Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Only in Africa

[Boac]

Don't be so hard on her - she was IN FRONT of the sign................

[Pontius Navigator]

Not only that, it was announcing no market stalls, so what's wrong with providing one. Clearly a need.

[OFSO]

Not only in Africa. I got the Council to errect a sign by my lower gate indicating no garden refuse to be dumped there. The sign has come in handy for propping up garden refuse, dumped by locals.

[ricardian]

Can't wait to see it being used for the first time

[ricardian]

Milk versus Wine

[Woody]

[ExSp33db1rd]

Not only in Africa. I got the Council to errect a sign by my lower gate indicating no garden refuse to be dumped there. The sign has come in handy for propping up garden refuse, dumped by locals.

Same problem here, end of our road is not a Refuse Dump but a Scheduled Collection Point, ie. rubbish not to be left before Weds. for Thurs. collection, but it gets dumped from Friday on. I often put a note on the official council sign, saying " Read the Fxxxng notice" which gets torn off. The Council threaten $4000 fine for dumping, but never do anything about it. Not a joke. ( in both senses of the word ! )

[Alisoncc]

Sorry Woody, but I once did something very similar. Half the sqdn line engs were on some stupid parade detail when we got a Micky Finn (exercise) call. I had to change a Red Steer (rear looking radar) on a Vulcan B2, and there was only me available. The tail of the aircraft was a good 20 foot off the ground. Had an equipment cradle on the platform of a scissor lift which I chocked on a low platform, which I slowly jacked up. Sh1t on reflection I could have written off the aircraft if it went wrong. Luckily it didn't.

[Pontius Navigator]

Alison, chocked being a key word. Copilot, to inspect the engine intake decided to use the Safety Raiser.

Properly speaking it should have been wheeled to the spot, chocked on 4 wheels, a set of railings erected, a hatch in the deck lifted, pumped to height and and hatch closed to remove the trip hazard.

Our hero, to save time, neglected all these and simply punch the safety raiser to the intake, of perhaps Unsafety Razor as the open hatch sliced cleanly through the intake.

Nothing a bit of bodge tape couldn't fix. Yes, the aircraft was flown with the bodge tape in place.

PS, we were on the other aircraft.

[ian16th]

If my memory is correct, the Safety Raiser's we had at Marham on Valiant's had inbuilt jacks that one pushed down with a cold/wet boot.

Don't remember any chocks.

Like Alison with the Red Steer on Vulcans, the main use of them for me was to get to the Orange Putter. Could do a pre-flight check of the air pressure from 6" flat top steps but needed the Raiser to change the TxRx.

[Pontius Navigator]

Ian, correct, I had meant the built-in chock system. Habit also had one pressing just one chock as we were usually in a hurry. The quicker we could do the turn round the quicker we could get off to the bar.

On multiple transit legs where the radar was not essential I might skip the H2S scanner air.

[Woody]

[Opsboi]

Man in pub: "I've bought a new hearing aid. State of the art, cost nearly two thousand quid"
Other man in pub: "What make?"
Man in pub: "Quarter to nine"

[Undried Plum]

[ricardian]

Honesty is the best policy

[ricardian]

Oh yes, VERY true!

[k3k3]

Oh yes, VERY true!

I opened and closed that very quickly!

[llondel]

Just in: Ted Cruz caught crossing the Mexican border in the hope of finding a better life for him and his family.

[OFSO]

My Welsh friend was on a bus two years ago. Seated ahead were two matrons discussion the wedding of the daughter of one of them. She was going on about the number of guests, Bishop oficiating, flowers ordered, expensive reception, cost of dress etc. When she paused for breath, the other asked (think strong Welsh accent): "and when's the baby coming, then? " The other matron replied: "Baby? There ain't no baby! " to which the first lady said "0h, posh! "