Darwin Awards 2019
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18703
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
It does occur to me that if one wanted to eliminate large numbers of Nigerians all one would have to do is (a) create a large pool of petrol and (b) hand out free cigarettes as dash. There seems the same inability to associate inflammable liquids and a source of ignition in the African mind as a lack of oxygen and heat in the wheel wells of an airliner.
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
That's down to the impressive belief of the true Darwin candidate who thinks it can't be that bad and that they're capable of overcoming it. It can't happen to me, I'm invulnerable. Then too late the accuracy of the statement is called into question.OFSO wrote: ↑Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:35 amIt does occur to me that if one wanted to eliminate large numbers of Nigerians all one would have to do is (a) create a large pool of petrol and (b) hand out free cigarettes as dash. There seems the same inability to associate inflammable liquids and a source of ignition in the African mind as a lack of oxygen and heat in the wheel wells of an airliner.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Well spotted. Survivors who had witnessed the accident before being killed in the explosion
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Not sure if this counts, but it's certainly creative.
A British pensioner dropped dead in a cinema while watching a horror movie.
Bernard Channing, a 77-year-old tourist from Gedling, Notts, had been to see Annabelle Comes Home last night while on holiday in Pattaya, Thailand.
But when the film finished and the lights were turned on, a shocked guest sitting next to the pensioner noticed he was dead.
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18703
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Obviously the shocked guest was not British. After standing for the National Anthem one looks straight ahead while exiting the place of entertainment. If one accidently sees anything untoward such as persons indulging in sexual congress with harlots, eating durian, or dying, one clenches one's jaw, breathes in sharply, (although not if durian is being consumed) mutters 'wogs !' (where appropriate) and steps out sharply to where one's motor vehicle awaits gently purring by the pavement. One leaves remarking on the dead and dying to one's staff.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 3484
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 12:42 pm
- Location: Edinburgh
- Gender:
- Age: 71
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
OFSO, what is the correct protocol if one witnesses persons indulging in sexual congress with durian?
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
David was dared to eat a gecko at a party. He died 10 days later. (Gecko - very common small lizard).
https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 51zhc.htmlFather-of-three David Dowell was in "absolute agony" before he died, suffering from a salmonella infection potentially caused by a Christmas party dare involving a gecko.
Rev Mother Bene Gesserit.
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Positive effort but lack of originality.
Two Brits fell 30ft off a cliff in Torrevieja trying to take a selfie. A third survived.
Two Brits fell 30ft off a cliff in Torrevieja trying to take a selfie. A third survived.
- Stoneboat
- Capt
- Posts: 1947
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 9:09 pm
- Location: 50-13.5N/66-16.0W
- Gender:
- Age: 77
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Tried hen gliding and parrot shooting did they?Pontius Navigator wrote: ↑Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:07 pmPositive effort but lack of originality.
Two Brits fell 30ft off a cliff in Torrevieja trying to take a selfie. A third survived.
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Makes a change from the usual "dare to eat a garden slug" deaths from rat lung worm virus.Alisoncc wrote: ↑Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:48 pmDavid was dared to eat a gecko at a party. He died 10 days later. (Gecko - very common small lizard).https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 51zhc.htmlFather-of-three David Dowell was in "absolute agony" before he died, suffering from a salmonella infection potentially caused by a Christmas party dare involving a gecko.
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Sorry being off topic but what's with all this 'partner' crap? Have the crazy left PC loons down there outlawed the correct pronoun 'wife'?
Calling one's woman 'partner' inferred either one was shacked up, she's a piece of fluff on the side, or who one dances with.
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Probably because she is not his wife?
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
I worked with a bloke who had several children with his partner (not his wife).
He was involved in a serious road collision (at work as a passenger in a test vehicle) which hospitalised him with life-threatening injuries - from which he recovered.
The first thing he did was to marry his long-term partner (if he had died there would have been no payout as they were not married).
He was involved in a serious road collision (at work as a passenger in a test vehicle) which hospitalised him with life-threatening injuries - from which he recovered.
The first thing he did was to marry his long-term partner (if he had died there would have been no payout as they were not married).
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18703
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
I was at the funeral of a colleague where his wife and children, weeping at the open grave, were joined by a second 'wife' and several more children, also weeping. He was German and a Herr Dr Dr. How degenerate!
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5986
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10278
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 59
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
Could be the largest Darwin Award ever
It started as a bit of a joke, but now the US Air Force has told people not to go near Area 51.
More than a million people have RSVP'd to an event on Facebook, threatening to storm the top-secret base in Nevada, which some believe is home to aliens.
Thousands have commented on the page, which reads: "We can move faster than their bullets. Let's see them aliens."
A spokeswoman for the Air Force has told The Washington Post it is "ready to protect America and its assets".
Facebook user Jackson Barnes wrote on the event page: "Hello US government, this is a joke, and I do not actually intend to go ahead with this plan".
"I just thought it would be funny and get me some thumbsy uppies on the Internet. I'm not responsible if people decide to actually storm area 51."
But the Air Force isn't seeing the funny side.
"[Area 51] is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces," the spokeswoman said.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Re: Darwin Awards 2019
A bonus for America would be the four members of the Dem's freshman Squad out there in front leading the charge.
No hang on wait a minute...
No hang on wait a minute...