321 Post by Sisemen » Tue Sep 03, 2019 7:25 am

So far only one bite :D And the other 50 odd reactions so far just rounded on him. Funny, I was expecting a much more outraged reaction.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3322 Post by Slasher » Tue Sep 03, 2019 7:46 am

The sandgroper Yays of Tood obviously have a sense of humour Sise. The dissenter is probably an invader from Sydney or Melbourne. Turf it's arse out back where it came from. [-(

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3323 Post by Fliegenmong » Tue Sep 03, 2019 8:59 am

Hmmmm...I get that Yays of Tood....Toodyay no?...I've had a poke around Perth...nice enough place....damn long way from anywhere though...
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3324 Post by ricardian » Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:30 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3325 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:42 am

Mrs PN, when a very petite student midwife was in a bookshop in Leeds when these two DOM sitting on stools, one smoking a cigar, were letching. She didn't know who he was but later recognized him.

No 2 daughter once wrote to Jim'll Fix it. Luckier he never replied.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3326 Post by CharlieOneSix » Tue Sep 03, 2019 11:15 am

Vile man. This is him arriving to open Culdrose Air Day in 1967 - he couldn't wait to get his trousers off even then.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3327 Post by ricardian » Tue Sep 03, 2019 6:01 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3328 Post by llondel » Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:33 am

Just had a really **** flight from Southern California. Yes, ex-LAX.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3329 Post by Slasher » Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:46 am

18cc9cea-5e33-48a1-9069-0b609eae7c53.jpg
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3330 Post by llondel » Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:38 pm

Is a carbuncle the evil brother of a sugar daddy?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3331 Post by CharlieOneSix » Thu Sep 05, 2019 1:33 pm

It's Harvest Sunday at a small village church in rural England, and the vicar is organising his annual Harvest Festival where, traditionally, people bring their home grown vegetables and fruit to the service. But this year is different.

The village cricket team has just won their league, and the village is in a celebratory mood, so the vicar decides to do something special. He decides that the service will have a cricket theme. The day arrives, and the church is filled with flowers. People are bringing their offerings, and in the middle of the display is a cricket wicket, a strip of turf with a set of wooden stumps at each end, and people are laying their goodies on the wicket.

Everything is going well, until one lady places a packet of frozen peas among the other vegetables. She is stopped by the vicar and after a brief discussion turns and returns to her seat still clutching the peas. "What happened?" asks the lady sitting next to her. She shrugs her shoulders and says; "There's no peas for the wicket."
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3332 Post by Sisemen » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:20 am

I went to the petrol station to get some some milk and as I walked into the shop, I noticed these 2 policemen that were watching a woman smoking while putting in her petrol.. I saw her and thought, is this lady stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the cops standing RIGHT there.. Anyway, I minded my own business and went in to get what I needed to get.... As I was paying I heard someone screaming!! Omg !!!, I’m talking violent death screams!! I looked up and saw the woman's arm was on fire!! She was swinging her arm, running around going nuts!! I ran out the door, the cops had the woman on the ground putting the fire out!! Then they put handcuffs on her and threw her in the police car.. I was thinking, arrested?? Shouldn’t she be in an ambulance, not a police car?? Being the nosey person I am, I asked the cops what they were arresting her for.. The guy looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM IN PUBLIC!"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3333 Post by ricardian » Fri Sep 06, 2019 7:44 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3334 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Fri Sep 06, 2019 11:22 am

CaptureDR.JPG
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Drunk raccoon - been on the cider all night and sleeping it off on the front lawn.

(Stittsville, ON - and likely round my place soon, given the pile of apples I've got slowing fermenting by the compost heap)

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3335 Post by Slasher » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:45 am

Apologies if it's been shown before but I just love this!





Watch right to the end where the poofter walks off. :))

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3336 Post by Pontius Navigator » Sat Sep 07, 2019 7:52 am

That interviewer is brilliant. Can we get him to UK as a political interviewer. He would outdo Paxo in sticking it to them. Doesn't talk over the subject, doesn't try and put words, or anything, in the subjects mouth. Keeps on until the subject runs out.

Though we have had a few moments like that: John Major, Gordon Brown and Prince Charles spring to mind :)

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3337 Post by Ex-Ascot » Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:40 pm

Wot a woofter. Excellent.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3338 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 08, 2019 1:26 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3339 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:51 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3340 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:51 pm

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