The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[603DX]

Heavy and substantial rain all day yesterday in west Wales, this morning it may or not be raining, can't determine due to the impenetrable sea mist

I sometimes think of Wales as a reliable part of England's utilities supply, acting as a handy sponge to soak up the frequent wet weather fronts coming in from the Atlantic, then to either pipe it across the border, or contribute useful hydro-electric power from the helpful effects of gravity. The expensive rock-blasting which enabled construction of the Dinorwig pumped storage hydro scheme would never have been worthwhile, had the persistent skyfall not been a feature of the geographic undulations of Welsh Wales. And the first employment of the similarly undulating Carol Vorderman as a newly qualified civil engineer on that project would not have taken place. I wonder what happened to her?

[Wodrick]

I've just come off on-line chat with them, they are issuing a revised DD as I am ahead of the game, then they will issue a new plan.
I'm now trying to find where the machine has saves the txt file !

[Ex-Ascot]

We are supposed to pay our satellite internet down south monthly. I said I wanted to pay annually in advance due to bank charges. No bill for two years now. I have given up getting on to them. We now owe them 2,000$. Hate owing money.

Still pretty quiet here and since the hunting ban in Botswana was lifted 10% down there. Idiots.

[OFSO]

Spanish juice provided by ENDESA. As with most utilities and tax people, my a/c has the red star meaning "this customer sends complaint letters straight to our DG".

[G-CPTN]

I've just come off on-line chat with them, they are issuing a revised DD as I am ahead of the game.

In 1971, the 'Gas board' offered a monthly payment scheme (to easy-out the sudden bills).
I calculated that their proposal was designed so that they were always ahead throughout the year (ie I was paying in advance for all my gas).
Instead I declined and remained on quarterly 'in arrears' billing - which meant that I never paid for gas that I hadn't already used . . .

[Capetonian]

A lot of utilities do that, as do.the fiscal authorities in some countries. It's one of the scams along the lines of "we'll charge you for a full tank of petrol and you can bring the car back empty.".

Send me a bill for what I owe you now and i will pay it now, I'm not going to pay in advance.

[Ibbie]

Just been insulted by the Moroccan girl in the bread shop. She asked me if I was fFrench!

When I pretended to spit on the floor at her question, her coleague said "Ah, you are Ingles then".

Think there will be a problem in the local later. An east-end skinhead is on at least his third extra large cocktail and is talking and swearing at/ to his imaginary friend seated with him. The barman has made him pay for what he's had so far and further drinks are cash with order.

[Ex-Ascot]

Sign at one of our pubs down south, 'If you are drinking to forget, please pay in advance'

[om15]

We have the beach to ourselves, why go abroad on holiday.

[Capetonian]

Just been insulted by the Moroccan girl in the bread shop. She asked me if I was fFrench!

There's a frog bakery in a village in Ireland I go to sometimes. One of the girls asked me if I was French because I placed my order in frog. I said 'absolument pas' so vehemently I think she was offended. Next morning she gave me an extra baguette free with my order. Come to think of it I wouldn't have minded giving her a bit of baguette too, even if she was French. She had tousled hair and come-to-bed eyes and spoken English with a trace of an Irish accent, not that vile high pitched pouting whine that frog females usually have.

[Ex-Ascot]

Just had a call from the woofter in prison in Athens. Seems that the tunnel is almost complete and he hopes to break out on Wednesday. Friend takes him to the airport and his brother meets him in Stockholm. Huge list of more things he needs from his apartment here. I told him to put things together before he left but he was too ill to think at the time.

Raki place. The owner's grandmother leapt out of my chair there so that I could sit. She was very insistent.

[OFSO]

Tax declaration posted. Last year buggers erroneously told me I was late, £100 fine. Receipt for 2017-18 was in London, I wasn't. Cousin entered house, found receipt and 'phoned it to me on WhatsApp. Appealed fine, appeal accepted. Then they wrote saying no tax bill for this year. Oh well. Receipt for 2018-19 is tattoed on my right buttock, only have to drop pants and sit on the Xerox to make a copy for HMRC. Thinking of having "Do not Rescusitate" tattooed on the left.

[ian16th]

spoken English with a trace of an Irish accent

Depending on where a language is picked up can produce strange results.

I remember listening to a French Onion guy, who had sold his crop for about 40 years on Tyneside!

French English with a Geordie accent

[llondel]

A few years ago I was in the Shanghai area visiting a factory and they made a point of bringing one of their engineers down to meet me. Turns out he did his degree in Sheffield and his English had a very noticeable accent from there.

[Ex-Ascot]

In my official seat surrounded by f...ing frogs. Bit of a debate going on about din dins. Feel like veggie omlette and chips but the poor chef is working 09.00 until 02.00 thanks to the disorganised wedding party so don't want to go outside the menu. We will see.

Nutter bride has just pitched up. This lady is a bride from hell.

[ricardian]

Postcard from Broadhaven.jpg
We have the beach to ourselves, why go abroad on holiday.

Nice & quiet up here too, just an otter leaving tracks on the beach

[OFSO]

What nationality are the joysome couple ?

[llondel]

Walking the dog last night, and spotted a bird of prey sitting on a nearby roof. It was being buzzed by some of the locals who clearly wanted it to bugger off, but as it appeared to be eating a California king snake, it was largely ignoring them except the one time that one got close enough to ruffle its feathers. Picture is not too good, but you can see the striped snake body below the bird.

[4mastacker]

Thirsty work on me canal lock restoration.

IMG_2286.JPG (101.54 KiB) Viewed 645 times

Them's Mary's chocolate flapjacks in that box.

[Alisoncc]

In 1971, the 'Gas board' offered a monthly payment scheme (to easy-out the sudden bills).
I calculated that their proposal was designed so that they were always ahead throughout the year (ie I was paying in advance for all my gas).
Instead I declined and remained on quarterly 'in arrears' billing - which meant that I never paid for gas that I hadn't already used . . .

One thing I learned in high-end marketing was "there is no such thing as a free lunch". Their business plan makes allowance for the costs of providing credit. So like it or not if paying in arrears, then you are paying credit costs.

I choose to pay in advance for my power, via the untilities website. I read my meter, enter the data, and get an instant readout of my current status - how much power I have in reserve. Normally I aim for about ten days. Recently did a comparison of accounts with a neighbour who has very similar usage. Over the year I had paid 5% less than she had. And I don't get big quarterly bills seemingly out of the blue.

Alison