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This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.
The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt there after.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers with humour: No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving... on the other side???

Woody wrote: ↑

Wed Jun 15, 2022 4:15 pm

.... No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving... on the other side???

Similar thing happened in real life to a bloke driving a LHD army truck rather fastly on Heathcote Rd. in Sydney. The large Holdsworthy military complex is in the area. Truck is pulled over by a civilian cop: "Do you know you were speeding?" Bloke in right hand seat of the truck looks down and says "Not me, mate." Cop checks his licence and writes him a ticket, which he fights and gets off.
This is definitely a true story, as it was told to me by a bloke who's brother in law had a mate who knew a transport Sgt. who heard it from an officer.

Similar happened to me getting off the overnight ferry, from Helsinki, in Stockholm.

They tend to breathalyse all the drivers and we were driving the MG (RHD) to UK.

Policeman goes up to, what he thinks is the driver and shoves breathalyser in window whilst I am gesticulating wildly from other side.

Eventually realises his mistake and comes round to me (driving).

By this time I have tears in my arms from laughing and policeman is not amused when it takes me several goes to provide a (negative) sample.

The Last Laugh?

Tombstone with father’s hidden message is causing controversy

https://www.azfamily.com/2022/06/15/tom ... ntroversy/


POLK COUNTY, Iowa (KCCI) - Some people love to get the last laugh, even in death.

A tombstone in Iowa is causing a bit of a stir because of a message hidden in plain sight that some people find offensive.

Each tombstone reads something different - some even with hidden messages, like the one for Steven Paul Owens.

The first letter of each phrase on his tombstone in the Warren-Powers Cemetery reads “F--- off.”

It’s a phrase the Owens family said he shared often and jokingly.

“It was definitely his term of endearment. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you. It’s just who he was,” said Steven’s daughter Lindsay Owens.

It’s something his family did as a harmless way to remember him, but it has been called into question by the cemetery.

Staff said they’ve been against the headstone from the beginning, as profanity has no place where loved ones are laid to rest for eternity.

Now, the family hopes they don’t have to get rid of the gravestone.

“No one’s forcing anyone to come out and look at it. That’s a choice that you make. We didn’t do it to offend anyone, make anyone mad or hurt anyone’s feelings. We did it because it was our father, and we love him, and that’s how we remember him,” Steven’s son Zachary Owens said.

The cemetery gave no immediate word if the family would be forced to remove the tombstone.

Video won't play here so,,,

Forever in our hearts
Until we meet again
Cherished memories
Known as

Our son, brother,
Father, papa, uncle,
Friend, & cousin

PP

France, I can't recall if I had had a beer or so, but we were driving through a French village and there was a road block across both sides..

The police were checking and booked all the drivers both coming and going, laughing while they did it. They just waved us through.

There had been two weddings. The reception for each was on the far side of the road block.

When filling out a job application one question asked for "previous life experience" so I wrote that I was a Pharaoh in 2300 BC and Groom of the Stool to Richard III

Lincolnshire - Battle of Britain Reception at Cranwell. First chap to leave spotted a Police car at the A15 junction. Reversed, headed off the other way and there was another one at the A17 junction. Reversed, and headed back to the do for a word with the PMC.

There is a reason the Chief Constable is invited to these do's.

Twenty minutes later, no Police cars!

ricardian wrote: ↑

Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:21 am

When filling out a job application one question asked for "previous life experience" so I wrote that I was a Pharaoh in 2300 BC and Groom of the Stool to Richard III

That would give you high marks in the FCO.