The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[Boac]

Is it back to front 'cos its Australian?

[EA01]

Yes, it repels the virus by way of confusion ....

[TheGreenGoblin]

One has spent a considerable part of of one's life wearing a whistle. This is one of my aircraft-selling attires

Who couldn't fail to be beguiled into purchasing another 20 stretched versions of the BarnBurner 500 by such a well turned out sales executive!

And as I am an African, "where's the brown paper envelope?"

[EA01]

I'm a Queenslander, in days gone by Brown paper bags figured heavily here too!

Nowadays it is a Nation of 'soft corruption'.....

[Pinky the pilot]

Have not owned or worn a Suit in 40 years!

With any luck that will not change either.

[Wodrick]

I last wore a suit, which was old, to get married 13 years ago. It was a marginal fit then. Needs to go to the charity shop now.

[tango15]

One has spent a considerable part of of one's life wearing a whistle. This is one of my aircraft-selling attires

Who couldn't fail to be beguiled into purchasing another 20 stretched versions of the BarnBurner 500 by such a well turned out sales executive!

And as I am an African, "where's the brown paper envelope?"

Ah, yes, the brown paper envelope - it's in the post...Just the envelope you understand, nothing else

You are not, of course, insinuating that such exchanges took place are you, Mr GG? Remember you are under oath

Actually, the most expensive 146 we ever sold was to Robert Mugabe - no surprise there then! I hasten to add that I was not involved in such shenanigans. One tried to avoid Africa altogether, but I came close to having to go to Angola a few times because of my knowledge of Portuguese, but inevitably something more important cropped up!

[TheGreenGoblin]

One has spent a considerable part of of one's life wearing a whistle. This is one of my aircraft-selling attires

Who couldn't fail to be beguiled into purchasing another 20 stretched versions of the BarnBurner 500 by such a well turned out sales executive!

And as I am an African, "where's the brown paper envelope?"

Ah, yes, the brown paper envelope - it's in the post...

Ah, which in Africa means, in the very unlikely event that you did put it in the post, that it has been stolen by now!

[TheGreenGoblin]

One has spent a considerable part of of one's life wearing a whistle. This is one of my aircraft-selling attires

Who couldn't fail to be beguiled into purchasing another 20 stretched versions of the BarnBurner 500 by such a well turned out sales executive!

And as I am an African, "where's the brown paper envelope?"

Ah, yes, the brown paper envelope - it's in the post...Just the envelope you understand, nothing else

You are not, of course, insinuating that such exchanges took place are you, Mr GG? Remember you are under oath

Actually, the most expensive 146 we ever sold was to Robert Mugabe - no surprise there then! I hasten to add that I was not involved in such shenanigans. One tried to avoid Africa altogether, but I came close to having to go to Angola a few times because of my knowledge of Portuguese, but inevitably something more important cropped up!

Very wise to steer clear of the Dark Continent tango15. As for Angola, my ex-wife in Cape Town lives next door to a lady whose engineer husband simply disappeared in Angola. He was finally declared, presumed, dead last year, after 5 years agonised waiting by the poor lady.

[tango15]

Who couldn't fail to be beguiled into purchasing another 20 stretched versions of the BarnBurner 500 by such a well turned out sales executive!

And as I am an African, "where's the brown paper envelope?"

Ah, yes, the brown paper envelope - it's in the post...Just the envelope you understand, nothing else

You are not, of course, insinuating that such exchanges took place are you, Mr GG? Remember you are under oath

Actually, the most expensive 146 we ever sold was to Robert Mugabe - no surprise there then! I hasten to add that I was not involved in such shenanigans. One tried to avoid Africa altogether, but I came close to having to go to Angola a few times because of my knowledge of Portuguese, but inevitably something more important cropped up!

Very wise to steer clear of the Dark Continent tango15. As for Angola, my ex-wife in Cape Town lives next door to a lady whose engineer husband simply disappeared in Angola. He was finally declared, presumed, dead last year, after 5 years agonised waiting by the poor lady.

Yes, I heard such stories when I spent a lot of time in Lisboa. A team did go down with the venerable 748 and survived, but no business. I think Angola was a bit too big for the 748. Dunno about the 146, though; never heard of anyone going there with the four-engined bomber.

[TheGreenGoblin]

Yes, I heard such stories when I spent a lot of time in Lisboa. A team did go down with the venerable 748 and survived, but no business. I think Angola was a bit too big for the 748. Dunno about the 146, though; never heard of anyone going there with the four-engined bomber.

Somebody managed to sell a "slightly used" Convair 880 and a brand new airport, unused for years, to Lennox Sebe who was the titular ruler of the Ciskei (homeland) during the Apartheid years.......

https://www.ops-normal.org/viewtopic.ph ... 62#p281262

[handsfree]

I think this gentleman would go down well in the Crewroom

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/ ... r-decades/
Hopefully not behind a paywall.

[OFSO]

Plumbers here. Nice lads. Opened up ceiling, said previous repair in 2019 was poor, hence it leaked again. I never got a bill for that one, OTOH I'd have preferred to have paid and have a proper job done.

NB. Two guys came, saw job, one started prepping while the other went off to get parts. Why two guys are better than one....

[TheGreenGoblin]

I think this gentleman would go down well in the Crewroom

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/ ... r-decades/
Hopefully not behind a paywall.

https://www.thenationalnews.com/world/e ... in-cellar/

In addition to a 1943 Panzer tank, he also kept an 88mm anti-aircraft gun, a torpedo, a mortar, 70 assault rifles and over 2,000 rounds of ammunition in the basement of his private villa in Heikendorf, a wealthy suburb of Kiel in northern Germany.

£43,000 fine! Seems a bit harsh. I wonder what they would make of the thermonuclear weapon I am crafting in my shed?

Shades of Rick and Morty I know...

[Ex-Ascot]

Evening folks. Don't know if mentioned our nearest neighbours with breeze block house and tin roof want a thatched roof like ours. They would also like the stone walls like wot we have but that would require a bulldozer job. Their solution is to build a huge thatch shelter over the breeze block shack and connect it all up. This is going to be a extremely expensive (which they can afford) long and noisy project. We are here all day so we are expected to put up with the noise of the gang of 11 men camping next to them in the bush working all day. It is her idea and her money. Husband (S.A.) is away most of the time and couldn't give a stuff. She can't stand the noise so goes out to visit friends all day. As soon as she leaves at about 09.00 they down tools and we have a nice peaceful day. She comes back at 17.00 and we have noise for just an hour until 18.00 when official work stops for a nice peaceful sun downers. Why do we call her 'Brain of the Netherlands'?

She has allowed to be plumbed into their camp, water from her solar geyser, and wonders why she can't get a hot shower for herself

Big hippo party going on right out front. Expecting a noisy night. When hippos party, they party.

[OFSO]

Post 32623. Two guys, two hours work, parts and labour €53. I'll restore the ceiling myself.

[ricardian]

Have not owned or worn a Suit in 40 years!
With any luck that will not change either.

I wore a (cheap) suit when I got married in 1975 but ever since I've worn sports jacket & corduroy or moleskin trousers. When I was promoted in the civil service my boss let it be known that I should wear a suit & tie. I let it be known that I would never wear a suit again having spent 12 years in a light blue outfit (and occasional KD) but I decided to wear a cravat on special occasions

[PHXPhlyer]

I think this gentleman would go down well in the Crewroom

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/ ... r-decades/
Hopefully not behind a paywall.

https://www.thenationalnews.com/world/e ... in-cellar/

In addition to a 1943 Panzer tank, he also kept an 88mm anti-aircraft gun, a torpedo, a mortar, 70 assault rifles and over 2,000 rounds of ammunition in the basement of his private villa in Heikendorf, a wealthy suburb of Kiel in northern Germany.

£43,000 fine! Seems a bit harsh. I wonder what they would make of the thermonuclear weapon I am crafting in my shed?

Shades of Rick and Morty I know...

Only 2,000 rounds for 70 assault rifles?
Not enough for a full mag for each one.
I have a much better ratio for mine, however I am short on the other armaments.
A tank would be nice to have here, would make road rage incidents easier to manage.

PP

[TheGreenGoblin]

Only 2,000 rounds for 70 assault rifles?
Not enough for a full mag for each one.
I have a much better ratio for mine, however I am short on the other armaments.
A tank would be nice to have here, would make road rage incidents easier to manage.

PP

The torpedo did make me laugh!

[Boac]

Maybe his Keller flooded occasionally? A real Königskuchen.