Royal Bank of Wankers

[OFSO]

There's a TV advert for a certain high street bank currently running in the UK which develops the theme of how many of "you out there" suffers from some kind of mental illness and comes up with the figure of one in four of the public "and that applies to us too". From my dealings with UK banks over the past 50 years I'd say not 25% - ALL their staff are round the twist and have to be to work there.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Slash ... at least you can pop down to Singers, I still have SIN bank accounts and suffer the same problem .... in New Zealand. Imagine.

[Slasher]

Yeh it's a bastard ExSp33d. But don't forget thinking outside the box is not a Singaporean's forte, and exacerbated further by being a damn bank employee.

[reddo]

**** RB dozy S branch at Milton bloody Keynes. I run the accounts (Trustee etc) for our work union. We have 2 accounts, Sterling and Euro. As the Sterling is a Trustee, i can't get a bank card (so they say) so I can't do stuff online etc. The Euro account is a business account but for some obscure reason I can't bank online.. So over the years I've learnt all the hacks so I can be in and out of the bank in under 15 minutes.

Until yesterday. 90 **** minutes and achieved a sum total of Zero.

All I wanted to do was pay a very big Sterling invoice from the Sterling account. RBS to HSBC and pay an Euro invoice from the Euro account.

I have absolutely no idea why the bank person failed to achieve either objectives. I do hope she was having a particularly bad day because the competence level was pretty low.
The wrong paper work was printed out, although, it might have been the right one? Who knows? I suspect she was confusing herself so whenever she had a phone conversation it just went pear shaped. When she was discussing the process for the Euro transfer, several times I had to intervene as she was muddled about what I was trying to do.

In the end I gave up, walked out and wrote a cheque for the Sterling transaction and have put the Euro transaction on hold for a week. I did phone the Business centre and in 5 minutes I had the procedure to follow to do a Euro transfer. 5 minutes.

It's a double edged sword, the branches are closing but when you go to the branch you can't get what you need!!!

[flynverted]

I assume you're not going to Orchard Towers in SIN??? I hear that's a popular hangout for pilots.... But I wouldn't know...

Every payday I take about 80% of my pay and buy gold or silver. Both are dirt cheap now. Also keep a wad of cash in me safe at home... Just keep enough in the bank to get me by til next payday...
When I sell the gold and silver it doesn't have to be reported as income, so no taxes paid!
My momma didn't raise no fool... ;)

I'll have to duck over and down to my bank in Singapore because trying to hash out all the requested updates from 'em won't work on their silly online forms. The W-8 form alone is ***** as they don't understand the concept of non-resident alien (subsequently it's not on their bloody options!). It's either go down there or my account risks being frozen. Stoopid shitheads.

[Capetonian]

A month after my NatWest credit card was cloned, these incompetents have not yet managed to get me a replacement which works. They have sent out 5 different cards, with different account numbers, assuring me and the local NatWorst branch in each case that it was the correct one and would have the same PIN. They have then advised that successively, each of the first 4 cards was not working. On Saturday I went to get the fifth, which was handed to me by the manager with a fanfare. We put it in the ATM and I entered the PIN and it says 'incorrect PIN'. Went to the shops and tried to make a small purchase using contactless. "Card not valid".

I am disappointed that today is bank holiday as I have to save up the update of the ongoing complaint for another 24 hours. I have something to look forward, but I feel sorry for whoever answers that phone tomorrow morning! We are up to the 'Complex Frauds Complaint' level and I think the compensation is up to £400. It's a game to see if I can beat my record when I got Lloyds to give me £1000 for a series of cockups, including losing two sets of certified documents.

By the way I give the money to charity when I win these things. This lot is going to Alzheimers Research as I was going to do a sponsored walk in Belfast but had to cancel it as logistically it didn't fit well between two other trips (which I'd forgotten about!)

[Boac]

Paul Pester, CEO of TSB, has 'stood down' following the disastrous IT cock-up in April. He takes away £1.2M +£480,000 in shares/bonuses. I gather there was another 'glitch' this weekend rendering folk account-less.

Away to pester someone else, no doubt.

[G-CPTN]

It amazes me that people who leave their jobs after a less-than-successful period of responsibility seem to qualify for significant golden goodbyes and then seem to walk into well-paid alternative employment.

[Undried Plum]

[ExSp33db1rd]

Just had a letter from Natwest, apparently they have had difficulty telephoning me on the mobile number that they requested for me some time ago, suggested that I go into the website and update my number against my profile. Did as I was told and found that the number listed for me is the one that I have had for at least two years now, i.e. all correct. Don't they understand how to dial a telephone number now. Akcherly ... I don't care, I don't want to be bothered with their text messages anyway, I don't live with my cellphone hanging around my neck. Go away.

[G-CPTN]

the number listed for me is the one that I have had for at least two years now, i.e. all correct. Don't they understand how to dial a telephone number now.

Are they using the appropriate prefix from wherever they are calling?

[Woody]

The chance of them working out the time difference is nil

[ExSp33db1rd]

Don't care, their problem, have sent back their letter to that effect. That'l learn 'em !

[Ex-Ascot]

See 54 RBS branches to close. Includes our in Altrincham. Bit of a bugger because I have the bank manager there under control. One e-mail and he jumps. I presume they will just move us to the nearest branch. Don't know how they are going inform us of this we will only get our post in April.

[Capetonian]

I suspect that my relationship with NatWest (=RBS) is drawing to an end after the monstrous stuff up their card division has made over the issuance of a replacement card after mine was used fraudulently at the end of July. They have written me a 5 page letter detailing their numerous errors and I have still not got the PIN for the latest of the 5 cards they have issued, 4 erroneously, on the account.

I have opened accounts with another bank and am directing inward payment to that bank and will gradually run down the NatWest one and close it when it suits me to do so.

When something fails to arrive in normal first class post you cannot use that as proof that it wasn't sent, but the presumption is strong, in other words I think they have lied to me as they say they sent it on 26th. August.

Interestingly though I spoke to my lawyers yesterday and they told me that something posted first class within in the UK is considered as served after two working days, in this case it's a letter before action against a scumbag who owes me £5000 in rental arrears and dilapidations.

[ian16th]

See 54 RBS branches to close. Includes our in Altrincham. Bit of a bugger because I have the bank manager there under control. One e-mail and he jumps. I presume they will just move us to the nearest branch. Don't know how they are going inform us of this we will only get our post in April.

ExA
It might be worth your while to chat to your tame manager.
If he is moving to another branch, move your accounts to that same branch.

It's years since I had a tame bank manager, it was in a Leeds branch of Barclay's, but such an assett is worth his weight in gold.

[Boac]

I am awaiting a complaint resolution by LLoyds on the handling of a society account for which I am treasurer.

Way back in July I stumbled through a 17 page form required by HMRC to establish 'tax residency'. In August LLoyds asked me to re-submit as I had 'made a mistake'. I asked for a copy of my form so I could see where I had gone wrong. In response, a letter from a nameless person saying

"I can now confirm with you that the controlling person indicated on the form is not consistent with the information held on the record".

I patiently explained that I am not conversant in Greek and made a further (two) requests for a form copy. On each occasion the same letter returned. I finally 'escalated' this to a higher floor. Yesterday I was informed it was a 'bank error' and happened because the 'Business department' in LLoyds had not responded to an enquiry from the relevant department in LLoyds within 10 days. This had 'automatically' triggered the request for a new form completion. It now transpires that the reason I was repeatedly getting the same ridiculous and unhelpful letter is that it was 'automatically triggered' from a stock of boiler-plate letters and was 'the closest' they could find to the situation.

Hmm.

[Slasher]

I have the bank manager there under control. One e-mail and he jumps.

We have the same back home at our local Thai bank branch. We don't do any heavy financials there but the 40yo managerette helps out whenever she can - like all that FATCA and 'No I'm Not American' crap I had to do online. She assisted by remote control.

Plus she has a cute bum.

[Capetonian]

Until my recent debacle with NatWest, I thought Lloyds was the most incompetent bank I'd ever dealt with.

Here is a very truncated version of the letter I wrote to the Executive Director and Group CEO of Lloyds. This netted £500 each for two worthwhile UK charities, RNLI and Teenage Cancer Charity Trust. The Ombudsman, FCA, and press were not interested as they said I had achieved as much as they would have been able to achieve on my behalf.

Early in February I started the process of opening a new small business account for my consultancy.

I am writing to let you know how abysmal the service from Lloyds has been, and how disappointing the whole process has been. It seems clear that you invest large sums of money in training your front-line staff, and on extensive media advertising, but this all becomes worthless when a potential customer is treated as I have been.

The sequence of events is as follows.

The account mandate was sent referring to my co-director as 'Mr. Suzanne xxxx'. This you may blame on a 'computer error' but the information was input by a person and by no stretch of the imagination is 'Suzanne' a man's name. I wasted further time on the 'phone with your call centre and was assured that this would be corrected, only to have the documents sent back a few days later, again showing the name as 'Mr. Suzanne xxxxx.' I would be interested to hear how, or if, you can defend such staggering incompetency.

I took identity documents for certified copies to be made, into the xxxxxx Branch. A couple of weeks later, enquiring as to the progress of my account opening, I was advised that the copies had been 'lost' without trace. I would have thought that it would be part of the duty of care of a bank towards customers to take good care of confidential documents. The person concerned was extremely apologetic about this and I am not even mentioning names as it is not my intent to blame any individual for the staggering incompetency to which I have been exposed, since I believe these multiple failures, and the subsequent ones, are due to endemic inefficiency throughout your organisation.

I would have thought that losing confidential documents once would be about the worst that a bank could inflict on a customer, but it gets worse.

On the morning of Thursday 10th. April, I took my documents to your Chester branch, again for certified copies to be made.

( ..... details of various calls which were not returned ... etc .... I logged names of each person I spoke to over a 3 week period.)

I have been offered 'compensation' of £231 for the expense and inconvenience to which I have been subjected. I do not intend to accept this as it is derisory and in no way offsets the aggravation I have endured at the hands of your organisation, the time I have wasted, and the costs to me. If I were to ask you in real terms to compensate, just for my time, this would run into well over £1000 plus costs. What I therefore require is that Lloyds Bank makes, on my behalf, a donation to a recognised
UK charity of at least £1000.

Your complaints department have been a major part of the problem rather than part of the solution, and as yet, the solution is not forthcoming.

I do not recall ever having been treated in such a monumentally incompetent, disrespectful and unprofessional manner by any organisation anywhere in the world.

In the first instance, and before taking this to the Banking Ombudsman, national press, and consumer organisations, I await your comments.

Yours faithfully

xxxxxxx

Summary
• Almost three months since I began the account opening process, the account is still not
open due entirely to incompetency.
• Account opening documents sent out twice with the same major error in a name.
• Two sets of identification documents lost by separate branches.
• Appalling handling of complaints, lack of information, courtesy, and professionalism.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Plus she has a cute bum

But is she not usually sitting on it ?

I might have thought that the other end of her torso would attract you more ?

I have a helpful manager of a USA bank, too. She recently advised that my new credit card had been sent back, had I changed my address?
In fact my address has changed been modified slightly since I opened the account, same place but the local gestapo have added a word to the title of my street, many haven't upgraded their address books, friends and businesses alike, but no matter the local post deliverer knows of the change.

I sent back copies of correspondence received before and after the time the new card was produced, showing that they had used both the modified address, and also sometimes ignored this proving that A) I had advised them of the small change, and B) On 2 out of 3 occasions they had ignored my advice, but the letters had still arrived, so why not the card ?

My friendly manager admits that they had used the new format, but totally missed adding the words - New Zealand !! Which strengthens my opinion that inhabitants of the USA have no idea that anything exists West of Los Angeles, or East of New York.