Ops-Normal.org

Why does Karl Marx hate Earl Grey?
Because all proper tea is theft.

ricardian wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 20, 2022 7:30 pm

A rather worrying sign (apologies for aviation content)

There's a bank in edinburgh, and the drive-through ATM has braille keys. Hmmmm.

Spiders are the only web developers who enjoy finding bugs.

More from somewhere else :

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.




Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.



The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I've got her a pair of football boots.


Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup.


My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.



Did anyone get an owner’s manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise!



My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me.



My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason.



Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called a wedding cake.



Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup.

Guineapigs are better.

At what? Boolean Algebra? I did hear a rumour to that effect.

Yes and no.

If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner, you're a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are - find the time to microwave the food.

Prince Andrew missed the jubilee celebrations because he had Covid 19

Well, actually, it was Covid 15 but it looked 19

Social media post by Mike: "Rachel and I are no longer engaged."
Social media response by Rachel: "Mike, that's a dreadful way of telling people that we're married!"

With petrol being the price it is, I am using vodka in my lawn mower and my lawn is now half cut.

A lawyer who had 12 children needed to move because the rental agreement on their house was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children because he couldn't lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie) so he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right.
The agent asked:" How many children do you have?"
He answered: "Twelve."
The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother."

Moral of this story:
It's not necessary to lie; one has only to choose the right words.
Don't forget — most politicians are lawyers..

Oh Woody, how very true. "I've just got one thing to buy in the supermarket. Wait in the car, I won't be a minute. "
Emerges thirty minutes later struggling to carry a large shopping bag.