Friday Jokes

[Stoneboat]

New Yorker: "So where you from pal?"
"Saskatoon Saskatchewan".
NY: "Say what?"
"Saskatoon Saskatchewan!"
NY: "You obviously don't speak English bud."

Lucky he wasn't from Kangiqsualujjuaq*, that would pose a real problem.

*George River, before the natives became empowered.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Or Lake Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg

Webster Lake, Mass. to you and me.

Sounds like the kind of noise you'd expect from a Welshman being strangled

[OFSO]

I could live with that.

[Stoneboat]

Or Lake Char­gogg­a­gogg­man­chaugg­a­gogg­chau­bun­a­gung­a­maugg*
Webster Lake, Mass. to you and me.

*Old native expression meaning "In this land we pay no tax."

[ricardian]

Seasonal cartoon

[ricardian]

Decisions, decisions...

[ricardian]

[Slasher]

[Stoneboat]

Who says New Zealanders don't have a sense of humour.

WE ARE THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN UNIVERSITY
by John Ansell (with nod to W S Gilbert)

We are the very model of a modern university,
Demoting education and devoted to diversity
Indigenous ethnicity and gender multiplicity
And when we get offended how we generate publicity!

We’re cuddly Marxist-Leninists and Islamist apologists
And Helen Clarxist feminists and animist ecologists;
We have the NZUSA to help the LGBTQ
And when you’re brown and being put down we’ll stop the white man beating you!

And of your right to speak your mind we’re infinitely tolerant
Unless you’re white or on the right or male or Jew or Protestant
Our studies fortify the fifth (that’s almost every) columnist
And how we love the Catholics now the Pontiff is a communist!

By our denomination we’re the true identitarians
And number in our congregation many Treatifarians;
We peer review our mates’ research and doctor methodology
As members of the Leftist Church of Climate Scientology!

We’re all about identity: not what you know, but who you are;
If you’ve the right parentity it’s going to take you very far;
As our preferred minority you’ve got an opportunity
As from the need that you succeed you’re guaranteed immunity!

Reforming to be sure that we’re performing in Humanities
We’ve gender studies, ethnic studies, studies in profanities;
We’ve got the most discriminating funders that we have to please
Or soon we may not be in full possession of our faculties!

We educate the teachers of your children how to lie to them:
“The Treaty is a partnership!” whenever they reply to them;
We have to keep pretending cos the tribes are quite fanatical
And I’m expecting tenure and I’m due for my sabbatical!

A tribal-sovereign partnership is manifestly risible;
That treaty had no principles unless in ink invisible
And neither did the doctor who concocted the untenable:
He was the very model of a bad Attorney-General!

Defending all the rights of those who demonstrate obedience,
Abusing the respected and excusing every deviance
We vilify conservatives and glorify perversity:
We are the very model of a modern university!

[FD2]

Very good!

[ExSp33db1rd]

And of your right to speak your mind we’re infinitely tolerant
Unless you’re white or on the right or male or Jew or Protestant

Spot on !

[OFSO]

Excellent. Read aloud to Mrs OFSO over morning cuppa in bed. Laughed.

[unifoxos]

Excellent, couldn't resist singing it but had to keep stopping to chuckle.

In other news one supermarket has had to repackage chocolate easter ducks after racism complaints. LINK

Henceforward the Ugly Duckling song must use the following lyrics:-

There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown white
And the other birds in so many words said
"Quack" You look like shite...

[Wodrick]

Morning all,
Clear unbroken blue, guess for 22c.

Nothing much has happened, SM got a perfect eye assessment yesterday with an opinion that perhaps she was having a reaction to the drops.
Cease fifthwith.
She now is keeping the original appointment to start repair to the Health Service job on the left eye.

Me to el medico later just to renew scrip, I might ask him for a hearing test as I am conscious that hearing is deteriorating.
All that walking the apron with mediocre protection.

[Slasher]

I might ask him for a hearing test as I am conscious that hearing is deteriorating.

Wrong thread methinks sir. You don't need a hearing test - you need an eye test!

[Wodrick]

Wrong thread methinks sir.

Correct, I do that a lot

[Stoneboat]

I got that from a NZ friend, a politician no less.

[ribrash]

I was talking to a pretty red head in the pub earlier wearing a tight skirt high heels and a skimpy top.
she said "aren't you cold dressed like that"

[Sisemen]

[Slasher]

See? Sheep are racist. They won't have anything to do with the black sod!