Darwin Awards

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Capetonian

Darwin Awards

#1 Post by Capetonian » Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:41 am

I submit my starter :

Man tries to kill a spider on his gas tank with a LIGHTER and sets a fill-up station on fire

Man who is afraid of spiders started a blaze at a Detroit gas station when he tried to kill the insect with a lighter
Before firefighters arrived, the man managed to grab a fire extinguisher and put out the flames
When a man tried to kill a spider at a gas station with a cigarette lighter last week his plan backfired and his car plus a gas pump was set ablaze.

The unidentified Detroit, Michigan man was not seriously injured and managed to escape the scorching flames and the damage was contained to one pump which was destroyed.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#2 Post by A Lutra Continua » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:12 am

Like the geniuses (more than likely the security guards) at Lanseria stealing fuel from a DC3 at night. They used a lighter to check the fuel level in the tank and set fire to the aircraft. One of the same set of geniuses at an airport just down the road insisted I send my KaBar folding knife through the X-Ray machine then handed it back to me on the other side before I stepped out onto the apron.

The whole point of the exercise is entirely lost on some folks.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#3 Post by Magnus » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:42 am

Army mate used to have to put his gun on the table before going through the arch. Pick it up on the other side . . .

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Re: Darwin Awards

#4 Post by Ex-Ascot » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:44 am

ALC, then there was the time there was a power cut somewhere down here so they used a broom handle to push things through the x-ray machine.

Or the time I was 'carrying'. Went through security, alarms went off. I explained to the RAF copper it was probably due to my pistol. 'That's OK then Sir'. Then he insisted on X raying the crew ammunition box. [-(
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Re: Darwin Awards

#5 Post by A Lutra Continua » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:49 am

Ex-Ascot wrote:...he insisted on X raying the crew ammunition box. [-(



In case it contained something sharp?Image

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Re: Darwin Awards

#6 Post by Woody » Sun Sep 27, 2015 6:21 pm

Four candidates in one and they were Tykes ^:)^

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-34373237
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Re: Darwin Awards

#7 Post by angels » Sun Sep 27, 2015 6:53 pm

Woody - I was going to say that they didn't qualify because they were hit from behind, but reading between the lines of the report it rather looks like they were fannying around.

Still, here's one in which there is no doubt. From two cameras as well.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=894_1442858931
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Darwin Awards: 2 Honourable Mentions

#8 Post by TWT » Wed Sep 30, 2015 9:56 pm

Man drives onto train tracks following his GPS and narrowly escapes with his life.But the Japanese tourists who attempted to drive to an ISLAND take the cake !!!

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/car-hit-by-train-after-man-follows-gps-onto-tracks-in-coburg-20150930-gjylsz.html

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Re: Darwin Awards

#9 Post by A Lutra Continua » Thu Oct 01, 2015 5:20 am

The Emperor is strong in them.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#10 Post by 500N » Thu Oct 01, 2015 5:42 am

You have to wonder.

I know that location, it's not that bad.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#11 Post by OFSO » Thu Oct 01, 2015 4:15 pm

The bodies of two Englishwomen were recovered from the sea off LLoret del Mar a few hours ago. They were members of an English group which went swimming despite red danger flags on display. The waves were 6 metres high, and TV news and Meteocat had issued warnings of dangerously high seas on the Costa Brava.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#12 Post by 500N » Thu Oct 01, 2015 4:25 pm

OFSO wrote:The bodies of two Englishwomen were recovered from the sea off LLoret del Mar a few hours ago. They were members of an English group which went swimming despite red danger flags on display. The waves were 6 metres high, and TV news and Meteocat had issued warnings of dangerously high seas on the Costa Brava.



You forgot the 4.00am part !

It is not nice being in big seas / waves at night. It is very disorientating due to it being very dark.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#13 Post by rgbrock1 » Thu Oct 01, 2015 4:27 pm

500N wrote:
OFSO wrote:The bodies of two Englishwomen were recovered from the sea off LLoret del Mar a few hours ago. They were members of an English group which went swimming despite red danger flags on display. The waves were 6 metres high, and TV news and Meteocat had issued warnings of dangerously high seas on the Costa Brava.



You forgot the 4.00am part !

It is not nice being in big seas / waves at night. It is very disorientating due to it being very dark.


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Re: Darwin Awards

#14 Post by Airborne Aircrew » Thu Oct 01, 2015 6:31 pm

Capetonian wrote:I submit my starter :

Man tries to kill a spider on his gas tank with a LIGHTER and sets a fill-up station on fire

Man who is afraid of spiders started a blaze at a Detroit gas station when he tried to kill the insect with a lighter
Before firefighters arrived, the man managed to grab a fire extinguisher and put out the flames
When a man tried to kill a spider at a gas station with a cigarette lighter last week his plan backfired and his car plus a gas pump was set ablaze.

The unidentified Detroit, Michigan man was not seriously injured and managed to escape the scorching flames and the damage was contained to one pump which was destroyed.


Here's the video...

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Re: Darwin Awards

#15 Post by Capetonian » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:17 am

A shoplifter was caught after going to a police station to complain about the circulation of his CCTV image.

Roofer Nicholas Allegretto was filmed by security cameras installed in the Mackays hardware store in Cambridge after stealing an industrial magnet.

The shop printed a picture of his face, which was obscured, and the image was later posted on Facebook and appeared in the local newspaper.

Instead of lying low, 23-year-old Allegretto went to the city’s Parkside police station, angry the picture had been published.

He was arrested and prosecuted.

Shop owner Neil Mackay said: "I suppose you could say he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box.

"I didn't really expect him to be caught so I couldn't believe it when I heard he had rocked up at the police station and identified himself - you've got to laugh really."

According to the Cambridge News, when asked by police why he had come to the station, Allegretto told officers his family had noticed his image and he had lost his job at a roofing company as a result of the rumours.

Allegretto, of Ditton Fields, Cambridge, was convicted of theft in his absence at Cambridge Magistrates' Court on Wednesday.

The court heard he stole the £23 magnet in February and a spokesman for the court confirmed he had been fined £400 and ordered to pay legal costs totalling £620.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#16 Post by A Lutra Continua » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:39 am

This is more the work of the Emperor (PBUH) than Darwin. The Emperor doesn't require that one no longer reproduces once he's had his wicked way with one. In the aforementioned case, the subject is capable of, and no doubt in future will accomplish splashing its DNA among those of the opposite sex. Unless Darwin does eventually get round to him, that is.

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Re: Darwin Awards

#17 Post by Chuks » Fri Oct 02, 2015 1:40 pm

That is a very, very good point! Darwin seems to be getting all the attention, which is more than a bit upsetting to those of us who have been very, very loyal to the Emperor Mong, following his every command, suggestion, and hint our whole lives long.

Doing that sometimes, oddly enough, may include getting hitched to some golem and then spawning some hell-brats. That's something Darwin and his award would not touch with a barge-pole; it means disqualification yet it still deserves recognition. "Going out on the town looking for fun, adventure, and luurve, my devotee? Be sure to don your beer goggles first"

"Thy wish is my command, o malevolent one," followed nine months later by, "But it seemed like such a good idea at the time!" Mwahahah!

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Re: Darwin Awards

#18 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Fri Oct 02, 2015 1:56 pm

Two Mexican smugglers remove the airbags from their car to stash 25kg of cocaine in the spaces - then crash the car. Guess what? =))

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government ... s-cocaine/

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Re: Darwin Awards

#19 Post by Airborne Aircrew » Fri Oct 02, 2015 2:21 pm

"Thy wish is my command, o malevolent one," followed nine months later by, "But it seemed like such a good idea at the time!" Mwahahah!


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Re: Darwin Awards

#20 Post by angels » Fri Oct 09, 2015 9:24 pm

Here is one where there is no shadow of a doubt that the chap has gone to meet his maker. It's almost like a cartoon....Warning, graphic, but, er, not graphic. You'll see what I mean.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=718_1444408688
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