Darwin Awards 2019

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OFSO
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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#81 Post by OFSO » Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:35 am

It does occur to me that if one wanted to eliminate large numbers of Nigerians all one would have to do is (a) create a large pool of petrol and (b) hand out free cigarettes as dash. There seems the same inability to associate inflammable liquids and a source of ignition in the African mind as a lack of oxygen and heat in the wheel wells of an airliner.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#82 Post by llondel » Thu Jul 04, 2019 2:54 pm

OFSO wrote:
Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:35 am
It does occur to me that if one wanted to eliminate large numbers of Nigerians all one would have to do is (a) create a large pool of petrol and (b) hand out free cigarettes as dash. There seems the same inability to associate inflammable liquids and a source of ignition in the African mind as a lack of oxygen and heat in the wheel wells of an airliner.
That's down to the impressive belief of the true Darwin candidate who thinks it can't be that bad and that they're capable of overcoming it. It can't happen to me, I'm invulnerable. Then too late the accuracy of the statement is called into question.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#83 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Jul 04, 2019 3:02 pm

Well spotted. Survivors who had witnessed the accident before being killed in the explosion

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#84 Post by llondel » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:40 pm

Not sure if this counts, but it's certainly creative.
A British pensioner dropped dead in a cinema while watching a horror movie.

Bernard Channing, a 77-year-old tourist from Gedling, Notts, had been to see Annabelle Comes Home last night while on holiday in Pattaya, Thailand.

But when the film finished and the lights were turned on, a shocked guest sitting next to the pensioner noticed he was dead.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#85 Post by OFSO » Thu Jul 04, 2019 8:35 pm

Obviously the shocked guest was not British. After standing for the National Anthem one looks straight ahead while exiting the place of entertainment. If one accidently sees anything untoward such as persons indulging in sexual congress with harlots, eating durian, or dying, one clenches one's jaw, breathes in sharply, (although not if durian is being consumed) mutters 'wogs !' (where appropriate) and steps out sharply to where one's motor vehicle awaits gently purring by the pavement. One leaves remarking on the dead and dying to one's staff.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#86 Post by Magnus » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:15 am

OFSO, what is the correct protocol if one witnesses persons indulging in sexual congress with durian?

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#87 Post by ian16th » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:42 am

Cynicism improves with age

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#88 Post by Alisoncc » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:48 pm

David was dared to eat a gecko at a party. He died 10 days later. (Gecko - very common small lizard).
Father-of-three David Dowell was in "absolute agony" before he died, suffering from a salmonella infection potentially caused by a Christmas party dare involving a gecko.
https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 51zhc.html
Rev Mother Bene Gesserit.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#89 Post by G-CPTN » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:52 pm

Alisoncc wrote:
Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:48 pm
David was dared to eat a gecko at a party.

He won't do that again . . .

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#90 Post by Pontius Navigator » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:07 pm

Positive effort but lack of originality.

Two Brits fell 30ft off a cliff in Torrevieja trying to take a selfie. A third survived.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#91 Post by Stoneboat » Fri Jul 05, 2019 10:27 pm

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:07 pm
Positive effort but lack of originality.

Two Brits fell 30ft off a cliff in Torrevieja trying to take a selfie. A third survived.
Tried hen gliding and parrot shooting did they?

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#92 Post by Hydromet » Fri Jul 05, 2019 11:22 pm

Alisoncc wrote:
Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:48 pm
David was dared to eat a gecko at a party. He died 10 days later. (Gecko - very common small lizard).
Father-of-three David Dowell was in "absolute agony" before he died, suffering from a salmonella infection potentially caused by a Christmas party dare involving a gecko.
https://www.smh.com.au/national/queensl ... 51zhc.html
Makes a change from the usual "dare to eat a garden slug" deaths from rat lung worm virus.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#93 Post by ribrash » Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:28 am

Image

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#94 Post by Slasher » Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:52 am

Sorry being off topic but what's with all this 'partner' crap? Have the crazy left PC loons down there outlawed the correct pronoun 'wife'?

Calling one's woman 'partner' inferred either one was shacked up, she's a piece of fluff on the side, or who one dances with.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#95 Post by Boac » Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:09 pm

Probably because she is not his wife?

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#96 Post by G-CPTN » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:04 pm

I worked with a bloke who had several children with his partner (not his wife).
He was involved in a serious road collision (at work as a passenger in a test vehicle) which hospitalised him with life-threatening injuries - from which he recovered.
The first thing he did was to marry his long-term partner (if he had died there would have been no payout as they were not married).

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#97 Post by OFSO » Tue Jul 16, 2019 5:19 pm

I was at the funeral of a colleague where his wife and children, weeping at the open grave, were joined by a second 'wife' and several more children, also weeping. He was German and a Herr Dr Dr. How degenerate!

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#98 Post by ricardian » Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:36 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#99 Post by Woody » Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:23 am

Could be the largest Darwin Award ever :D
It started as a bit of a joke, but now the US Air Force has told people not to go near Area 51.
More than a million people have RSVP'd to an event on Facebook, threatening to storm the top-secret base in Nevada, which some believe is home to aliens.
Thousands have commented on the page, which reads: "We can move faster than their bullets. Let's see them aliens."
A spokeswoman for the Air Force has told The Washington Post it is "ready to protect America and its assets".
Facebook user Jackson Barnes wrote on the event page: "Hello US government, this is a joke, and I do not actually intend to go ahead with this plan".
"I just thought it would be funny and get me some thumbsy uppies on the Internet. I'm not responsible if people decide to actually storm area 51."
But the Air Force isn't seeing the funny side.
"[Area 51] is an open training range for the US Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces," the spokeswoman said.
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Darwin Awards 2019

#100 Post by Slasher » Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:51 am

A bonus for America would be the four members of the Dem's freshman Squad out there in front leading the charge.

No hang on wait a minute...

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