Ops-Normal.org

Get this book banned. Now!!!

Krzstof Przybyszewski arrived at a Police station late one night to lay a charge of intent to murder against his wife. When they asked him on what grounds he was making the accusation, he said that he got home late, his wife was already in bed, and this was on her bedside table :

ricardian wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 18, 2019 8:41 am

Apologies for aviation content

A place I once worked had a vending machine. I avoided it but I was told that the coffee tasted like tea and the tea tasted like some sort of industrial cleaning fluid. It also had the habit of dispensing cups that fell over, so the following liquid got sprayed everywhere.

Clever - look it up!

God also hates penguins, Genesis 7:14

Once Noah's Ark had come to rest after the flood, God instructed the occupants to 'go forth and multiply' - which is a metaphor for 'Fcuk off!' - So they Fcuked off . . . (as they had long distances to travel in order to repopulate the entire World

"How shall we f#ck off, O Lord?"

Fox3WheresMyBanana wrote: ↑

Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:59 pm

"How shall we f#ck off, O Lord?"

BTW Fox I looked the ref up and can't find anywhere that god had it in for the penguins.

Biblical references ?

Many years ago, leaving the crew hotel after our very first visit to Auckland, the receptionist asked how we had "found" I.e. appreciated, New Zealand ? The F/O just said “Hebrews 13 v 8.” At our next stop I consulted the Gideon Bible contained in every hotel bedside drawer. ( Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever ).

Still true ( don't go to N.Z at a weekend - It'll be closed )

Penguins are birds without wings; God told Noah to save only the birds with wings.

Flippin' heck!

So God sent the flood waters to cover the Earth...

..but penguins live on the ice...

...and ice floats, so He never got 'em!

And Noah, one evening in his 600th year just after teatime, did he askerh the Lord "I hath taken all animals two by two, and all birds with wings, but the gentle penguin I cannot find. What sayeth you O Lord?"

God replied "Verily I say unto you my servant, to hell with the bloody penguins. All the do is squawk and sh!t everywhere. Speaketh of them not!"

How God created animals.

My fav'rites;

God creating the turkey...
God: Make it like a **** brown peacock.
Angel: Anything else?
God: Hang a nut sack on its face.

God creating alligators:
God: See that log?
Angel: Yeah.
God: Fill it with teeth.

In his wisdom god made the fly
But then the fcuk didn't tell us why!

Same with bloody mozzies.

[God creating thunderstorms]

God: here...take these and scatter 'em round the Earth

Angel: ok but why?

God: it's me giving the finger to pilots. Arrogant bastards.

Angel: but won't everyone then realise you hate pilots?

God: Nah. They'll call it "Nature".


[God creating airline jets]

God: grab these things and put lots of fuel in the wings and jet engines on 'em.

Angel: ok

God: have them fly through thunderstorms and stuff

Angel: but doesn't water snuff out flames?

God: yep

Angel: and don't sparks ignite fuel?

God: yep

Angel: