Rant of the Day v2.

[Hydromet]

Why do wives not just tell you WHAT they they want doing but HOW to do it ?

Especially things that you have been doing all your life, but they have never done. E.g. gardening, car washing, lawn mowing....

[OFSO]

....and sex. Infuriating being told how to do that. Especially when you're not the gardener, chaffeur, etc...

[Pontius Navigator]

If SWMBO is cooking and I enter the work area, possibly to clear up the discards, I am shouted at "I am trying to cook"

Sunday GD requests waffles. All ingredients set out on counter. Utensils and bowls readied, waffle maker set to heat. Crack eggs and put shells in bin. Beat eggs and start to combine ingredients when SWMBO queries ingredients and also gets between me and mixing bowl. Ingredients identical to those used 2 days before. And didn't dare complain.

Then daughter asks why I am using oil and not marge
BECAUSE MY RECIPE USES OIL.

And all utensils used in dish washer before cooking waffles.

[Pontius Navigator]

Or "you never clean the inside of the car"

My side is clean, no wipes, receipts, tissues etc.

Also, when we stop, I switch off, unstrap, get out . . . . and wait.

Now I switch off, unstrap, and wait and wait out of the bitter wind.

"What are you waiting for?"

[1DC]

I have finally figured that out Pontius I never get out of the car now until Herself is definitely out before me, unless we are in a car park and i have to get the parking ticket.Then i have to wait.. I always put the bog seat down as well because i get the satisfaction of knowing if she is next she will have to lift it up and won't be able to ask why why i didn't put it down when i had finished...

[Pontius Navigator]

Do they go to wives' school and graduate with a nag certificate?

[OFSO]

Oh Pontius Mon Ami, how bloody true. They all do it....I heard a male relative (Irish) yesterday muttering under his breath as he received an order from his wife "yes m'dear an' after that I'll be just off to kill mesel'"

[G-CPTN]

It's what makes them suited to look after and raise children.

[Pontius Navigator]

Oh Pontius Mon Ami, how bloody true. They all do it....I heard a male relative (Irish) yesterday muttering under his breath as he received an order from his wife "yes m'dear an' after that I'll be just off to kill mesel'"

My response is usually "what do you not want me to do then"?

Oh, and " yes Sir " really winds her up.

[Pontius Navigator]

At least KnC won't have this trouble

[llondel]

I have finally figured that out Pontius I never get out of the car now until Herself is definitely out before me, unless we are in a car park and i have to get the parking ticket.Then i have to wait.. I always put the bog seat down as well because i get the satisfaction of knowing if she is next she will have to lift it up and won't be able to ask why why i didn't put it down when i had finished...

I always put the seat down, and the lid too. I once dropped something in the toilet and had to fish it out, so I learned for that reason. Now we have other reasons too, because the dogs will drink from the toilet bowl if the lid is up.

I find that the teenager is also tardy getting out of the car, by the time he packs up his electronics and loses a race with a stream of treacle. This past weekend I told him five minutes before we arrived that I wanted him packed up and ready to leap out of the car and amazingly it worked.

[Pontius Navigator]

Well Mrs PN does prepare to leap out. As soon as we set off she touches up her make up.

She doesn't realise what a tribute this is to my driving skills. But she also tells me I an going too fast when I am with a stream of traffic or too slow if we are visiting her mother regardless of us bring in a stream of traffic. Of course she is a better driver than me ad I never criticise her driving.

[jimtherev]

There is this, however, I always, but always have the last word.

It's 'Yes dear.'

[1DC]

When the grandson was about five or six he came for the weekend and Mrs 1DC picked him up, when taking him home i was driving. Mrs 1DC came out with the usual,"you are driving too fast" The little treasure sat in his car seat in the back ,says " but you were doing 80 when you brought me, Nanna". Response, Yes, but, Grandad isn't like Nanna"

[boing]

My Mother did not drive.
After taking her out for fresh air one day she commented that my driving was excellent - and I never exceeded 45 mph.
Mystified we dug a little deeper - turns out she had been watching the oil pressure gauge (remember those?).

.

[Pontius Navigator]

1DC, I am going to have to train my grand daughter.

[CharlieOneSix]

.....but you were doing 80....

Mrs C16 borrowed my car one day, something she only does once in a blue moon. On her way home on the dual carriageway she phones me (handsfree I hasten to add). During the conversation I hear a beeping noise. "What's that, something is beeping at me" says Mrs C16. I then inform her that she's doing more than 80 as the noise is the speed warning I'd set up for myself in the car.....

[CharlieOneSix]

I'm all for peaceful demonstrations having taken part in a couple over the years. However these Extinction Rebellion campaigners in London have gone too far with their attempts to shut London traffic down.

The protesters who superglued their hands to the chassis of a lorry on Waterloo Bridge should have been left to their own devices. Once they have pissed and shat themselves a couple of times then maybe they wouldn't be so keen to protest in that manner in future.

[G-CPTN]

Bring back Boris's water cannon.

[Slasher]

The protesters who superglued their hands to the chassis of a lorry on Waterloo Bridge should have been left to their own devices. Once they have pissed and shat themselves a couple of times then maybe they wouldn't be so keen to protest in that manner in future.

Global warming fcukwits at their best. If I was the lorry driver I would've just kept going and ploughed through anything ahead.