The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[Woody]

Looking at the long range foecast, there is very little rain forecast up to mid January.

You can have our share as we’ve had rain every day this month and no sign of it stopping

[Ex-Ascot]

Just been to the safari camp, congratulated the newlyweds. Seems that they had a good bash, mucho booze consumed. Chatting to the bride's father who is Rhodesian. An engineer and not happy up there. Retirement age. Told him to come here. Think he is seriously considering it. The country is broke but they have better medical care (private) and education (private) there than here.

Pre-lunch scotch by a very clear blue pool and a very low lagoon with the hippos back.

[Slasher]

Wife reports no rain today which is good. It’ll let the ground soak up the heavy dumping of the past few days. No real flooding at home nor in town.

[Undried Plum]

An 18 year old laddie has wrecked my second best tractor.

I'm under a lot of sales pressure to spend a fortune on a Fendt, and this may swing my decision.

If the laddie is found floating face down in the local river, the cops know whom to 'interview'!

[Undried Plum]

Initial estimate is £10k to £15k. Damn thing is only worth £25k at most. The LR Overfinch he clobbered is in even worse nick.

Insured, of course, but if I buy that Fendt I will get hammered by the NFU insurance quote on that thing as it's way North of £130k and is big enough to destroy a Challenger tank.

****!

[ribrash]

That must have took some doing UP.

[Undried Plum]

The kid drives my tractors like they are racing cars.

That Range Rover is quite certainly totalled and it's probably worth more than his parents house.

If I do go ahead and buy that Fendt V1000 I shall be writing an exclusion clause into the Insurance which specifically prohibits him from ever touching the controls. Mebbe that will mollify the insurers.

[Pontius Navigator]

I think the technical description is ****.

[Undried Plum]

I think the technical description is ****.

Yup, well and truly. He was hauling 10 cubic metres of wet clayey subsoil in that trailer.





The subsoil is actually boulder clay and the boulders are of ironstone, so lots of momentum in that trailer.

[k3k3]

Tractors tend not to work too well if you can see the inside bits from outside.
Who does the Range Rover belong to?

[Undried Plum]

On a public forum, I ain't saying, but yours is a good question.

[4mastacker]

An 18 year old laddie has wrecked my second best tractor.

I'm under a lot of sales pressure to spend a fortune on a Fendt, and this may swing my decision.

If the laddie is found floating face down in the local river, the cops know whom to 'interview'!

UP, Is the concrete set hard on that pour you did a few weeks back? Just asking like.

[Undried Plum]

Yup. It's now under several hundred tonnes of silage.

30 days was the hardening period we were told, but we started to fill the thing about three weeks after the pour as the load is compressive and well spread.

[Capetonian]

Just what you always wanted to know, how to call someone a dickhead in Latin. I suppose if time travel is ever invented they might be useful.

Did the Romans have derogatory terms for anyone or anything?

Yes they did and I will list them
NOTE THAT THIS IS GRAPHIC- THESE WERE NOT NICE WORDS

Irrumatio: This means I am going to forcefully have sex with your mouth

Landica: This actually just means clitoris but it was seen as a really foul
insult in ancient Rome. Keep in mind Rome was a patriarchy

Caput capitis: This meant dick head- literally- it meant dick head in the
exact way we would use it today

Faex: This is roughly similar to *****. It was the secondary swear word for
excrement

Lupa: This meant slut (kinda). Roman attitudes towards sexuality were
very different from our own. Generally speaking, they viewed sex as
tainted- preferring virgins to non-virgins- but at the same time, they were
very open. To marry women with kids was not a taboo thing and having
sex with many partners did not make one a “slut”. But it was still not
acceptable to be too sexually active. While we imagine the Romans
being totally sexually accepting there was a very clear line.

Catamitus or Cinaedus: This is the ancient equivalent of “faggot”. It is
translated to a man who is penetrated by another man or just gay man.
In Rome a degree of homosexuality was acceptable. Open
homosexuality was in no way accepted in Rome- but a certain degree
od bisexuality was tolerated. Being gay was not frowned up- being
subordinate was. If you were the partner getting penetrated you were
considered lesser. Being the one who penetrates was fine by everyone.

Futuo: This is basically the Roman F word although its use was different
early on.

Cunnus: This basically was a term for vagina but was used liked we use
the modern word “****”. There were other terms for the female
reproductive parts that were not swear words- this was the bad version.
Last thing I will go into is sorta a funny thing that shows a difference in
culture between Rome and us today. Roman’s were obsessed with the
penis. They loved to draw penises everywhere and dick graffiti was a
constant staple of Roman “street art”. But the Roman idea of penises
was wildly different from ours. In their eyes the ideal man had a small
and pristine penis. A large and thick penis was seen as gross and
unappealing. So if you were to go up to a friend in Rome and say
“Marcus, your penis is thick and massive. In fact, your penis is so big
that it looks like another leg” Marcus may just attack you for such a
grave insult.

Keep in mind there are direct translations for words like ass, damn, *****,
ect- but Romans would not have used them in the same context we use
them today. Above are the true “swear” words of ancient Roma.

Last thing I will note is this. In the USA in the year 1800 swear words
were very different from today. In only 200 years the language we use
and the way english is spoken has shifted in many ways. Rome was
around (and speaking latin) for around 1000 years and then another
1000 speaking Greek. You can imagine the list of swear words changed
quite a bit. So in no way is this a complete list. It is simply some wellknown
examples.

[Ex-Ascot]

So UP our collision with the cow costing just £1,400 in repairs was peanuts then.

A warm evening.

[Undried Plum]

So UP our collision with the cow costing just £1,400 in repairs was peanuts then.

****!

That Range Rover will cost something like 100k to replace.

Did you get to keep the cow's dismantled components? There's a lotta good eatin' on a cow, even a scrawny Brahmin or Hausa or whatever you have down there.

[G-CPTN]

I was surprised that Danish swearwords were religious and not anatomically based (bodily functions, being natural, were openly discussed by all ages).

[llondel]

Morning all, cool but sunny here, expected to get quite warm this afternoon.

Just admiring the demolition job, I assume he was driving too fast on a narrow road and met the RR coming the other way?

Might tackle some window cleaning today if I can find the squeegee. It does improve the light levels inside the house no end, but the dogs will do their best to replace the mud layer on the glass when I remove the existing one.

Taking the middle dog in for blood tests every other day at the moment, checking for optimal breeding time which we're guessing will be around Wednesday. She hates visiting the vet, and when a large dog objects to a procedure involving sharp pointy things then all bets are off. She can be bribed however, so I was holding her and my wife was wiping peanut butter on her lips and nose to keep her occupied while the vet tech was extracting blood from a hind leg. Even then it took more than one attempt. That's now three visits in a row when nothing bad has happened which is good, because I have no idea how we're going to do the ultrasound check in a month, nor the x-ray just before birth because neither of those is a stealthy thing.

[Undried Plum]

Just admiring the demolition job, I assume he was driving too fast on a narrow road and met the RR coming the other way?

Succinctly accurate.

Fortunately for me, the owners are aware of who I am and have some respect for myself. That's a relief for me as they are well known locally to have ample human resources, and a propensity, for the settlement of disputes by extrajudicial means.

[Slasher]

Morning. 11.55am here in trashed up HKG.

Plum yer laddie has, from what I’ve seen, put you in considerable financial **** let alone the loss of you trac. If you’ve allowed the kid to live it’s going to be some time before he works off all that quid. Commiserations mate but...if you knew he was such an idjit while driving said farm machine then why didn’t you ban him beforehand?

Got a job offer out of the blue from Cebu Pacific. Hadn’t applied to ‘em so fuctifino who did what. Nonetheless gave them a ring. Good contract and might’ve been half-tempted (I have a bit of a hard soft spot for the PIs) if it wasn’t for the fact the pay figures they quoted was in Flipperine pesos not USD as I’d assumed.

Another 2h sesh for cadet reinforcement training late tonight then - nuffing. Am in negotiations with the Planner to bugger off home rather than hang around in Sh!t City China. Rather work me arse off in chunks of days without end than in sporadic bits waiting for some work to turn up. Besides, 2 other destructors have returned to brave the enraged local Unwashed rabblery.

If you were the partner getting penetrated you were
considered lesser. Being the one who penetrates was fine by everyone.

In that regard the only thing different between Ancient Rome and the Body Corporate is the latter isn't allowed to feed christians to the lions.