Rant of the Day v2.

General Chit Chat
Message
Author
Slasher

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2761 Post by Slasher » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:38 am

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Dec 02, 2019 11:45 am
No the bats do nothing but *sh*t* and pee all over the veranda.
That’s something I do when I come home drunk Sah. Best you keep me sober somehow if I visit the Manor or TS will go off the deep end! Either that or arrange to have me stop off newtfully pissed at the Jungle Bunny production area.

Nah it wasn’t bad wording. I understood where you were coming from. Just it looked funny inferring that 30 bats are slaughtering bovines. :))

User avatar
Fox3WheresMyBanana
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 12987
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
Location: Great White North
Gender:
Age: 61

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2762 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:48 am

Batsh!t-crazy and Mad Cows...surely you see the connection, Watson?

Hydromet
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 4302
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:55 am
Location: SE Oz
Gender:

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2763 Post by Hydromet » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:56 am

Don't talk to me about fruit bats. They are an absolute arsepain in our historical botanical gardens. They have taken over and aside from **** on anyone unfortunate enough to walk under them, they have destroyed a number of large trees.
The gardens were founded by Charles Moore in 1816, and a Kauri (agathis moorei) tree named in his honour was planted by him. They killed it by defoliation, knocking leaves off every time they took off and landed, as well as destroying a number of others the same way.
About 30 of us (woodworkers) were given the timber from this tree to make whatever we liked, to be sold, with profits to go to the gardens to get rid of the bats. The items made included a rowing boat, furniture, jewellery, sculpture and boxes, and raised quite a few thousand dollars in commission for the gardens. I made a set of boxes in the shapes of the platonic solids.
As the fruit bats are protected, they could not be destroyed, and even getting approval to use noise to make them move on took years. Their numbers seem to have decreased at last.

Capetonian

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2764 Post by Capetonian » Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:59 am

I rented a car the other day, as I often do. I wanted, and had booked, an Opel Astra/VW Polo/Golf type and size. I know they always say 'or similar' and that of course is the trapdoor.

I don't like automatics, and I won't drive Frog cars partly on principle and also because they are shoddy and badly engineered, with too many fancy bells and whistles. Who needs 90 speed windscreen wipers which take 5 minutes to turn off? Never mind 8 reverse gears and one forward, trust me on this, the French are no more valorous than the much maligned Italians.

After a negotiation session with the rental agent, worthy of an Indian market, because the only car they had in the group I'd booked was a Renault Wanko or something, they offered me an 'upgrade' to a Renault Jamjar. I asked the guy how many times I had to say I DON'T DRIVE FRENCH CARS. Next comes a Kia something or other, which would have been fine, but when I said I'd take it, suddenly it had gone. So now we get to upgrade, and he offers me a Squashkar or something, automatic, diesel. They aren't bad, I've had them before, but it was an extra £85/day. I prefer diesels because I enjoy driving them and it's two fingers up Greta Snotberg. Sorry, two fingers up to Greta Snotberg, not up her. No thanks.

Then we got a Volvo XC60, manual, which also started at £85/day. Told him I wasn't interested at all and eventually it gets down to about £20 a day at which point I thought **** so I said yes.

The car is a beast. Probably perfect for driving in the Arctic tundra, the steppes of Siberia, or the Canadian prairies, but it has blacked out windows, a darkened rear view mirror which doesn't seem to be adjustable, and massive pillars which create more blind spots than bits you can see out of. Totally unsuitable for driving in traffic. To make it worse, the reversing sensor doesn't work which is not good when you're trying to park a big and unfamiliar car in small spaces, such as the Weybridge car park on the Saturday afternoon of the Christmas market, with kids and prams and shopping trolleys flying around.

Everything is automatic, the heating, the wipers, the headlights, and difficult to override. There's a bigscreen with touch controls which doesn't work properly for me as apparently my skin is too dry. There's a bug in the electronics and every now and then it flashes up a screen and a voice says "Tell me what you want me to do now ...." Blowjob wasn't on the list of options. Nor was 'go and f*ck yourself.' And the Satnav wasn't much use as it said the place I was at didn't exist, so it couldn't plot a journey from there.

Does anyone know a rental company that could rent me a 1975 Ford Escort RS2000, or even a 1600, or any proper car rather some electronic overdesigned piece of garbage?

User avatar
Rwy in Sight
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 6740
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:04 pm
Location: Lost in an FIR somewhere
Gender:

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2765 Post by Rwy in Sight » Tue Dec 03, 2019 11:20 am

That reversing sensor is a curse and a blessing: when you don't have one you can park just fine. Once you get one you can par without one before some damage is done.

Plus it is annoying when all those gismos (that are useful) don't work when you really could use them.

G-CPTN
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 7594
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 11:22 pm
Location: Tynedale
Gender:
Age: 79

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2766 Post by G-CPTN » Tue Dec 03, 2019 11:29 am

'Enterprise' entered the market with older cars, but even they have now gone up-to-date.

We have a local small renter that operates out of a farm with a handful of older vehicles.

I don't think that 'Rent-a-Wreck' have entered the UK yet.

User avatar
OFSO
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 18601
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2767 Post by OFSO » Tue Dec 03, 2019 11:59 am

The last Mondeo broadcast reversing peeps in various frequencies from all eight loudspeakers, the one nearest an object being loudest. After only a week I could park the car with my eyes shut. The new Mondeo estate has been simplified, fewer frequencies fewer loudspeakers. Still excellent and a pain in the arse when I change to one of our other, older cars with no sensors. The staff Fiesta is the worse. Bulbous fore and aft, like me.

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2768 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:36 pm

I have front and rear parking sensors. They work really well, the paint scariest on my bumpers polish out 😆

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2769 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Dec 03, 2019 12:39 pm

Went to Guernsey once and specified a Ford Fiesta Ghia as we were considering buying one. Arrived, asked to go to the office. They apologised that the Ghia wasn't wasn't available. Would I accept an upgrade? Mmm.

Then they took me out to a C-class Merc, 60 miles on the clock. Would this do? No additional fee either.

We didn't buy a Fiesta; we bought a C-Class instead😀

User avatar
OFSO
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 18601
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2770 Post by OFSO » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:07 pm

Driving through a swarm of insects causes all sorts of unexpected beeps from the front sensors. As does backing into a, well what's the expression ? A flock? An odiferousness ? A nuisance ? of French pedestrians. C'mon, Cape, what's the noun for French en masse ?

User avatar
Fox3WheresMyBanana
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 12987
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
Location: Great White North
Gender:
Age: 61

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2771 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:22 pm

A Surrender

Capetonian

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2772 Post by Capetonian » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:43 pm

Un mauvais odeur?
Un montagne de merde?

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2773 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:52 pm

And don't you love it when having cleared left, right and rear you start reversing slowly only for the alarm to go off as some shopper thinks they are invulnerable.

jimtherev
Station Padre
Station Padre
Posts: 1417
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:40 pm
Location: A country mouse in Derbyshire
Gender:
Age: 85

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2774 Post by jimtherev » Tue Dec 03, 2019 6:15 pm

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 1:52 pm
And don't you love it when having cleared left, right and rear you start reversing slowly only for the alarm to go off as some shopper thinks they are invulnerable.
Even better with a hybrid: you've gottem before they realise you are there.
Ask me how I know.

bob2s
Capt
Capt
Posts: 1511
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:42 pm
Location: NSW Australia
Age: 79

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2775 Post by bob2s » Tue Dec 03, 2019 9:26 pm

Have a KIA Stinger which has front/rear sensors ,front rear camera with plan view of car on rear camera,, as well as side sensors for backing out of parking slot in shopping center,has protected the side of the car from a few trolley racers.The plan view is helpful when trying to get out of a spot when someone decides that if they park as close as possible to you that that will give them room to back up to get out.Useless barstewards!!

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2776 Post by Pontius Navigator » Tue Dec 03, 2019 10:27 pm

Bob, the one good mall car park here is Sainsbury with double lines at each slot. The worst is Waitrose in Stamford as no one drives a car. They drive oversized SUVs.

User avatar
ExSp33db1rd
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 3229
Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 1:51 am
Location: Lesser Antipode
Gender:
Age: 89

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2777 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:25 am

.
.........or any proper car rather some electronic overdesigned piece of garbage?
Here ! Here !

Am in the market for a small hatchback, and at a dealers the other day remarked that I wanted a car that I was in charge of, that didn't switch the engine off at Halt signs, or red lights, and didn't have an electronic female voice telling me what to do next, not even a GPS or moving map of any description, but a side door pocket that held a folded paper map might be useful ? He shook his head and remarked that they probably had nothing on the lot that would interest me.

The Toyota Rastis (?) interests me as it has a rear door that is almost square, i.e. the same width at the bottom as the top, and a very low rear step for easier loading, whereas most of the small hatchbacks have rear doors that taper towards the bottom, inside the rear lights, and generally a higher step to lift things over - why waste loading space ? Unfortunately my "man wot does" talked me out of a Rastis because the only ones available in New Zealand are pre-loved imports, not imported as "NZ New" or assembled here, so apparently spare parts could be difficult. Wish I hadn't taken any notice of him, the one that caught my eye has gone, considering looking for another.

User avatar
Rwy in Sight
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 6740
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2015 8:04 pm
Location: Lost in an FIR somewhere
Gender:

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2778 Post by Rwy in Sight » Wed Dec 04, 2019 6:03 am

ExSp33db1rd with all due respect I would say it is vital to be able to take every single gizmo off (even on a temporary basis). As a boss used to say they are built in the car (and the price anyway and it would cost more to take them out) plus within reason I see nothing it is completely useless. I would grant you here a point about the more equipment a car has the higher the chance of a problem hence the inconvenience of repairs. And a final point: I would argue for having a factory installed GPS : one of the most annoying situation in urban/highway driving is when a driver doesn't know the area and drives erratically causing problems to all drivers behind him/her. The last can be a rant people not knowing where they are going.

User avatar
OFSO
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 18601
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2779 Post by OFSO » Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:12 am

On the Ford, you simply turn off everything you don't want, such as stop start, parking sensors, external mirror folding, voice, auto door locks, and everything else. The only thing you can't turn off is idiot owners moaning about 'gadgets' when they can't be bothered to read the handbook and find they can be disconnected !

User avatar
Woody
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 10245
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
Age: 59

Re: Rant of the Day v2.

#2780 Post by Woody » Wed Dec 04, 2019 7:47 am

Going to have to disagree with you lot on this one, on my Audi the gearbox is automatic, the headlights are automatic, the windscreen wipers are automatic, cruise control for motorways, in fact the only weak spot is the driver :D
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Post Reply