The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[Ex-Ascot]

Not a happy bunny. Had Words last night. Wife has been "decluttering" house so it looks more attractive to the on-average one pair of possible buyers who come up every eight weeks. Didn't ask me, all my favourite things put away, might as well be in an hotel room.

Suggest we all swap spouses and in-laws for a week. Might make some of us contented with what we've got.

Know exactly what you feel like. When we got back from Greece last year our house sitters had shoved everything personal into the dressing room. It looked like a holiday let which is of course what they wanted for free.

[G-CPTN]

Was there ever a UK Politics thread here?

I just wanted to mention that today's MOS has a bunch of 'facts' concerning the would-be next PM.

[Ex-Ascot]

Was there ever a UK Politics thread here?

I just wanted to mention that today's MOS has a bunch of 'facts' concerning the would-be next PM.

Absolutely hilarious. What a tosser. Mrs May and 'Phil' must be drinking champagne and eating strawberries in bed.

Edit, sorry when I said Phil I didn't mean the one who has just handed over his driving licence.

[OFSO]

Lunch today at the posh hotel. An off-menu prearranged lunch for six (British, Channel Islander, two French, one South African). Pre-starters, starters, roast beef and yorkshire (Aaron the chef brought plates of seconds round, bless him), mousse of Cream Catalan, home-made sweetmeats and coffee. No wine but G&Ts. All in, €30 each. Since Aaron became chef bookings are going up exponentially.

[Ibbie]

Bad news today. The friend from the local, originally from Rochdale, died at 12.30 today. Prostate cancer.

[G-CPTN]

Bad news today. The friend from the local, originally from Rochdale, died at 12.30 today. Prostate cancer.

At what age?
I thought that most died with prostate cancer rather than from prostate cancer.

[compo]

It may be a socialist rag, but this should amuse Slasher

[Wodrick]

Sad *Ibbie* Sad

[Wodrick]

Anyone in touch with Angels by another medium ? he has not been here since March, one trusts he is well.

[OFSO]

Big winds yet again up in the Iberian north. Suspect it's the African Palm Beetle which is weakening stems and causing palm trees to topple when it blows.

[Slasher]

2.40pm here. A dozen bloody relatives of Apsara arrived this morning. While Ap was hugged by everyone I was only given the minimum standard greeting and nothing more. BIL acknowledged my presence and from then ignored me. So has everyone else. Looks like BIL has spread ***** about me. Little prick! Ap made morning coffee and everyone made small talk in Thai. Ap sat next to me holding my hand while all the chatter went on.

Finally MIL and FIL wanted to shout everybody out for lunch - 'cept me. Ap took that as an insult and started yelling blue murder. After dust settlement It was decided everyone goes out for lunch and me and Ap stay here. The rellies are back and seated at the war table. Ap has made juice drinks and small cakes. They're waiting for me downstairs. A lot of real bad kharma pervades here.

I'll start off by murdering that arsehole Ap calls he brother.

[OFSO]

Chimpanzees escape from Belfast zoo and establish a new political party. (BBC).

[Ibbie]

Morning.

Clear blue sky and a high of 18c expected today.

Mrs IB has a doctors appointment for 12.24.

Nothing else.

[OFSO]

Bad news Mr S. Bloody in-laws need either handling with extreme care and subtlety or ignoring. One segment of my wife's tribe went to live in deepest France years ago and although she has been back to the UK to demonstrate her abilities in useless dithering, he hasn't been seen by anyone for years.

[Ex-Ascot]

Anyone in touch with Angels by another medium ? he has not been here since March, one trusts he is well.

He was fine just before Christmas, we were in e-mail contact. I will e-mail you Wodders.

Yes OFSO that was funny about Belfast zoo.

Capt, why don't you just go out to the pub and leave them to it?

Bit cloudy again today had to run the genny to filter the pool. Forecast to rain but no signs so had to irrigate this morning. Second week now of not giving the gardener instructions. Herzberg claims that responsibility is a greater motivator than monetary reward. Don't think he ever lived in Africa though. We will see.

Seems that our staff have built a tent big enough for half the village with the old fly sheet from our meru tent.

[om15]

Will be out of radio contact for 10 days, have fun.

[Rwy in Sight]

om15 I hope your timeout will be for a good reason. Long day today as I just walked back home. At least I had a good fish meal at my parents place.

Ex-A, if you do get in contact with Angels please pass him my greetings. For some reasons I have an enormous respect for him.

Capt Slasher, how is your moonshine stock after such a stressful time?

[ribrash]

2.40pm here. A dozen bloody relatives of Apsara arrived this morning. While Ap was hugged by everyone I was only given the minimum standard greeting and nothing more. BIL acknowledged my presence and from then ignored me. So has everyone else. Looks like BIL has spread ***** about me. Little prick! Ap made morning coffee and everyone made small talk in Thai. Ap sat next to me holding my hand while all the chatter went on.

Finally MIL and FIL wanted to shout everybody out for lunch - 'cept me. Ap took that as an insult and started yelling blue murder. After dust settlement It was decided everyone goes out for lunch and me and Ap stay here. The rellies are back and seated at the war table. Ap has made juice drinks and small cakes. They're waiting for me downstairs. A lot of real bad kharma pervades here.

I'll start off by murdering that arsehole Ap calls he brother.

Reminds me of the Little Britain episode were Ting Tong brought her family to the house.

[Ex-Ascot]

Morning folks. Very disturbed night. Massive thunderstorm. Some of you will know what they are like here. It was if someone was throwing sticks of dynamite into the garden. Anyway the result was 48 mm and still raining. Told our man he can clean out the workshop or polish brass if he is getting too wet. To him that is women's work so he is getting wet.

Got to go to the village later to deliver a letter of apology to the chief to say we can't go his stupid bash on Friday and slip him a fiver towards the lunch. Then we will swing by the safari camp to see what brain dead they have on this tour.

[OFSO]

Morning all. Sunny and chill here but no wind, thank heavens. Clock ticking down to departure, can't wait to be underway.