Friday Jokes

[llondel]

bladder.jpg

At the moment for me it's the dog's bladder. Getting up is preferable to cleaning up, especially given that I have to get dressed, walk her down the corridor, wait for the lift, descend to the ground floor and then get her outside, whereupon she pees on the path right outside the door.

[Pontius Navigator]

Ilondel, that is one thing our dog does not demand. In fact come our bed time the only thing that gets her out of her scratcher is hunting for food on the lawn.
Come the dawn only after breakfast is served does she deign to get up. Going outside can be an hour or more later.
Yesterday she spent 5 hours in a small travel crate, not a murmur. Scotties are like that. Hours of inactivity and then pee for a minute or more.

[llondel]

When we're at home Kepler is like that, happy to lie around until I get up. In a strange place there's always the chance that she'll smell something and want to pee on it so I like to establish a routine. She's spent much of the past couple of weeks in a crate.

[EA01]

'Kepler' was ringing a bell for me, and then I remembered...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kepler_Wessels

[llondel]

Insomnia is terrible. But on the plus side, only three sleeps until Christmas.

[ricardian]

Topical (and true)

[fareastdriver]

Depends on your point of view

[Boac]

Have we found someone who voted for Boris as PM, Perchance?

[Pontius Navigator]

I would wager a bet that no one in this forum voted for Boris.
Only those in his constituency had that privilege.

[fareastdriver]

I thought that this was a jokes thread; not a political forum.

[Boac]

Have we found someone who voted for Boris as PM, Perchance?

That WAS a joke, FED

[FD2]

If ‘we’ had that voting choice would it have been better to go for bumbling Boris with all his obvious faults or Starmer who appears well meant but has proved to be entirely useless. Who would be less useless as PM...

Personally I can’t see an ounce of inspiring politician in any of the parties.

Excuse the drift from anything humorous.

[fareastdriver]

That WAS a joke, FED
I will accept that explanation so that I stay on the website. I was taught, as a young APO that humour excluded named women, religion and politics.

[Woody]

[Opsboi]

I thought that this was a jokes thread; not a political forum.

Politics bore me shitless

I thought that was funny enough to repost in my favourite chatroom

It's gone down quite well in their Joke forum

QED

[EA01]

Classic Mustang...

[emjay]

grammar_nazi.jpg (83.91 KiB) Viewed 385 times

Copyright acknowledged..

[Pontius Navigator]

Taking my first dip in the Indian Ocean (and last) I heard what I thought was an ice cream seller walking along the surf line shouting his wares. Others were getting out to get an ice cream I thought. Then I heard more clearly :

'arks,' 'arks

[EA01]

PN, I was out for a wave a few years back and could not understand what the surf patrol chopper was doing circling overhead and 'playing' a loud siren of sorts, and then the penny dropped, large 'Noah' nearby, and we all scrambled to catch the next one in!

(Noah = Noah's Ark)

[OFSO]

Joe Biden said the Queen reminded him of his mother. Emmanuel Macron didn't say she reminded him of his wife.