Rant of the Day v2.

[Capetonian]

What's black and shrivelled and hangs from a wire on the ceiling? A French electrician.

[ian16th]

Estate agent couldn’t see any problem

Saf Estate Agents?

I once visited a new house for sale that was advertised as having 'Luxurious Finishes'.

I asked the 'Estate Agent' how he could class a living room with a single power outlet as 'Luxurious'.
He just looked at me, struck dumb.

[Capetonian]

I went to have a look at a property on a smallholding near Durbanville, back in the day when it was safe to live on a farm in ZA. It was pretty shabby and it took me a couple of minutes to realise I wasn't interested. I took an instant dislike to the agent who tried to sell it out to me, and he kept trotting out the the 'USP', in fact it was the only 'sales point'.

"Ja man, it's like out in the gramadoelas, so if you get a stukkie los out here, she's here for the night."

Translation :
Gramadoelas : out in the middle of nowhere, equivalent to the Spanish expression which some will know : "En el quinto coño."
Stukkie los : loose chick.

By a strange coincidence, I had a meal in lovely restaurant near Durbanville a couple of months ago and realised it was the exact same property.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I asked the 'Estate Agent' how he could class a living room with a single power outlet as 'Luxurious'.
He just looked at me, struck dumb.

Luxury means 'could be featured in House Beautiful or Country Life'.
If you study the images in these magazines carefully, you will note that there is nothing electronic in sight at all. Sockets will only encourage the male of the house to plug things in.
The Horror!

So, luxury = 1 socket. Simples!

[OFSO]

Inhabitants of Barcelona know only too well to avoid the ring road or centre fast road underpasses in a thunderstorm/cloudburst as they were built without drains and rain water accumulates so fast that drowning is not only possible, it's happened more than once. So when this week I tried the underpass constructed this year leaving Figueras east I thought Lessons Might Have Been Learned. Not a bit of it ! Road dips sharply through a tunnel under the ring road and climbs out the other side. No drains on the approaches or at the lowest point which is about three metres or ten feet lower than the approach roads. However signs each side warn of "inundations". Signs, of course, being much cheaper than doing the job properly.

[Beef Raiser]

Mr OFSO Sir,

Are they not "award winning" underpasses ?

[Beef Raiser]

I'll see your French wiring and raise you South African wiring !

Have you ever been to India ?

[ian16th]

I'll see your French wiring and raise you South African wiring !

Have you ever been to India ?

No but I've been to Pakistan five times.

I didn't have to work on or with any wiring other that what was in the Valiant's we took with us.

[OFSO]

Dear Mr Beef: the only award I can think of is Death Traps Award. Several years ago a Barcelona resident with two children in the back seat of his car got stuck in one during a cloudburst. In attempting to get the little ones out of the car they were swept away and drowned. That this happened in the middle of a capital city driving on a newly constructed road is disgraceful. Similar tunnels are to be found in every community from Barcelona northwards where the main railway line separates the town from the sea. Matero being the one that is always on TV after a thunderstorm. Not always with bodies, of course !

[Cacophonix]

I'll see your French wiring and raise you South African wiring !

Have you ever been to India ?

Goodness gracious me.JPG (131.18 KiB) Viewed 2135 times

Caco

[Magnus]

Chooky Embra was clearly correct in one of his so-called "gaffes" when he commented on Indian wiring.

[Beef Raiser]

Mr Caco sir,

That's one of the tidier examples. No trees, balconies or traffic lights have been used to support the cables. The last time I went there with work, we had a competition to see who could photograph the most extreme example. The competition didn't last long as we ran out of adjectives and moved on to road design. The winner was the chicane on a motorway where you had to interleave with oncoming traffic, seemingly for the sake of it.

[Capetonian]

Chooky Embra was clearly correct in one of his so-called "gaffes" when he commented on Indian wiring.

A bit rich coming from a Greek!

[Beef Raiser]

True, a Greek would have invoiced the work twice and insisted on cash.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

More tips from Roy Rogers the builder:
Flooring: It's a pain taking up old flooring, so don't!
Just slap another layer of ply on top, maybe some tar paper too (can't have enough impervious layers, it gets damp down there!), then add more linoleum.
And if that means you end up with tar paper/osb/linoleum/tar paper/linoleum/plywood/linoleum, so a new owner can't even get the door to open, that's his problem!

p.s. when fitting a door catch, just drill the plate in, then widen the holes and chip out more jamb to move the plate until you can eventually get it to just about close. Then the next guy will have no wood left to work with. Measurements are for losers!


p.s. If anyone wants a History of Canadian Linoleum, come visit!

[ian16th]

I came across this today

So I clicked on the JNB - MEL button.

I picked a date in November for a 4 week stay and in return I was offered this!

Not flights with Qantas, but with Virgin Atlantic and Delta!

The suggested routing was the pretty way. JNB - LHR - ATL - MEL, Oh and the fare wasn't R12 350 each but R17 075 each.

Also no mention in the large print that the dreaded 4 digit flight number meant a code share and that one of the Virgin Atlantic legs was on a Delta a/c.

If I wanted to fly to ATL, I can fly direct from JNB to ATL anyway. Why go to LHR?

Edited to add, see next post.

[ian16th]

I came across this today

So I clicked on the JNB - MEL button.

I picked a date in November for a 4 week stay and in return I was offered this!

Not flights with Qantas, but with Virgin Atlantic and Delta!

The suggested routing was the pretty way. JNB - LHR - ATL - MEL, Oh and the fare wasn't R12 350 each but R17 075 each.

Also no mention in the large print that the dreaded 4 digit flight number meant a code share and that one of the Virgin Atlantic legs was on a Delta a/c.

If I wanted to fly to ATL, I can fly direct from JNB to ATL anyway. Why go to LHR?

I've just realised that the daft system has routed to a Melbourne in Florida USA!

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

We do occasionally get people turning up in Sydney NS, thinking the computer truncated Sydney NSW.

The fish restaurant on the seafront (just the one) is quite good

[flynverted]

I'll see your French wiring and raise you South African wiring !

Have you ever been to India ?

Goodness gracious me.JPG

Caco

Looks like something that could be seen in Jakarta...

[Slasher]

I've just realised that the daft system has routed to a Melbourne in Florida USA!

Melbourne Fl is too wet and muggy at this time of year Ian, while Melbourne Oz is far too wet and cold...period. Might be better to go some place nice and where the wx is better. But if it has to be Oz I'd recommend Brisbane out of that lot. Cold in the early am but day's are sunny and pleasant enough. Bit like Maun at present.