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BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women

I am not sure why Woody has put this under 'jokes'. It sounds to me more like a statement of fact, or for the uninitiated, a set of instructions.

Capetonian wrote: ↑

Sat May 23, 2020 7:05 am

I am not sure why Woody has put this under 'jokes'. It sounds to me more like a statement of fact, or for the uninitiated, a set of instructions.

Wasn’t totally convinced that I should put it here, but as long as MrsWoody doesn’t find out, think I’m safe

Woody, the ONLY reason the woman does those things is that they not a vital component of the male BBQ. The only essentials are the meat, the beer, and a bun. The only thing that should be red is rare steak and the only purpose of the green stuff is to feed the women.

When I can get back to Somerset West a ZA mate has promised to show me how to Braai properly

GrandMa... You know my nipples are as hot this morning as they were fifty years ago.
GrandPa... I'm not surprised, one is in your coffee and the other is in your porridge..

A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.

Oof.

1DC wrote: ↑

Sat May 23, 2020 2:16 pm

GrandMa... You know my nipples are as hot this morning as they were fifty years ago.
GrandPa... I'm not surprised, one is in your coffee and the other is in your porridge..

Seeing as it's our 51st wedding anniversary today, I thought I might show this to SWMBO. Then I realised, I haven't survived this long by being that stupid!

Long time - congratulations.

Thanks Wodders. Time flies, it only seems like 60.