Royal Bank of Wankers

[ExSp33db1rd]

Similar experience with Natwest - Oh! wait a minute RBS ?

[Slasher]

This clip was posted very recently so it's very pertinent. Strongly recommend all of you to take a good look. This is why I only wire stuff in Swiss Francs (1 CHF = 1 USD near enough).





Got held up once by those Citibank pricks in NY while wiring a retirement portfolio premium to London. If it wasn't for a great bloke at my bank in the Gulf I would've lost the bloody lot!

And yet another reason why I hate the stinking damn US Fed.

[Ex-Ascot]

Said before apart from two problems in 40 odd years both resolved we will stick with them. Just tried to book ship tickets for our return to the island. They send you a SMS with a security code which has to be inserted within 30 secs to confirm the payment It takes up to 2 hrs for my wife to get an SMS from me sitting next to her. So phoned them (Skype) on their fraud Visa phone line which I got when they phoned me over fraud withdraws. Spoke to a very nice girlie, tried to persuade her to come here on holiday but enough of that. She asked me all sorts of difficult questions to prove who I was. like my age. In the end I just told her a few things that she really didn't want to know and I was let off the interrogation. She said leave it two minutes and I will clear it through. She did. Still don't think she is coming here on holiday though. Oh well, probably a huge Highland lass anyway.

[ExSp33db1rd]

She asked me all sorts of difficult questions to prove who I was ...

Like the name of your Grandmother's second dog ?

( and other idiocies ? )

[llondel]

I find that my answers to the common security questions are probably quite secure now, given that they're not typical US answers won't have heard of the UK equivalent, and if there's a variation between UK and US spelling then I use that too.

[Ex-Ascot]

She asked when I had changed address. Lord knows. She asked if I had any standing orders for various charities. No. I have been asked before what was the last debit card use and for how much. No idea. What got me off the hook this time was I remembered that the annual payment for the Royal Air Force Club had just gone through and remembered the approximate amount.

When I have done this offering information before I have got 'Ve ask the questions'.

Anyway I find them generally very helpful and charming. Also always very nice to hear the Scottish accent in the middle of deep dark Africa.

[CharlieOneSix]

Mrs C16 and I have a new online joint savings account with KentReliance. I am the first named account holder. My withdrawals have to be to a nominated account and I have nominated our joint current account with another bank. Each KentReliance joint account holder has to have a nominated account to enable them to withdraw money.

Mrs C16 tried to set up her nominated account in her sole name with a different bank to mine. No, you can’t do that say two different customer advisers in reply to two separate secure messages querying the initial refusal. You can only have one nominated account they say. They incorrectly think she already has a nominated account as her name is on my nominated account.

They don’t seem to understand that with her login details she has no access to enable her to withdraw money to my nominated account - not that she wants to. In fact she cannot withdraw any money at the moment because they won't set up a nominated account for her. A long email gone to KentReliance complaints department quoting all their own regulations which clearly state she is entitled to her own nominated account. Some retraining is necessary methinks. However if they persist in refusing then she has told them we shall have to consider our position as they would make it impossible for us to operate the account as we would wish. They are not the only fish in the sea.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Never let them forget that you have a choice - at the moment.

[OFSO]

Sent a written request to my bank asking for a money
transfer out. Can't do it with my new card as they forgot to send the PIN that went with it, and I'm waiting for new PIN.. Bank responds saying they need a certified copy of my passport. WTF ? AFAIK it's not a legal requirement to have a passport, or, in the UK, an ID card or driving licence. Just being assholes (them not me).

[ExSp33db1rd]

Not The Royal Bank of Wankers, but three distant cousins living in NZ.

Recent experiences .....

1) Bank A. Rang me - a Term Deposit matures tomorrow, ( a not inconsiderable sum ) would you like to re-invest ? Yes, and terms re-negotiated, thank you. Next day - large sum in non-interest bearing daily use a/c, but another Term Deposit due in a month's time now cancelled and the money also in the same holding a/c. WTF ? Oh, didn't you want that deposit prematurely closed ? No, now I have lost a months interest and you've probably charged me a premature closing fee ? Yes, we have. And I've now lost a day's interest on the new deposit that we organised yesterday, and it took you 45 minutes of my forced listening to Rap Music before you even answered my call. Tough. Eventually sorted out, but half a day wasted.

2) Bank B Rang Mrs. ExS. Would you like to re-invest the Term Deposit maturing tomorrow ? Yes, terms agreed. Next day, not done. Eventually spoke to a human, Oh ! Sorry you never gave us instructions, Yes I did, and YOU rang me to start with. OK, we'll start now. No, backdate it to yesterday. Can't do that, and you can't have those interest / period terms, that "offer" has expired. Another day wasted and eventually sorted.

3) Bank C I negotiated Online a new Term Deposit. Next day checked Online, money taken from nominated a/c and new a/c shown on list of accounts held, correctly recorded for 12 months, but ... balance shown as Zero ! Not the new principal, as it should. More music, another half day lost.

Where do they get them from, looks like it's a World Wide problem ? Lawyers, Estate Agents, Bank Staff.

One could weep.

[FD2]

Don't worry mate - she'll be right..

[ExSp33db1rd]

Don't worry mate - she'll be right..

ASB, Kiwi, ANZ.

Bank 2 was ASB, Mrs.ExS asked for her Tax Cert. told it was on the website, look left at "documents". We couldn't find it, so popped into the local branch this arvo. and they said, come over her, and we'll show you. Opened up a computer terminal, got her to sign in ( yes, she could remember the name of her Grandmother's second dog ) and select "documents", then the assistant said "now, if you move the mouse pointer over here, look for ...." Oh ! it's not there.

Won one, but it took up time we would rather not have wasted.

Idjits, the lot of them.

[FD2]

Went into the local ANZ branch a few months ago to change our account address as I was buying stuff a few shops away. I had all the required ID etc but it still took them 15 minutes! What also annoyed me was people in the queue looking at me as if it was my fault!

With some of the UK banks there are certain things that can't be sorted on the internet (maybe because I am likely to be trying to 'clean' a few million pounds), so when I phone I am kept waiting for ages, being told repeatedly that my 'custom is valuable to them'. Small fry get put through the mill, the real bad guys seem to be able to launder money at will.

I find KiwiBank is a lot easier to deal with, so far....

[ExSp33db1rd]

I find KiwiBank is a lot easier to deal with, so far....

Well done, not our experience, and they send "open" e-mails with all sorts of confidential information, even account numbers and usernames. A letter to the CEO said "not to worry we have good security" - but do I ? I doubt that we are totally watertight despite taking the best advice, nothing is totally infallible.

Between us, Mrs. ExS and self have some connection with most of the popular NZ banks, eggs in basket syndrome I guess, and they all drive us to despair at some time or another. I guess ANZ look after me more or less satisfactorily, apart from their iniquitous habit of charging a fortune to process a UK cheque, which ASB don't, but their cock-up this week has lost them some Brownie Points.

[llondel]

Just to show they're not all bad, although it probably highlights the difference in the US between a bank and a credit union, when I moved to the US some years ago, I spent a day in the local CU branch sorting out a loan (with no US credit history, I wasn't even in the credit system) for a car, which they managed. Then I turned up every month to do a wire transfer back to the family in the UK, which invariably took an hour due to all the stupid paperwork they had to do every time to comply with government requirements. I was on first-name terms with all of the staff. I think they were relieved when the family moved over and we didn't have to do that any more although they are still helpful and friendly.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Local Westpac Bank Aus. bank with NZ subsidiary.

Currently offering nice terms for an investment account that interests us, but not available to open Online, have to visit local branch in town. (thinks, will I have to find a tie ? ) So .. just rang the branch to see if I could make an appointment with - quote ... and Investment Adviser, (Oxymoron ? most likely Moron anyway. ) "My call was very important to them" so much so that I wasn't even given the option to hang on for a couple of hours of light musical entertainment, and no offer to call back in line with my place in the queue, just leave a message. Maybe a bit presumptious of me to suggest that they would be able to see me at any time of my choice, I guess, but I was left with little option but to suggest " 3.00 pm tomorrow", which I felt was not unreasonable ?

They have just called back and said get stuffed, or words to that effect, no chance before a week from Wednesday, 9 days hence, and this is in a small town local branch. What is it with these "Queens" ?

I wish I was going to deposit the result of a very large Lottery win, and could have told them that I would give it to a competitor, but loss of my pittance is unlikely to bother them, more likely irritate them by having to "manage" it.

But over a week to just walk into your local branch ?

World's Gone Mad.

[Capetonian]

I have just had the most inane conversation with Standard Bank (ZA) when I phoned with a query on one of my accounts.

Security questions :
ZA ID number : OK, answer given correctly.
Cellphone number : OK, answer given correctly.
On xx date you paid an invoice from Avis Car Rental, how much was that for? : OK, answer given correctly.
When did you purchase property at xxxxxx (an address in Kwa Zulu Natal that I'd never heard of)? : Never, this means nothing to me.
Do you have a store card with Ellerines? : No, I've never even bought anything from them (I think it's a downmarket clothing store)
Can you give me the amount of your last payment from your account to Truworths? : No, ditto as above.

"I'm sorry but you have failed the security questions."

After I insisted and said how stupid the questions were the lady went through some sensible questions which I was able to answer correctly and the problem was then resolved, but FFS!

[ian16th]

I have just had the most inane conversation with Standard Bank (ZA) when I phoned with a query on one of my accounts.

Security questions :
ZA ID number : OK, answer given correctly.
Cellphone number : OK, answer given correctly.
On xx date you paid an invoice from Avis Car Rental, how much was that for? : OK, answer given correctly.
When did you purchase property at xxxxxx (an address in Kwa Zulu Natal that I'd never heard of)? : Never, this means nothing to me.
Do you have a store card with Ellerines? : No, I've never even bought anything from them (I think it's a downmarket clothing store)
Can you give me the amount of your last payment from your account to Truworths? : No, ditto as above.

"I'm sorry but you have failed the security questions."

After I insisted and said how stupid the questions were the lady went through some sensible questions which I was able to answer correctly and the problem was then resolved, but FFS!

Cape,
If it is any consolation, I've had the same problems with them.

They are asking some very strange 'security' questions these days.

[Capetonian]

Those questions were on the same lines as : "When did you stop watching child porn/beating your wife/stealing your neighbour's knickers off the washing line."

Bloody stupid, glad it's not just me.

[llondel]

I've had the occasional trick question thrown at me where the correct answer was along the lines of "never". I assume they think that fraudsters would try to make something up but the account holder would know that it's false. Either that or you really ought to go check your credit history in case someone is using your name for such accounts.