Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 1:50 am
Some more trespass signs. https://shortquotes.cc/funny-no-trespassing-quotes/
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Friday Jokes
Page 426 of 547
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Mon May 16, 2022 11:56 am
I liked the clever American technique of printing a fly under the enamel. Men cannot avoid aiming at the fly.
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 8:35 am
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 9:23 am
Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh, Ricardian. I'm having one made for my garden except it will be pigeons, not seagulls.
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Tue May 17, 2022 9:27 pm
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Wed May 18, 2022 3:01 pm
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Wed May 18, 2022 11:46 pm
Missing: Groucho Marx glasses with nose, eyebrows, and moustache.
PP
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Thu May 19, 2022 2:28 am
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Fri May 20, 2022 3:10 pm
Disgusting! I bet the 'dress' wasn't cheap and you think it would have come with at least 1 pair of Y-fronts, wouldn't you?
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Sat May 21, 2022 6:18 pm
This one is original! https://www.airlive.net/a-welcome-to-lu ... k-airport/
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Sat May 21, 2022 6:32 pm
I don't have time to set up a sign for tomorrow at 4 am when TGG flies over our house.....
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 6:03 am
Australian Election -
Verified
HILLSONG CALLING: In some breaking news from the world of politics, Scott Morrison has confirmed that it is officially not his job to be Prime Minister anymore.
After nearly four years of neglecting his job as Prime Minister and swerving any form of accountability for letting the people he is supposed to work for down, Scotty from Marketing no longer has to pretend like it is his job to lead us.
This comes after the nation voted emphatically in favour of turfing out a government that has taken the privilege of leading for granted.
It’s still unknown whether the Labor party will be able to form a majority government, but both major parties have taken a significant hit to their primary votes, with the Liberal Party losing a swathe of seats.
The Greens look like picking up 3 seats with the Teals winning at least 5 seats, including that of former Treasurer Josh Frydenberg in Kooyong.
Regardless of how the next Labor government is formed, it has now been confirmed that Scott Morrison no longer needs to defend his inaction on natural disasters, climate change, the economy and public health in the form of pandemic protection and recovery.
A couple of years after he revealed the theme for his Prime Ministership was that he didn’t ‘hold a hose mate,’ it is now officially no longer his job to lead the country.
It is not known who will replace him as ‘leader’ of the Liberal Party, but with Frydenberg out of the picture, it looks like it’s finally Peter Dutton’s time.
More to come.
Verified
HILLSONG CALLING: In some breaking news from the world of politics, Scott Morrison has confirmed that it is officially not his job to be Prime Minister anymore.
After nearly four years of neglecting his job as Prime Minister and swerving any form of accountability for letting the people he is supposed to work for down, Scotty from Marketing no longer has to pretend like it is his job to lead us.
This comes after the nation voted emphatically in favour of turfing out a government that has taken the privilege of leading for granted.
It’s still unknown whether the Labor party will be able to form a majority government, but both major parties have taken a significant hit to their primary votes, with the Liberal Party losing a swathe of seats.
The Greens look like picking up 3 seats with the Teals winning at least 5 seats, including that of former Treasurer Josh Frydenberg in Kooyong.
Regardless of how the next Labor government is formed, it has now been confirmed that Scott Morrison no longer needs to defend his inaction on natural disasters, climate change, the economy and public health in the form of pandemic protection and recovery.
A couple of years after he revealed the theme for his Prime Ministership was that he didn’t ‘hold a hose mate,’ it is now officially no longer his job to lead the country.
It is not known who will replace him as ‘leader’ of the Liberal Party, but with Frydenberg out of the picture, it looks like it’s finally Peter Dutton’s time.
More to come.
Re: Friday Jokes
Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 6:16 am
BACK INTO PUBLIC HOUSING:
The nation has this week elected their first ethnic Prime Minister in the shape of Anthony Albanese MP, an Italian-Australian from the Sydney flight path suburb of Marrickville.
Albanese claimed victory on Saturday, with the remaining vote count indicating he just may achieve the 76 seats required to form a majority government.
Ironically, this now means that the former houso kid will be returning to public housing.
In his new role as the leader of the country, Albanese must now relocate his Sydney address to the Prime Minster’s secondary official residence of Kirribilli house.
Located in the affluent lower north shore of Sydney harbour, Kirribilli an area not often associated with with Southern European influences more commonly seen in Australia’s working class suburbs.
However, with the keys to the kingdom now in his hands, The Prime Minister-elect has moved quickly to put a bit of a gremolata garnish on the old colonial homestead.
Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s framed Sharkies jersey have all been thrown into the skip bin, replaced instead by polaroid photos of Mr Albanese meeting c-list American celebrities and Home & Away stars.
The front garden of Kirribilli House has also been dug up, and covered in a conventional on-ground jointless concrete slab.
The jacaranda tree has been relocated into a pebblecrete tub pot, joining a new fig tree that Albo paid cash for from some Greek bloke in the car park of the Inner West Hawks Football club.
The finishing touches, two marble lions that imported directly from the old country, will now greet foreign diplomats at the front gate of the harbourside mansion.
It is not known where Albanese’s Valiant Charger will be parked, however a recent DA submitted to the North Sydney council shows plans for the installation of a steel Titan shed on the rolling lawns overlooking the Opera House.
(Tip; Italian immigrants to Australia were known for concreting everything & adding statues)
The nation has this week elected their first ethnic Prime Minister in the shape of Anthony Albanese MP, an Italian-Australian from the Sydney flight path suburb of Marrickville.
Albanese claimed victory on Saturday, with the remaining vote count indicating he just may achieve the 76 seats required to form a majority government.
Ironically, this now means that the former houso kid will be returning to public housing.
In his new role as the leader of the country, Albanese must now relocate his Sydney address to the Prime Minster’s secondary official residence of Kirribilli house.
Located in the affluent lower north shore of Sydney harbour, Kirribilli an area not often associated with with Southern European influences more commonly seen in Australia’s working class suburbs.
However, with the keys to the kingdom now in his hands, The Prime Minister-elect has moved quickly to put a bit of a gremolata garnish on the old colonial homestead.
Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s framed Sharkies jersey have all been thrown into the skip bin, replaced instead by polaroid photos of Mr Albanese meeting c-list American celebrities and Home & Away stars.
The front garden of Kirribilli House has also been dug up, and covered in a conventional on-ground jointless concrete slab.
The jacaranda tree has been relocated into a pebblecrete tub pot, joining a new fig tree that Albo paid cash for from some Greek bloke in the car park of the Inner West Hawks Football club.
The finishing touches, two marble lions that imported directly from the old country, will now greet foreign diplomats at the front gate of the harbourside mansion.
It is not known where Albanese’s Valiant Charger will be parked, however a recent DA submitted to the North Sydney council shows plans for the installation of a steel Titan shed on the rolling lawns overlooking the Opera House.
(Tip; Italian immigrants to Australia were known for concreting everything & adding statues)
