Misuse of English as she should be spoken.

[ian16th]

And just as soon as the cousins start having a crack, I give you .....Arkansas

I know a poor sod who lives there; Bentonville to be precise.

[ian16th]

Any none locals know how to pronounce Chop Gate, N. Yorks.

[CharlieOneSix]

Some Scottish place names that our English visitors have difficulty with and their phonetic solutions as near as I can get them:

Kilmacolm - Kill-ma-comb
Kingussie - Kin-u-sea
Peterculter - Petercooter
Lesmahagow - Les-ma-hay-go
Alford - the Scottish one, not the one in Lincolnshire - Af-ford
Kilconquhar - Kin-uck-are
Culzean- Kull-ane
Garioch - Gear-ree
Findochty - Fin-eck-tay
Freuchie - Froo-kay

...and for amusement we have Dull near Aberfeldy and Twatt in Orkney.

[Sisemen]

The one that always amazed me was Coire an t-sneachda in the Cairngorms. Apparently it’s pronounced Corry an Trech!

[Pontius Navigator]

Cor na ciche

[1DC]

Friend worked in Orkney for a while and went to Twatt, he got talking to a bloke in a pub who told him that Twatt was a surname but over the years most people changed their name and it was hard to find one these days. He concluded by saying he was the only Twatt left on the island!! Mate often wondered if it was fact or the bloke was just taking the piss..

[Pontius Navigator]

Which leads nicely on to double entendre, all the funnier if they don't know:

Spare parts supplier:

Complete Tools

[CharlieOneSix]

Amazingly this is still a genuine website: www.speedofart.com

[ian16th]

Amazingly this is still a genuine website: www.speedofart.com

Fart is the Danish for Speed!

One more item from my infinite stock of trivia.

[Hydromet]

Another genuine one. http://www.penisland.net

[ExSp33db1rd]

Pratts Bottom, pronounced just as written, but who the hell wants to admit living there?

I grew up in Southport, then Lancs. now Merseyside for crissakes ! Between the suburbs of Hesketh Park and Churchtown was a
Cockle Dicks Lane.

Anyone know if it's still there ?

Later ... Google Earth confirms.

[Slasher]

http://www.penisland.net

Too scared to open that one with might I might see mate.

Doubt others will open it too!

[llondel]

there's also instances where English has taken something foreign and Anglicised it. On the A46 is a village called Petty France, which probably started life as "Petit" (possibly with an e on the end).

[Hydromet]

http://www.penisland.net

Too scared to open that one with might I might see mate.

Doubt others will open it too!

They sell custom made fountain pens. What on earth were you thinking?

[Slasher]

Well with a URL like that I thought it was a site with pics of big black dicks and selling huge dildos and vibrators!

I’m still not game to click on it...AND I’m having me brekky at the moment...so you’ll understand why!

[Sisemen]

Which leads nicely on to double entendre, all the funnier if they don't know:

Spare parts supplier:

Complete Tools

Western Australia - says it all really. A year or so ago there was a fatal crash involving kids in a stolen car at the crossroads where this store is and the headline in the paper read “Fatal accident by Total Tools” I suspect that the wording wasn’t accidental.

C3143C67-2AA0-4934-A9E7-CFC9DA79F197.jpeg (89.31 KiB) Viewed 213 times

[ExSp33db1rd]

Petty France ? Wasn't that - is it still - the address of the UK Passport Office ?

[llondel]

Petty France ? Wasn't that - is it still - the address of the UK Passport Office ?

It moved in 2002 according to Dr Google. Seems it's also a street name in London (which is where the UK Passport Office was). Probably the same root name though, although it might have been that a sign maker didn't know French and went for the closest English word.

[belfrybat]

If the members of the board feel that time is passing slowly we may have a chairman of the bored.

[Woody]

Oil Mill Lane, just off the A4 West London has always intrigued me