Royal Bank of Wankers

[AtomKraft]

Hmmm.
I think you're right.
I imagine televising the public execution of these utter twats using your fiendishly eco-friendly dispatcher would set new records for viewing figures.

Why don't you write to the BBC?

[ian16th]

Hmmm.
I think you're right.
I imagine televising the public execution of these utter twats using your fiendishly eco-friendly dispatcher would set new records for viewing figures.

Why don't you write to the BBC?

ITV would be better.

Imagine the bidding war for the advertising space on the blade!

The director ordering the cameraman to tightly zoom into the blade for the 10 second countdown!

The commentator and the crowd going 10, 9, 8,...........

[Boac]

A battle between Wilkinson Sword and Gillette for sponsorship rights - this could go far, but I fear will be for the chop as budgets are cut.

[barkingmad]

But millions could be made for good causes using my ‘joker’ device which arrests the blade’s travel just inches ( not centimetres!) from the neck of the chosen victim.
The deployment of the ‘safety’ device would be randomised using an ‘Ernie’ type of computer random generator and the ITV viewers would be encouraged to lay bets on whom would be spared.
Survivors would then be fed back into the banking system having undergone a miraculous transformation in their attitude towards the (knitting) peasantry?
Any other suggestions as to how to liven up the proceedings will be gratefully received and considered.

[Boac]

I feel this 'isolation' is not sitting well with you?

[barkingmad]

My so far impotent rage against bankers, politicians and corporate CEOs has been seething since long before this thread really took off.
The list of candidatee for the rapid weight-loss solution grows longer by the week.
Your irritation at ‘dePiffle’ and his subordinates in Downing Street is akin to my psychosis at present!
And does not my proposition offer a ready alternative to the National Lottery and ping pong balls rattling around in a Perspex tube?

[Boac]

"Your irritation at ‘dePiffle’ and his subordinates in Downing Street is akin to my psychosis at present!"

Gulp - I didn't realise I was that poorly.

[barkingmad]

"Your irritation at ‘dePiffle’ and his subordinates in Downing Street is akin to my psychosis at present!"

Gulp - I didn't realise I was that poorly.

With the right treatment it is curable. So my therapist has assured me.

[barkingmad]

Following on from post # 378, imagine my surprise when today’s MSM news is highlighting the unwillingness of the loot-swillers to release some of OUR hard-earned dosh in order to help the economic system survive;



GREEDY BASTARDS! ! Repeat dose as required. It’s one of the clearest examples of corporate psychopathy as discussed elsewhere. Judging from some of the posted comments underneath this video I am not the only one angry enough to be calling for harsh penalties for these criminals.

[Rwy in Sight]

Button cell battery sizes are strangely logical, CR2032, C means Lithium (OK, less logical), R means Round, 20 is the diameter in mm, and 32 means it is 3.2mm thick.

Didn't know that.

You can do the same with AA and AAA batteries - use the smaller ones and add some aluminium foil.

Relevant here; I didn't use the codes at a bank and now I have to go a branch where flow control of customers is implemented to ask for a new set of e-banking codes and they will charge me again 5 €.

[Boac]

Button cell battery sizes are strangely logical

time for further education, oh knowledgeable one: SR41?

I lurv thread drift..................... We'll have BM complaining soon (more...).

[k3k3]

That is the exception to prove the rule, and I haven't the foggiest why they call that battery that or any of its other thirty aliases.

[ian16th]

Button cell battery sizes are strangely logical

time for further education, oh knowledgeable one: SR41?

I lurv thread drift..................... We'll have BM complaining soon (more...).

It has some fascinating applications!

[Boac]

Hmrph! I bow to your specialised knowledge, ian, and look at your sexual activities anew! Forced, as I was, to Goggle it and now have on order (purely for scientific research, of course, to see what enjoyment you or yours obtain from it)

www.amazon.co.uk/Screaming-Ling-Vibrati ... B001JEPCSG

[barkingmad]

Dear Sir, I wish to complain about the frequent thread drift on this forum. Let's get away from batteries and back to more important tools e g ;



However, it may not be wise to combine the use of the toothbrush but that depends on.........

[Boac]

Dear 'Angry of Tunbridge Wells'

The editor wishes to apologise for the earlier article which slipped through our rigorous checks. We do hope you will excuse the lapse and continue subscribing to 'House and Home'. Do check next month's edition which will 'come' with a surprise gift (batteries not included).

[llondel]

Next time, for there will surely be one, the government should let the bank collapse and spend the money compensating the depositors in accordance with relevant schemes. Those with lots of money will lose out (schemes tend to be capped), but it might encourage them to pay a lot more attention to what their next bank is doing.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Bloody Natworst.

Natworst recently required me to lodge a Mobile phone number to be sent a 2FA text code number as they were about to make that system compulsory for future Online access to accounts. Did that. Yesterday, for the first time since complying, I was denied entry until I had received the text. An incomplete version of my number was shown, to confirm that they had presumably got the right one ? Yes. It never came. Tried again, no result. Not wishing to be locked out forever after a third failed attempt, I decided to go for the Change Mobile Number option and completed that. Their auto system for advising a new number required a pre-loaded page to be completed, the first entry being "Country". On accessing THEIR attached drop-down menu of available countries, New Zealand was selected and then the correct Country code of 64 was auto entered into THEIR presented box, after which I added the rest of my number. ( dropping the first zero, as is required for inbound International dialling reception. ) Still denied access.

Eventually got involved with some sort of robot digital keyboard chat system, which couldn't understand my simple question, ie. why wasn't my mobile number being sent a code as per the system ? Eventually the robot named Cora ( I think ? ) gave up and told me to wait for a live Agent. She, for it bore a female name, took a long time to decide that I was who I was claiming to be, and then said .. " but you haven't preceeded your number with 00 . WTF ? If UK callers need to add 00 to the front of any International number, and no advice to this effect is posted on THEIR website. HTF am I supposed to know ? and also, if they auto complete their own form by auto posting 64 (in my case) in THEIR box, why don't they also automatically add the 00 that THEY know is required ? e.g. 0064 after which I just add my own number. QED ?

Eventually the Agent said that she had amended my number to include the compulsory 00, but .... edited numbers could not be used for three days after any change ! One could weep.

[Capetonian]

You have my sympathy, these robotic chats are as much use as a chocolate teapot, they usually take you round in circles. I'd rather deal with an Indian call centre any time.

I have similar once with NatWorst on the card verification, with putting in a +27 (ZA) number.

This is why I now have an alternative bank account, in the UK with Nationwide, and for my EUR banking I use AIB (Ireland). With both of them you call and the call is taken by an intelligent helpful English speaking human being, in Swindon or Dublin respectively.

What is really infuriating is that all this is for 'our' security and to protect 'our' money, but the effing Niggerian crooks etc seem to be able to cruise through it all, which makes me wonder if banks shouldn't be employing them, but that might like putting an alcoholic in charge of a bottle store.

[Hydromet]

What is really infuriating is that all this is for 'our' security and to protect 'our' money, but the effing Niggerian crooks etc seem to be able to cruise through it all, which makes me wonder if banks shouldn't be employing them, but that might like putting an alcoholic in charge of a bottle store.

Are you sure they haven't?