#2764
Post
by Capetonian » Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:59 am
I rented a car the other day, as I often do. I wanted, and had booked, an Opel Astra/VW Polo/Golf type and size. I know they always say 'or similar' and that of course is the trapdoor.
I don't like automatics, and I won't drive Frog cars partly on principle and also because they are shoddy and badly engineered, with too many fancy bells and whistles. Who needs 90 speed windscreen wipers which take 5 minutes to turn off? Never mind 8 reverse gears and one forward, trust me on this, the French are no more valorous than the much maligned Italians.
After a negotiation session with the rental agent, worthy of an Indian market, because the only car they had in the group I'd booked was a Renault Wanko or something, they offered me an 'upgrade' to a Renault Jamjar. I asked the guy how many times I had to say I DON'T DRIVE FRENCH CARS. Next comes a Kia something or other, which would have been fine, but when I said I'd take it, suddenly it had gone. So now we get to upgrade, and he offers me a Squashkar or something, automatic, diesel. They aren't bad, I've had them before, but it was an extra £85/day. I prefer diesels because I enjoy driving them and it's two fingers up Greta Snotberg. Sorry, two fingers up to Greta Snotberg, not up her. No thanks.
Then we got a Volvo XC60, manual, which also started at £85/day. Told him I wasn't interested at all and eventually it gets down to about £20 a day at which point I thought **** so I said yes.
The car is a beast. Probably perfect for driving in the Arctic tundra, the steppes of Siberia, or the Canadian prairies, but it has blacked out windows, a darkened rear view mirror which doesn't seem to be adjustable, and massive pillars which create more blind spots than bits you can see out of. Totally unsuitable for driving in traffic. To make it worse, the reversing sensor doesn't work which is not good when you're trying to park a big and unfamiliar car in small spaces, such as the Weybridge car park on the Saturday afternoon of the Christmas market, with kids and prams and shopping trolleys flying around.
Everything is automatic, the heating, the wipers, the headlights, and difficult to override. There's a bigscreen with touch controls which doesn't work properly for me as apparently my skin is too dry. There's a bug in the electronics and every now and then it flashes up a screen and a voice says "Tell me what you want me to do now ...." Blowjob wasn't on the list of options. Nor was 'go and f*ck yourself.' And the Satnav wasn't much use as it said the place I was at didn't exist, so it couldn't plot a journey from there.
Does anyone know a rental company that could rent me a 1975 Ford Escort RS2000, or even a 1600, or any proper car rather some electronic overdesigned piece of garbage?