Royal Bank of Wankers

[Ex-Ascot]

See 54 RBS branches to close. Includes our in Altrincham. Bit of a bugger because I have the bank manager there under control. One e-mail and he jumps. I presume they will just move us to the nearest branch. Don't know how they are going inform us of this we will only get our post in April.

ExA
It might be worth your while to chat to your tame manager.
If he is moving to another branch, move your accounts to that same branch.

It's years since I had a tame bank manager, it was in a Leeds branch of Barclay's, but such an assett is worth his weight in gold.

Yes indeed, I had that idea. 19th Jan for Altrincham will contact him November. Bet you a pound to a pintch of ***** you have to present yourself in person at the branch.

[Boac]

I don't think you can actually 'contact' a bank manager these days - you normally have to ring a central number to make an appointment to visit an 'advisor' who probably won't be the manager since he/she is probably at another branch he/she manages or never ACTUALLY works in 'the branch'.

Good luck!

[Slasher]

But is she not usually sitting on it ?

I might have thought that the other end of her torso would attract you more ?

Well yes ExSp33d...but she does get up now and then from her chair to go walkabout around the branch.

She's an attractive thing - pretty face, lythe bod - but not up to my boobocity stsndard.

A captain who was an Indian JS pal of mine when I flew in SQ had taught me the finer points and appreciation of the female buttock form... among other things!

[Ex-Ascot]

Boac, I can and actually do contact my bank manager by his personal e-mail. Excellent staff there. Phoned them once at the branch from Greece and a cashier said that she understood that my father was coming out to see us he had just been in to collect his euros. He once withdrew a massive sterling amount getting his zeros mixed up. They phoned my brother he prised the dosh off him and put it back in the vault. All this is going to end.

May actually e-mail the manager tomorrow and say how tragic it is and ask him what is going to happen to himself and his staff.

[Boac]

That's lucky ex-A, and very unusual. Fingers crossed.

[CharlieOneSix]

That's lucky ex-A, and very unusual. Fingers crossed.

Yes, very unusual, it's usually an allocated relationship manager nowadays. With the title of this thread I almost hesitate to mention this but Mrs C16 was one of the last old style RBS branch bank managers. She started on the counter in Cumbernauld at the age of 17 and stayed with the bank until ill health forced early retirement in the 90's when she was 43. She managed the branch in Gibraltar at one stage when they had a tie up with Santander Bank. On her retirement she was responsible for 5 branches in Glasgow and surrounds. She is just as appalled as anyone at the antics of Fred the Shred and others and is relieved she wasn't part of the 2008+ fiasco. She cringes at the RBS TV advert in these parts when, after all the branch closures, they have the nerve to say they are the Royal Bank FOR Scotland.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Do Natwest Bank employ those who can't read ?

I recently received a letter from Natwest, Customer Support Team, Chatham, explaining that they have tried to contact me to ensure that I will receive Alerts on my mobile phone, but they had been unsuccessful as I appear to have given them the wrong cellphone number, or I've given them an International number that they cannot use, so please provide them with a number starting +44. as they can’t provide this service to an International number.

They then sent that letter to my New Zealand address !

I replied to that with a semi-polite note pointing out that I cannot provide a UK number, 'cos I live in New Zealand, and the one that, along with the International Code +64 for NZ, recorded on my "profile" as once demanded, is not incorrect, but if they cannot ( read - don't want to ) use it that's not my fault.

They then sent the identical letter again. That time I “edited” in red on their original my pointed comments to their statements, and sent it back.

Today I have received the third identical letter. I have just used the red pen again, this time with less than polite comments. Doesn’t anyone, can anyone, read there ?

[ian16th]

I've had enough of Barclays International.

We are now in the process of moving to the Offshore arm of a SA bank.

They are expensive, but at least they understand local conditions.

[Undried Plum]

I cannot provide a UK number

Skype will sell you a UK landline number, with the STD code of your choice, for £42 a year.

With their app on your Android or iPhone, incoming calls to that number will go straight through to your mobile. The Wankers will be none the wiser.

[Capetonian]

"to ensure that I will receive Alerts on my mobile phone,"

That won't work with Skype, it has to be a cellular number (I think) and not landline to receive texts.

[Undried Plum]

Ah, yes. I see what you mean. I misunderstood as some outfits demand a landline number for "security purposes".

If a UK mobile phone is overseas on a "roaming" connection, do texts get blocked?

[Capetonian]

"If a UK mobile phone is overseas on a "roaming" connection, do texts get blocked?"
If roaming is operative, texts will go through, but I have found that it's not reliable or consistent. Years years ago I was in the carbuncle on the arsehole of the planet and I found that I could receive texts on my ZA cellphone but if I sent them, they wouldn't go through.
Roaming between providers is network dependent, so a phone with a SIM from GB network 'X' might only work in Spain on networks A and B but not C and D.

[OFSO]

Does anyone still use texts ?

When we left the appalling Vodaphone UK and moved to "3", the latter advertised that all the things on the SIM card would work everywhere and at the same price (ten pounds a month, unlimited texts and data). Yes, they do. No problems, ever, anywhere.

[ExSp33db1rd]

The Wankers will be none the wiser.

But I'll be 42 quid lighter - and THEY want to call ME, let THEM sort it out..THEIR problem.

[Ex-Ascot]

Forgot to send e-mail to my Bank Manager until yesterday. The reply less than 24 hours later:

Paul,

Thank you for your email, it is very much appreciated.

It was an emotional week last week, having to announce the closure of a branch that I have worked at on and off for 18 years. We pride ourselves on the personal service to our customers and I am glad we have been able to offer that to you for many years.

I will more than likely be leaving the organisation but will be around until January so if you do require anything then please don't hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards,
Wayne Earlam
Bank Manager | Branch Banking | Royal Bank of Scotland | Altrincham | 161211

Bastard used to call me 'Sir'. Yes well, standards are definitely slipping.

However hope that is proof that there are some genuine Bank Managers out there.

[Capetonian]

I use to go out for drinks and pizza with my Banking Relationship Manager in Jersey. Those were the days, she was a lovely Irish girl.

Slasher would have approved!

[Boac]

Cape - did you leave a deposit?

[Capetonian]

Gentlemen, Good Sir, do not discuss such intimate matters.
I do remember her telling me about losing interest after withdrawal though.

[ian16th]

I had a good relationship with my branch manager in Leeds, before I knew he was a bank manager!

My desk was in the same building as the bank branch. The branch being at street level. I was on the 3rd floor.

We used to drink in the same pub at lunch time.

When I found out his job, I transfered our accounts to a drinking buddy!

[OFSO]

Needing to pay a substantial debt I wrote to Barclays, what is called a 'holographic letter' requesting same. They telephoned me this morning asking me to read substantial parts of the letter over the bloody insecure phone ! Wankers. Also Barclays (and all other banks) I wish you would stop employing Indians for phone contact. Nice chaps and wizard at face-to-face problem-solving, but how do I know they are genuine bank employees on the phone.