Rant of the Day v2.

[Undried Plum]

25 on amazon.co.uk


Spear & Jackson, for when you're serious about revolting


..but of course by then you'll have a bazooka or two, I expect

Nah.

Sandbags and milkmaids.

[Magnus]

Odd ads recently advising you to put together an emergency pack you can grab when leaving the house. Uses the recent power cuts as an example, but advises packing a 'phone charger. Sigh.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The reason for that is when you get to a warming/emergency centre, you can use it there.
"No, you can't use our phones to call your family, we need them for operations. No, I don't have a charger for your phone. We do have power points and multiplug blocks."
In practice, it is one of the biggest practical problems in running an emergency centre (the others are bored kids and privacy).
Fox3 - Emergency centre manager course graduate

[1DC]

I have a very nice two pronged pitch fork hung up in my garage. It belonged to my late gardener who was a retired farm labourer, he bequeathed it to me because i had always admired it. He was a lovely chap who always had the garden in perfect condition with what seemed to be less than half of the effort that i used.

[Undried Plum]

I remember that in the mid-1970s Duncan Campbell obtained and published the emergency preparedness plan for Edinburgh in the event of nuclear war.

The plan was that the cops and the army would seal off the city at Barnton and Newbridge and at all the nodes along what is now the city bypass to prevent the townsfolk from escaping the wreckage of the city and marauding Lothian farmland in search of food.

He gave the details at a public meeting in The Playhouse following a showing of the then censored and suppressed documentary film whose name I can't immediately remember.

ps The War Game

The scariest part was that they were going to give GPMGs, Stens and SLRs to traffic wardens (forerunners of the present day Blue Meanies) to enforce the ban on escape and to imprison caught escapers in tennis courts.

[ian16th]

I remember that in the mid-1970s Duncan Campbell obtained and published the emergency preparedness plan for Edinburgh in the event of nuclear war.

The plan was that the cops and the army would seal off the city at Barnton and Newbridge and at all the nodes along what is now the city bypass to prevent the townsfolk from escaping the wreckage of the city and marauding Lothian farmland in search of food.

He gave the details at a public meeting in The Playhouse following a showing of the then censored and suppressed documentary film whose name I can't immediately remember.

pp The War Game

The scariest part was that they were going to give GPMGs, Stens and SLRs to traffic wardens (forerunners of the present day Blue Meanies) to enforce the ban on escape and to imprison caught escapers in tennis courts.

When the Greek v Turk trouble blew up in Cyprus, 1963-4, the most disconcerting thing was the instantly recruited Greek-Cypriot 'Policemen' who were put in the uniform of denims and a police cap, were given Sten guns and were waving them about with gay abandon.

One time we were on my scooter at a road block, and one of these new recruits had his Sten pointed at my wife.
I very gently drew his attention to this and asked him to point it elsewhere. An older police Sgt witnessed this and pulled the youth aside and gave him a hell of a b*llocking.

Sten's were temperamental weapons with a mind of their own.

[Smeagol]

Talk of sten guns being pointed at people reminds me of the period I worked in Kuwait. My employer's office was located in Shuwaik port which meant going through the gate guarded by some form of armed, uniformed police or military personnel every day and sometimes several times per day. This meant that I was a fairly familiar figure to these guards who were supposed to search every vehicle and often they were more interested in trying to converse with me in English than search my car. Unfortunately, this often meant that a guard was leaning in the drivers window trying to hold a conversation whilst the sub-machine gun slung over his shoulder was scraping around the window and occasionally pointing at my chest! I never knew if the guns were loaded but I always breathed at little easier when the guard withdrew his head...and his gun and waved me through

[1DC]

In the sixties when the Nigerian civil war was on the causeway across the top of Lagos harbour had a road block at each end. Our Chief mate was coming across in a taxi with his wife, they were stopped at the beginning of the causeway, showed their passports and the taxi was searched.At the other end the taxi was stopped again passports were shown the boot of the taxi opened and all hell broke loose. One of the guards pulled a gun out of the boot and mate, wife and taxi driver were pulled from the car and made to lie on the floor while crazy Nigerian soldiers pointed guns at them and screamed and shouted unintelligible instructions. AS they became more and more agitated shouting was heard and a soldier came running down the causeway and claimed the gun he had left in the boot when he searched it. This caused great hilarity among the guards and when the mate, wife and taxi driver realised that they were no longer of interest they quickly got in the taxi and carried on back to the ship..

[Smeagol]

In the sixties when the Nigerian civil war was on the causeway across the top of Lagos harbour had a road block at each end. Our Chief mate was coming across in a taxi with his wife, they were stopped at the beginning of the causeway, showed their passports and the taxi was searched.At the other end the taxi was stopped again passports were shown the boot of the taxi opened and all hell broke loose. One of the guards pulled a gun out of the boot and mate, wife and taxi driver were pulled from the car and made to lie on the floor while crazy Nigerian soldiers pointed guns at them and screamed and shouted unintelligible instructions. AS they became more and more agitated shouting was heard and a soldier came running down the causeway and claimed the gun he had left in the boot when he searched it. This caused great hilarity among the guards and when the mate, wife and taxi driver realised that they were no longer of interest they quickly got in the taxi and carried on back to the ship..

Exactly the same thing happened to one of the Philipino draughtsmen who worked for me in Kuwait, except he drove into the office car park unknowingly with a gun in the boot of his car. he got arrested about an hour later when the army came to get their gun back. Normal procedure for Kuwait; whatever happens it's your fault! Was released fairly swiftly though.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

After a flying suit swap at an airshow, I discovered I had the deputy Base Commander's Access All Areas pass in the pocket. Actually, I didn't directly discover it; I was awoken early the next morning by two very large and very armed USAF Policemen, who proceeded to ask me if I still had said USAF flying suit, and could they look in the pockets? Satisfied that I had not made off with any missiles, bombs, etc., they reclaimed the pass and politely departed.
Apparently, some of the bombs were quite special....

[OFSO]

Eurostar has announced a sale of tickets over the next few months and encouraged by this I bought the returns for our Christmas month. Or tried to. Idiots have done their usual redesign of the web page and nobody there has tried it out themselves. And needless to say, no instructions. And new site has abandoned previous "select outgoing date, then time, then return date, then time" philosophy and it's now "select outgoing date, then incoming date, then outgoing time, then return time." But nowhere does it say this. Uslss Wnkrs. Then debit card refused, no reason. Same card worked with Pay Pal. Then on to SNCF to book rest of trip. Refreshingly honest: "no trains available on your selected dates."

Sigh.

[ricardian]

Honest sign!

[OFSO]

Cost of four coffees and inedible snacks on train and at Gare de Nord in Paris, over fifty quid. I know it's old-fashioned but from now on we're bringing from home sandwiches and a bottle of Ricard for the journey.

[Undried Plum]

Instead, use it!

[Pontius Navigator]

How did he do that trick?

At least they weren't weaving up the road. Worse is a group together on up the road.

Lanzarote is worse, loads of those reclining bikes with diddy little flags.

[TheGreenGoblin]

I thought that that Cummings diesel driver had been killed in this crash...



Maybe all Cummings diesel drivers have hearts as black as their truck's smoke!

[1DC]

I know I am getting on a bit and whinge occasionally, I used to be GOD (grumpy old Dad), then GOG (g.o.Granddad) and now GOB (g.o.Bastard) so feel i have learnt the right to say what i like.
Does anyone know why the young of today have to start any sentences they utter with the word SO and what does it mean exactly.. The family reckon it is the modern way and i should get with it instead of being grumpy about it..

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The starting of sentences with unnecessary adjectives, adverbs, etc is quite common in western cultures, and tends to be a fashion with a less than 10 year lifespan. You may remember back to everyone starting sentences with "Well,...", or "Basically,..". Or both

On the other hand, the ending of sentences with habitual words or phrases actually has several purposes, such as eliciting agreement, or as a soft signal that allows for the conversation speaker to handover or continue speaking, isn't it? Know what I mean? Eh?


There are several theories as to why unnecessary words are used. My personal theory is that there are several reasons for "So" being used. Many do it because they are used to hearing it, and feel it is a convention. Some do it because they are somewhat nervous about initiating speech, and "So" acts as an icebreaker and ensures attention, whilst also implying that the conversation has already started and that this interjection is not their first utterance. Others do it to establish a superior position of implied expertise (i.e. It is so).
It has been my experience that an immediate, direct answer, outside of the military/aviation, can often be interpreted as abrupt and arrogant, especially if the answer is simply "No.". A lot of people consider the social status and grooming of the structure of conversation more important than the actual content. This is often the case when their conversation normally has little important content. Preceding a direct answer with a silent pause is better received, as the other person then feels you have listened carefully and have thought about your response. So ( ), adding in the phrase du jour is best received, as it means one is socialising conventionally.

It does of course vary from place to place. Here, it is normal simply to remain completely silent when someone asks about a person or thing about which one has nothing good to say, and the silence is not taken as offensive or cryptic.

[OFSO]

Just put the pedal to the metal and pump A LOT of diesel into the motor. Doesn't work with modern European diesels, although the US Army has multi-fuel motors that smoke no matter whether they run on petrol or diesel.

[PHXPhlyer]

I am tired of every customer service person, bank teller, etc. responding to each answered question with a reply of "Perfect". If I give the wrong answer will they say "Imperfect"?

GRR
PP