Rant of the Day v2.

[OFSO]

I think the clipped ear indicates she's a scrapper. BTW, a ginger female: pretty rare...

[Ex-Ascot]

Went to see the director of consumer affairs today after he had admitted in writing that mitigation had failed. The threat to write to the minister seems to have worked. He is taking further action against the computer supplier.

[CharlieOneSix]

Two identical BT emails received within 2 minutes of each other:

Dear Mr C16
While you didn't have broadband, you qualified for a £7 monthly discount on your phone bill. But because you've got broadband now, you'll no longer get that discount. So you'll see the full price on your next bill.

I have wireless broadband, nothing to do with BT.

On phoning BT, Indian sounding lady, barely understandable:

Her:That increase is because you are out of contract.

Me: How can I be out of contract when you are taking my line rental money each month?

Her(after 10 minutes of insisting she's right): I have just checked - those emails were a mistake. You still qualify for the £7 monthly line rental discount.

Me: So am I out of contract or not?

Her: No you are not out of contract, I made a mistake, sorry.

Jeez, why do BT employ customer service staff who are so useless.

[Slasher]

The rant is how frigging dumb can one be??!!

I get a knock on the door of my apartment late this morning.

Quotes are as best as i can remember.

Ditzy pommy 50ish blonde (nice tits for her age) walks herself right in and says "Hi Rod! Long time no see innit!"

I wouldn't know her from a bar of soap.

Sits down and asks for a drink. I gave her some moonshine.

I was about to ask her name when she said "It's all over with Peter. He's a useless knob and we split up about ooh 2 weeks ago and I..."

Bunging on a presence I cut her off "But I thought you and Peter were a perfect match."

Of course we were. But all he could bluddy do was go round to Irene's. You remember Irene's..."

"Yeh. Up in um..."

Over in Dorchester. Right. So he saunters back and expects me to pay! The bluddy hide of that man! I had enuff of 'im. Get out of 'ere I yelled and I sent 'I'm packing. Why do you keep looking at my boobs? Hadn't you had enuff of 'em?"

"Well I have missed them dear. So what are your plans?

"After seein' your brother I decided to take wot you told me years ago before you dumped me."

"Oh so you're now a um...what was it again?"

"You got one bad memory Rod Xxxxxx! [aha! wrong surname!] it was that typing position in Stratford."

"Better late than never love."

"Late?? I could only leave Irene's what...about 6 months ago? I wish you would read my emails!"

"Well certainly Irene was rough to work for but she wasn't that bad surely."

"Not bad? NOT BAD? You need your head read! Oh yeh she was all over you like a rash but with ME she treated like bleeding dirt! Just because we were shagging didn't mean I had to take that!"

"Well it's good you're finally made the move to Stratford."

"You know Rodney I still have the statue."

"Go on. Yeh?"

"Yep! I have to put it away mind when company calls, you understand."

"Of course. It's not something you leave out in mixed company."

"I should say so! Bluddy huge dick on the thing!"

There was small talk about the Gulf for several minutes and no point writing it all here.

"Well it's been nice chatting dear but I have to leave soon. Going to work" I lied.

Good to see you too Rod."

We got up and moved to the door. I took a punt and asked "can I have a feel for old time's sake?"

"Oh alright. You always were a naughty animal."

I had a feel.

"Call me when you get to London. I'll pick you up."

"Ok honey. Bye!"

Never met her before in my life. What the hell she's doing in the Gulf I didn't ask. How or why she thought she knew me I wouldn't have a bloody clue. I think she's mixed me up with another aussie Rod somewhere else in the block. Who he is I don't know - he must've looked a bit like me when she last saw him and filled in the probable aging.

Nothing stolen, my drink wasn't laced and she didn't appear off her face on drugs. I didn't let her out of my sight for a second.

Edit: just spoke to block reception (now that he's in). It seems a dumb blonde came in looking for Rod Xxxxxx. Stoopid gIt gave her my apartment number as there aren't any other Rods living here.

[OFSO]

I have a defective facial recognition system. Never know who anyone is, resulting in wife saying "You know who that was, don't you ? You don't !" after many chance meetings on the street. We know several people with the same problem which has resulted in two friends sitting near to each other looking nervously at each other and wondering......Not all bad, though. I was kissed passionately by a buxom young redhead while standing in a trance in the shoe department of the Corte Inglis store. She knew me, I couldn't think who she was, ex- wife, illegitimate daughter, etc. Turned out to be former gym instructress.

[Slasher]

I spoke to the Apartment block chief this morning about the front desk giving that ditzy pommy blonde my apartment number out to her. A serious breach of security. She could've had the intention of blowing me nuts orf!

The block chief apologised and said that the reception bugger only heard 'Rod' and assumed she meant me. I told the chief that policy states I'm to be rung up first if there is any doubt, and to remind that to the Paki desk attendant.

[CharlieOneSix]

Having had another woeful phone call with a gentleman at BT I clicked on their "Tell us what you think" page on their website. I felt like sending this but thought better of it:

May bleeding piles torment you
And corns infest your feet,
May crabs as big as spiders,
Attack your balls for meat,
And when you're old and weary,
And you feel a bloody wreck,
May you fall back through your arsehole,
And break your bloody neck.

[Ex-Ascot]

Having the pool rebuilt. They brought a massive truck loaded up with building materials down our 1km long deep sand bush track. Got stuck half way. Then outside our house then they tried to get down our driveway and got stuck outside the garage. It is like the Somme out there and they haven't even started work yet. Told them to fix the driveway with precision rakes before they even start work on Monday and we are not paying. We were not here. Project manager knew there would be hell when we got back. He knows our standards. 5 years ago made them dismantle a day's carpentry job and start again. Only consolation was they smashed the cab of the truck on a very large tree by our gate. It was rented. The truck not the tree. Tree is fine, shaken not stirred.

[OFSO]

Bloody Google ! Changing the format of the mail page without so much as a "by your leave". Changed it back again. B*stardes.

[ian16th]

Bloody Google ! Changing the format of the mail page without so much as a "by your leave". Changed it back again. B*stardes.

It ain't just Giggle, web-page designers with time on their hands have much to answer for.

I use this site at least twice a day, to update my spreadsheet, and they have changed things twice in about a week.

[4mastacker]

Me current mobile phone has started having brain farts. Had it a while; it's a Motorola V3 Razr. Trying to find a new mobile phone what takes a standard sim card is a real needle/haystack job. All current models seem to be mini/ultra sims so any bloody phone I get means sitting down and transferring all me contacts one by one to the new phone. Feckn PITA technology!!

[jimtherev]

Me current mobile phone has started having brain farts. Had it a while; it's a Motorola V3 Razr. Trying to find a new mobile phone what takes a standard sim card is a real needle/haystack job. All current models seem to be mini/ultra sims so any bloody phone I get means sitting down and transferring all me contacts one by one to the new phone. Feckn PITA technology!!

One can get cutters to cut sims down. Have one on the shelf next to me. Works well. Even leaves the exo-skin, so that if you need a standard size sim again you can reassemble it. Useful with the older phone I use in N. America. Cost me about a tenner if I remember rightly.

[4mastacker]

...............................One can get cutters to cut sims down. Have one on the shelf next to me. Works well. Even leaves the exo-skin, so that if you need a standard size sim again you can reassemble it. Useful with the older phone I use in N. America. Cost me about a tenner if I remember rightly.

The sharks salesmen didn't tell me about cutters. They were trying to convince me to buy a phone which would only take the smaller sims - the " modern phones don't take that size card anymore" routine. Anyway's, I think I have found one- a Nokia - which takes the standard sim so one shall go the the independent mobile phone emporium and enquire within.

I'm on PAYG and top-up when I need to. Apparently, Ts&Cs for new PAYG sims require a set payment on a monthly rolling basis and if you don't top-up monthly, you get cut-off and lose any credit you have paid for. I wonder if a certain LoCo airline is into the mobile phones business.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Feckn PITA technology!!

It's all Harold Wilsons fault, 'im an' his White Hot Heat of Technology.

Was Mankind right to have invented the wheel, I sometimes wonder.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

[Slasher]

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

I wish someone would get that through to bloody *****. I still rely on WXP for my main tasks and only use W10 when I absolutely have to.

[OFSO]

Every sim card I have bought recently has come prepunched to standard, mini and microsizes. Is that only in UK ? As far as copying data is concerned connect both phones to the same WiFi network, use CLONE on each phone, and hit start. No phone network needed.

[Ex-Ascot]

Every sim card I have bought recently has come prepunched to standard, mini and microsizes. Is that only in UK ?

Even in deepest dark Africa we have this now. Before they would trim it with scissors for you.

[Boac]

jim - there is a Motorola programme to transfer stuff between Moto phones. I had a Razr until I broke it! Your phone company should supply you with a new SIM (which will have all size options) with the same number if you ask.

4mast - I am now the proud owner of two SIMs for my swanky new phone... Tesco PAYG (on the O2 network), as far as I know do not need a monthly top-up, and my O2 SIM (for data use) requires one every 6 months, so not too much to ask.

[OFSO]

The friends we were meeting for lunch were delayed for an hour today so the OFSOs sat in the garden near the restaurant entrance and watched other arriving diners. We could not believe how many overweight women in their late teens and early twenties there are. Chubby arms, fat thighs, wobbling bellies and walking stiff-hipped. I said to the Mem', 10-15 years ago young ladies in this part of the world were all slim and slinky. WTH has happened ? The similarly aged young men are not fat....

[4mastacker]

.......................
4mast - I am now the proud owner of two SIMs for my swanky new phone... Tesco PAYG (on the O2 network), as far as I know do not need a monthly top-up, and my O2 SIM (for data use) requires one every 6 months, so not too much to ask.

That's what I thought. The sales sharks were just trying to get me to part with my money for something I didn't want.