For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

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For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#1 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 2:49 pm

Hebrews 13:2 2Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
But it is not the Holy Book that our good friends the Ex-Ascot's will need to meet the rigors of entertaining the Panics who are en route to darkest Africa...





In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire
To tear their clothes off and perspire
It's one of those rules that the greatest fools obey
Because the sun is much too sultry
And one must avoid its ultra violet ray
Papalaka papalaka papalaka boo
Papalaka papalaka papalaka boo
Digariga digariga digariga doo
Digariga digariga digariga doo
The native grieve when the white
Men leave their huts, because
They're obviously definitely nuts!
Mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun
The Japanese don't care to
The Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindoos and Argentines sleep
Firmly from twelve to one
But Englishmen detest a siesta
In the Philippines
There are lovely screens
To protect you from the glare
In the Malay States
There are hats like plates
Which the Britishers won't wear
At twelve noon the natives swoon
And no further work is done
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun
It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see
That though the English are effete
They're quite impervious to heat
When the white man rides every native hides in glee
Because the simple creatures hope he
Will impale his solar topee on a tree
Bolyboly bolyboly bolyboly baa
Bolyboly bolyboly bolyboly baa
Habaninny habaninny habaninny haa
Habaninny habaninny habaninny haa
It seems such a shame
When the English claim
The earth that they give rise to
Such hilarity and mirth
Mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The toughest Burmese bandit
Can never understand it
In Rangoon the heat of noon
Is just what the natives shun
They put their Scotch or Rye down
And lie down in a jungle town
Where the sun beats down
To the rage of man and beast
The English garb
Of the English sahib
Merely gets a bit more creased
In Bangkok
At twelve o'clock
They foam at the mouth and run
Slut mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun
Mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
The smallest Malay rabbit
Deplores this stupid habit in Hongkong
They strike a gong and
Fire off a noonday gun
To reprimand each inmate
Who's in late
In the mangrove swamps
Where the python romps
There is peace from twelve till two
Even caribous
Lie around and snooze
For there's nothing else
To do in Bengal to move
At all is seldom, if ever done
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun

Songwriters: Noel Coward

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#2 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:01 pm

For Ex-Ascot himself perhaps.

Smart and certainly military....JPG
Smart and certainly military....JPG (27.51 KiB) Viewed 662 times

For those that want to keep a cool head while all those around them are losing theirs!

Dont Panic.JPG
Dont Panic.JPG (15.95 KiB) Viewed 662 times
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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#3 Post by OFSO » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:03 pm

Rumour abounds that for the other end of the planet, he also penned "Esquimo Nell"......

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#4 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:08 pm

OFSO wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:03 pm
Rumour abounds that for the other end of the planet, he also penned "Esquimo Nell"......
Sung by many a smutty boy scout (including me) at campfires all over the English speaking world! An English genius! But perhaps the Panics might have been too much even for Noel Coward!



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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#5 Post by Boac » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:11 pm

Caco - are you expecting ex-A to take the pith?

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#6 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:16 pm

Of course the Ex-Ascot's could go all Steam Punk...

Going Steam Punk.jpg
Going Steam Punk.jpg (46.57 KiB) Viewed 651 times
For Mrs Ex-Ascot perhaps.JPG
For Mrs Ex-Ascot perhaps.JPG (43.47 KiB) Viewed 651 times

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#7 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:19 pm

Boac wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:11 pm
Caco - are you expecting ex-A to take the pith?

=))

I'll keep my expectations under my hat!

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#8 Post by Ibbie » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:23 pm

The ghost of Ken Dodd coming to visit ex-A?

]https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j ... J_Sg9teVuI

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#9 Post by Magnus » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:24 pm

Caco, if she turns quickly, I imagine a beatific smile might ensue!

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#10 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:35 pm

Magnus wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:24 pm
Caco, if she turns quickly, I imagine a beatific smile might ensue!
=))

News of the Panic's arrival has not been met well by apes all over the African continent...



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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#11 Post by Cacophonix » Mon Oct 22, 2018 3:40 pm

Meanwhile on board Squiffy Pussy the Ex-Ascots plot their escape to Monte Carlo.



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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#12 Post by Slasher » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:08 pm

I see TS in a more defensive role and at the lagoon Caco.

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#13 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:33 pm

Caco I know you are taking the pith but what do you think I wear when in command of the vessel. Hardly a flat cap.

Squiffy Pussy III's new name plates below. Preferred the old ones but they fell apart. These have been burnt in by laser. I really wanted dark wood and gold lettering like we used to have. Oh well.

OK Caco I said I should start a thread about this visit, you have done it for me. Watch this space.

Just had an e-mail:
Final preparations proceeding
They don't leave until Thursday and they are 1st class hand baggage only. I tell you, he thinks that he coming here to find the source of the Nile. Bet Dr Livingstone didn't make such a fuss when preparing.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#14 Post by Cacophonix » Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:58 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 12:33 pm
Caco I know you are taking the pith but what do you think I wear when in command of the vessel. Hardly a flat cap.

Squiffy Pussy III's new name plates below. Preferred the old ones but they fell apart. These have been burnt in by laser. I really wanted dark wood and gold lettering like we used to have. Oh well.
They don't leave until Thursday and they are 1st class hand baggage only. I tell you, he thinks that he coming here to find the source of the Nile. Bet Dr Livingstone didn't make such a fuss when preparing.
[/quote]

A flat cap Sir! I would never impugn your honour by thinking, least of all uttering, such a dreadful thought!

I have come across a sketch that can do scant justice to the reality of your coming meeting with the Panics at Maun! Mr Panic is the chap with the flat cap by the way!

Mr Panic I presume - famous meeting near Maun.JPG
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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#15 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:42 pm

Honestly folks this is going to be hilarious. The Lady is cool, he is not. The first time we get a big cat right by the vehicle he is going to freak out. We still have to get past his first night here in the bush. In fact right at this minute we have our teenager boy hippo (Harry) out at the front. A friend of ours on Amorgos wants photos of him here. I said; Which particular photo do you require? ‘im being chased by a lion, ‘im held aloft by an elephant, ‘im being dragged underwater by a croc or ‘im in straight jacket being stretchered off to the nearest nut house.

As I say watch this space for live reporting. Can't report when in the Delta from next week and it may take some time to write up the saga. In fact I see a new book: 'Mr Panic in the Bush'. I think that in the subsequent movie Rowan Atkinson should play the part.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#16 Post by Cacophonix » Tue Oct 23, 2018 1:51 pm

Just remember to keep Mr Panic off local bicycles, but if he has to cycle, make sure it is a Raleigh.

Raleigh....JPG
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I trust his good lady wife's bathing ensemble matches the tranquil ambience of your new pool and paving. ;)))

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#17 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:24 pm

Caco, the Lady is indeed very elegant and will match in perfectly. He can rest his accountant's beer belly on the side. A bit unfair. He is great fun. We are going to have an absolute hoot.

Don't think we are going to have such a fuss from another forum member visiting us next year.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#18 Post by Cacophonix » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:04 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 2:24 pm
Caco, the Lady is indeed very elegant and will match in perfectly. He can rest his accountant's beer belly on the side. A bit unfair. He is great fun. We are going to have an absolute hoot.

Don't think we are going to have such a fuss from another forum member visiting us next year.
If you are talking about who I think you are talking about then I would suggest that you remove anything that connotes of France, like your pair of beautiful but slightly pornographic Napoleonic prints of Josephine in her revealing French négligé behind the whisky decanter in the estate bar. You know how he is about anything Gallic? He will start spluttering and ranting and filling your best Calvados with bile if he catches sight of them! ;)))

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#19 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:04 pm

Caco, my dear chap, we protect our guests anonymity. It could be Prince Harry. He usually stays just down river from us. It could be Lily who we plan to feed to the crocs. It could be TL who we plan to feed to the crocs bit by bit. Or indeed RiS who refuses to get on a ship so will not see us on Amorgos on his own soil but may be persuaded to get on an aircraft down here.

Sunset drinkies on our newly paved veranda.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: For the Ex-Ascots have entertained angels unwares!

#20 Post by Cacophonix » Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:28 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:04 pm
Caco, my dear chap, we protect our guests anonymity. It could be Prince Harry. He usually stays just down river from us. It could be Lily who we plan to feed to the crocs. It could be TL who we plan to feed to the crocs bit by bit. Or indeed RiS who refuses to get on a ship so will not see us on Amorgos on his own soil but may be persuaded to get on an aircraft down here.

Sunset drinkies on our newly paved veranda.

Well, I respect your discretion, sensibilities and your approach to client confidentiality but if it is "old you know who" then none of this kind of thing on the old wireless or whatever? =))

Don't say I didn't warn you! ;)))



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