Royal Bank of Wankers

[CharlieOneSix]

For years I’ve been receiving two monthly emails from Nationwide telling me that statements for my current account and credit card are available to download. Some months ago I started getting letters saying the credit card emails were being returned as undeliverable.

Apparently it was all my fault as my email address was in capital letters rather than lower case. What rubbish! If it was in capitals then they did that and in any case(!) it makes no difference. Then they said my mailbox must be full. I don’t have a mailbox limit and all other emails reach me okay.

Still the monthly letters continue to arrive. It seems it’s impossible for them to instruct their computer to say no to keep sending out these letters, nor to sort out why they can send the monthly current account email but not the credit card one. I’m certainly not blocking it.

[llondel]

I had a similar experience with a couple of financial institutions. What confuses them is that my system is buttoned down tight and I never click on any of the links in the emails so none of their little trackers are working. They wrongly deduce that to mean that the stuff isn't getting through, rather than the fact that I practice good data security. I was receiving the emails just fine.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Natworst. Woke up this morning to find a text message telling me that my account ending in number XXX is about to go into overdraft wef 1st October.

Can't, For the last 30+ years my checking account, which pays no interest, has been automatically held at £100 daily, funds moved in and out as required from an interest bearing a/c, by the bank. 'twas all their idea at the start, and has saved me a lot of trouble. So why send that text ? A phishing scam perhaps, tho' no money or info. was requested ? Spent an hour on the website, useless "chat" with their robot, Cora, who didn't understand my questions. 5 digit International text number published refused to work, No e-mail address available so eventually bit the bullet and spent money on an International phone call. Oh, yes, even tho' your a/c is auto topped up, for the brief moment that it goes overdrawn before the auto top up, an auto. text is generated. Why now, this is the first time, can I expect many such texts now as my UK bills and affairs are conducted throughout each month ? Yes.

I don't believe it, and still think it is a scam. but my moan is mainly about the difficulty of communicating with Natworst. e.g. Can I have an e-mail to contact the branch that now holds my account, since you closed my original branch some time ago ? No, not allowed to talk to, or e-mail, your branch, why not pop around to discuss ? Did you note that I started this conversation by stating that I was talking to you from New Zealand ?

Yes, I can write to the relevant branch, but the present state of Covid delayed International snail mail is not conducive to an early resolution.

One could - and does - weep.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Ref: my post 423

Surprisingly I rec'd an e-mail early today confirming that the text I rec'd was genuine, and explaining that if a debit is made near the end of their Online working day, advised as 18.30, then the auto top up to prevent going into overdraft that I enjoy might not be actioned until the next working day, so "the system" detects an overdraft and sends a text automatically. I have asked if this is a new procedure, as this is the first time I have been subjected to this procedure, and if so wouldn't it have been nice to have been advised ? Regardless, it would seem that I am now to be harassed by the reception of many useless texts.

Left Hands and Right Hands ? Well done, Natworst.

[FD2]

I've had four branches of the RBS due to closures, soon to change its name to.....haha, and only finally got some action about being pestered from a Chatham 'team' and getting no response to my letters when I wrote to the new boss. It took years and fruitless letters to various branches and 'teams' which led to nothing and now I even know the address of my latest branch!

[ExSp33db1rd]

..........now I even know the address of my latest branch!

But you're not allowed to communicate with it, tho' you could drop in !!

[FD2]

Precisely!

[G-CPTN]

My local branch of B*rcl*ys (in the next town since our village branch closed) is running reduced hours (due to Covid!) and is closed all day Thursday and Saturday.
Probably a foretaste of what is to come?

[ExSp33db1rd]

Not the Royal Bank of ... but a California bank. Needed info. regarding an investment due to expire, so made the International telephone call. First of all the branch is closed Thursdays ( USA time ) due to Covid, so rang the Call Centre. Big mistake. First of all there was a prelim. in Spanish, which I didn't understand, but eventually an operator responded using a dialect - Mexican maybe ? ( Whoops, can't say that, Racist Hate Speech ) - at machine gun speed, so eventually, during the many security questions that I had to ask her to repeat, slowly, my wife, Californian familiar, started to prompt me, only for me to be roundly chastised for reciting security answers in front of a third party. Finally I got an e-mail with a code to repeat back, only to be told that she couldn't tell me the answer, I have to try again to phone the branch when they are open. At this my wife got on the line and asked what days that might be, to be told that she couldn't be given that information for "security reasons" i.e. not being the person who had passed the security questions - despite herself also being a bank customer too. Can't be told when a local branch might be open for security reasons ? World's Gone Mad. Have to try again during USA opening hours Friday local time.

[4mastacker]

Feckn Barclays. Tried to make a payment via the on-line banking and now locked out of my account. Have tried ringing the number given only to be told that there is at least a 40 minute wait after spending 10 minutes speaking to a machine and tapping in numbers. The on-line page keeps asking for codes for the emergency log-in - never been given them - local branch closed tomorrow. All I want to do is speak to a human being and get me account unlocked. Arrrgh!!!

[ribrash]

Feckn Barclays. Tried to make a payment via the on-line banking and now locked out of my account. Have tried ringing the number given only to be told that there is at least a 40 minute wait after spending 10 minutes speaking to a machine and tapping in numbers. The on-line page keeps asking for codes for the emergency log-in - never been given them - local branch closed tomorrow. All I want to do is speak to a human being and get me account unlocked. Arrrgh!!!

Try ringing back but don't speak to the machine or tap in any numbers.They will ask you a few times and then say they will put you through to an advisor.

[jimtherev]

Feckn Barclays. Tried to make a payment via the on-line banking and now locked out of my account. Have tried ringing the number given only to be told that there is at least a 40 minute wait after spending 10 minutes speaking to a machine and tapping in numbers. The on-line page keeps asking for codes for the emergency log-in - never been given them - local branch closed tomorrow. All I want to do is speak to a human being and get me account unlocked. Arrrgh!!!

Another way that usually works is hitting #####. Confuses many call-handling systems.

[Opsboi]

My local branch of B*rcl*ys (in the next town since our village branch closed) is running reduced hours (due to Covid!) and is closed all day Thursday and Saturday.
Probably a foretaste of what is to come?

No disrespect, but when you started banking they closed Mon-Fri at 3.30 and never even thought about opening on Saturdays

I'm surprised the bit in bold bothers you

[ian16th]

My local branch of B*rcl*ys (in the next town since our village branch closed) is running reduced hours (due to Covid!) and is closed all day Thursday and Saturday.
Probably a foretaste of what is to come?

No disrespect, but when you started banking they closed Mon-Fri at 3.30 and never even thought about opening on Saturdays

I'm surprised the bit in bold bothers you

But the number of people with a bank account was minimal.

The bulk of the working population received a weekly Pay Packet. We non-commissioned types in the RAF, had the sum to be received shouted out for everyone on the Sqdn to hear how much we were drawing. And the cash wasn't even put in a packet.

When I 1st produced a Chequebook in a shop, I was looked on as a valued client.

[4mastacker]

..............
The bulk of the working population received a weekly Pay Packet. We non-commissioned types in the RAF, had the sum to be received shouted out for everyone on the Sqdn to hear how much we were drawing. And the cash wasn't even put in a packet.

When I 1st produced a Chequebook in a shop, I was looked on as a valued client.

>>a bit of drift<<
I was dicked at short notice to go to an army barracks in Edinburgh to act as escort for an AWOL airman being RTU'd. Myself and the RAF plod who was i/c prisoner were the only (almost) sober blokes in the NAAFI that Saturday night. It was still dark the following morning when we were dumped at Ipswich railway station for the long journey ahead. Got to Edinburgh and was taken to the barracks(Redford?). Everything had been done at a rush and myself and the copper didn't have much cash on us so we asked the Orderly Sgt/Guard Commander at the barracks where we could cash a cheque. The bloke nearly had apoplexy - "Cheque??- You've got a cheque book? But you're only airmen. Private soldiers don't have cheque books, only officers have cheque books." The Orderly Officer arrived at the guardroom to sign the prisoner over to the plod and the O/S said "Sirrrr, they've got cheque books" as if it was some nasty disease. After explaining to the OO why we had cheque books (paid monthly into the bank and thus light years ahead of the Army), the OO rang the Officers Mess and we were escorted to the back door where a steward exchanged our cheques for cash. For the journey back to Suffolk we were given "rations" in a grot bag which contained a cheese sandwich of dubious age, a badly bruised apple and a mini-packet of Naafi chocolate bourbon biscuits (how I hate those things) which was promptly dropped in a bin at Waverley Station - we used our recently obtained cash to purchase something more slightly edible from the BR buffet on the platform.

[ian16th]

Army food was best avoided.

I only had one experience of it. While in Boys service at Yatesbury, we played Rugby against the Army Apprentices at Arborfield (sp).
After the game, when changing, one of the Army guys was going on about the wonderful meal we would get, as it was 'special' for the rugby players.

It was Egg & Chips!

[4mastacker]

Agree about Army food - any more comment would be too much thread drift.

[Undried Plum]

Continuing the thread drift for a moment - while I desperately try to think of a connection to the absolute wankerness of that ****q George Matthewson - I do recall that my Army counterparts when I was a Catman in Oman had an enormous quantity of Army Rum

G-10, I think it was called . Came in 2 gallon ceramic flagons, I seem to recall.

My Battmen were immensely ingenious in ways of ordering vast quantities to be flown from Brize Norton on the monthly, or perhaps weekly, supply flight.

The Royal Bank of Wankers couldn't organise that sort of thing nowadays.

[Ex-Ascot]

I am trying to get a personal manager which they are refusing as we are abroad. However how about this:

Thank you for your reply to my email. On a personal note, thank you for your service to your country
and I am also aware of your other achievements having come across your name in the past when me
and my partner were looking at holidays in Greece. A random internet search came up with two books
you had written, if I remember correctly, that you had written which also included a precis of your
personal history. My own brother served with the Navy for many years, including in the Falklands, so
understand the need to be flexible.

Then he goes on to say no.

[ExSp33db1rd]

e-mail today from Barclays advising that they no longer require my 40 year plus custom due to my not having a UK address. This w.e.f April next year. Tried to check my balance Online, and having completed all their questions and "secret" codes they actually sent me a mobile text code, then told me to Foxtrot Oscar 'cos they couldn't recognise me from the various bits of data that I had provided up until then. Who do they think that they sent the text to then ? Haven't tried telephone banking yet, don't want to speak to someone in Lower Uzbekistan, and anyway, when I applied for that they sent me a "secret" code and three days later another letter enclosing a different "secret" code, so which one should I use ?

Remember when one walked into the local branch and inhaled the pleasant smell of polished mahogany, and the clerk didn't say "what sort of a day have you had" ? but merely said "Good Morning Mr. XXXX " ( 'cos they recognised a valued customer )

Currently drafting a letter giving them my opinion of them, that will probably take until next April to travel across the World ?

Barstewards.