The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[TheGreenGoblin]

Hope you get betterer Reverend James Sir.

I am sorry to hear that the ops-normal's own Reverend James is unwell and wish him better soon.

As for the other Reverend James, it is still fine...

The Reverend James

With respect to the place you call TOP I noted the many hat tips to Captain Slasher there the other day...

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about- Oscar Wilde.

[Slasher]

Good to see Jim the Rev has been immortalised in booze!

Gob I fully expected in that thread to read Slasher being abused and ridiculed. I wasn’t exactly the most gentlemanly bugger on the block and nothing was sacred. Must admit it was a real eye opener!

[ExSp33db1rd]

.....One of my colleagues from my working days (1968-1993) keeps a note of who has passed away and ..........

Good idea, I find that I have difficulty remembering if it is the husband or the wife who has passed away, I know for sure it is one of them, but have to stop sending Christmas Cards in case I send it to the wrong name !

More recently have taken to making a note in my "Contacts" file, but I am really far too late, never thought I would need to !

Getting to the stage where I look at the "Absent Friends" page of the Retirement News first to see if I feature !

[Ex-Ascot]

Morning folks. Town day. Sitting outside Safari Spar and Woolworths waiting for the shopping to be brought out. We had loads of things to do but it was just all too much. Put them off until next week. Pub next them Dept of bloody Immigration to try again to get our stolen permits back.

[OFSO]

Don't confuse the hatred shown for some of us by the management over in TOP with the friendliness of the rank and file there. RtK has a lot to answer for.

Nice sunny day up here but rain forecast later. Mrs OFSO has a cold. Moved into the guest quarters last night to avoid infecting me. Taking Echinea...

[handsfree]

Good morning everybody.
Wet and miserable here. 6C.

Nearly all the leaves down from the garden fruit trees now. One more leaf picking up session
estimated and then that's it. The big hunker down until Spring begins in earnest.

Today is taken up by a session at the Royal Derby and when that is done I shall pick up my recently blinded pal
and take him to the pub for some R&R.

[Ibbie]

Morning all. Its Artday.

Clear blue sky out there, but only 14c and only expected to rise to 19.

Few jobs to do in the house then Ed and I will head out for a couple of hours.

[ian16th]

If you need sympathy, have a look at how this guy's holiday got messed up.

His widow must also be in a mess.

The vast increase in shark attacks in the area is being put down to climate change!
Dunno how much truth there is in that.

[Pontius Navigator]

Handsfree, cool and wet and quite high here just east of you. Leaves still green and just on the turn. No drops yet apart from the pear.

[Slasher]

The vast increase in shark attacks in the area is being put down to climate change!

Increase in shark attacks? GW
Typhoon in Burma? GW
Hot Aussie Summers? GW
Bots drought? GW
Ice trucking season in Yellowknife ends 2 weeks early? GW
Slightly higher tornado count in the Alley? GW
Small tits fat bum? GW
Train late? GW
Pub shuts early? GW
Loan rates go up? GW
Messy divorce? GW
Car won’t start? GW

OK I admit the last six are a tad exaggerated.

[Sisemen]

It’s worse than that Slasher....

Decrease in shark activity? GW
Fewer typhoons in Burma? GW
Unseasonal snow in Tasmania, Victoria and NSW? GW
Bots inundated? GW

...and so it goes on, the shameless attribution of anything to GW for the rapacious appetite of the gullible who will swallow anything.

[TheGreenGoblin]

The vast increase in shark attacks in the area is being put down to climate change!

Increase in shark attacks? GW
Typhoon in Burma? GW
Hot Aussie Summers? GW
Bots drought? GW
Ice trucking season in Yellowknife ends 2 weeks early? GW
Slightly higher tornado count in the Alley? GW
Small tits fat bum? GW
Train late? GW
Pub shuts early? GW
Loan rates go up? GW
Messy divorce? GW
Car won’t start? GW

OK I admit the last six are a tad exaggerated.

GW = Great Whites!

Why didn't my car start. The Great White problem!

Small Tits! The Great White nibbled on them... etc.


I jest of course!

How's this for a simplistic hypothesis? Henceforth to be known as Gob's theorem...

Hot weather for longer periods + Greater Human Population = More people in Sea for longer periods

Number of attacks ∝ More people in sea for longer periods + More sharks (due to species protection)

I know, I know, the question and the resulting answers involve currents, weather, species success, chumming, etc. etc. etc.

On a more serious note, there can be no more fecking ignominious or miserable way to die than by being eaten by a fish.

Poor bloke.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Tore my dressing gown on leaving the shower this morning - GW ?

[TheGreenGoblin]

Tore my dressing gown on leaving the shower this morning - GW ?

That's what you get for keeping your Great White in the shower. Due to all this Global Warming I keep my pet Great White in cold water in the bath. That way he bites my better half's bum and leaves my dressing gown alone.

[Pontius Navigator]

"Number of attacks ∝ More people in sea for longer periods + More sharks (due to species protection)"

Yeah, greater supply of food. We have a smart dog, keeps out of the water in case sharks about. Inland stream is safe.

[Ex-Ascot]

Went to the agricultural supplier this morning. Talking to S.A. owner. Funny old thing business is down. Back again to Dept of Immigration. No queue. Helpful officer. She checked all the papers and said all fine please take a seat it may take a time to process. Now this office is close to the most famous/oldest hotel in Maun. Am I going to sit in reception in Immigration or the bar at the hotel anway when we got back they were fighting with the computer. Got to go back next week.

The hotel is Rileys. None of the original hotel remains. It is a pretty average Cresta now but nice setting and pleasant staff. There has been a petrol station next door for 100 odd years. Before the airstrip was built aircraft would land on the dirt road there and refuel at the petrol station.

[Woody]

Surprised that nobody has noticed this, I’m going to the Watford date, London sold out

https://www.planetrock.com/news/rock-ne ... show-tour/

[TheGreenGoblin]

Surprised that nobody has noticed this, I’m going to the Watford date, London sold out

https://www.planetrock.com/news/rock-ne ... show-tour/

Not so much War of the Worlds, as War of the Grumpy Old Gits in Red bobble hats, then... bah humbug!

[jimtherev]

Thanks, lovely people, for encouraging messages. Back to normal, pretty much. Only snag is that I've 'signed meself off sick' and so can't dodge when the next 'I want this now' appears.
Re Reverend James: I was quite excited to see this on a beer pump for the first time. Unfortunately I can't get myself to like it very much; in fact I've still a bottle I was given for my birthday which needs attention. I'm sure I'll find a use for it some time.
(Like the two litre bottles of Glenmoragie (sp?) which are still untouched in the naughty cupboard.)

[TheGreenGoblin]

Not so much War of the Worlds, as War of the Grumpy Old Gits in Red bobble hats, then... bah humbug!

Which doesn't make any sense at all as it was Jeff Wayne who did War of the Worlds. My addled noodle remembered this...