Best and Worst Hotel Experiences

[ian16th]

Not the best or worst, but an oddity.

At a pretty standard hotel in Tampere, Finland, the rooms had double doors.
Not double width, but one opening outwards into the corridor, and one inwards to the room.

Dunno if it was for insulation in the Arctic winter? I was there in the October.

[G-CPTN]

As an employee of a Danish Maersk subsidiary company I was sent to Hong Kong and was booked into the Maersk-owned five-star hotel.
When I arrived at the airport I picked up the hotel telephone (as I had been instructed) and announced my presence, to be told that there would be a delay - but that they would collect me.
In due course, a stretched white air-conditioned Rolls Royce arrived and I was chauffeured to the hotel where the manager awaited my arrival, and I was whisked-up to the penthouse suite.
The suite was large - very large - and was adorned with bowls of fresh fruit and personalised embossed stationery. A female member of staff was stationed immediately outside the door and I was to 'want for nothing'.

Although I continued to enjoy the trappings throughout my stay (with a chauffeured limousine at my beck and call) it seemed that, as an unknown visitor from 'head office' someone had decided that I was to be afforded the highest VIP treatment.
Even when I returned from trips to Singapore and Taiwan, my VIP treatment continued.

For the worst - I wouldn't know as I refused to stay in the run-down place that was booked for me in Cologne.

[CharlieOneSix]

My worst experience was back in the late 80's at the Hagdale Lodge on Unst, Britain's most northerly inhabited island in Shetland. We were based on the Safe Supporter, a semi-submersible accommodation rig in the Brent Oil Field, for a two week period shuttling workers to/from the Safe Supporter and workplace platforms. There was no hangar for the helicopter. It was winter and storm force winds were forecast so after completing the evening shuttle programme we ran for cover to Unst airfield where the Company had hangarage.

The nearby Baltasound Hotel was full with locally based helicopter crews so it was off to the Hagdale which was closed over the winter but we found a maintenance guy in the Baltasound bar with a key to let us in. There was no heating and after locating some bedding we slept in our survival suits to try and keep warm. A really miserable experience.

I'm pleased to report that the Hagdale Lodge was destroyed in a storm during the winter of 91/92.

[bob2s]

I can vouch for Hydro as to the Lyndhurst pub being the worst pub I have ever had the misfortune of staying in. Was back in 1966 on a ferry flight to Alice Spring in Bell 47,
and owing to the head winds light was coming up fast so it was to be Lyndhurst for the night.The room was as Hydro described, but the meal was bloody awful,corned beef that had all the tenderness of cow hide and peas that had wrinkles with mushy carrot.The first light of day was the most welcoming part of the stay there as it allowed us to get the hell out of the place. For some unknown reason the publican could not understand why we did not want breakfast before leaving.

[Hydromet]

Bob, we were there in '76. I think Bubble's father was the publican in '66, same build. I'm glad the cook had changed by the time we were there.

Bubble was a legend in his own never-ending lunchtime. He would balance with his gut resting on the bar and his feet off the ground, munching on a knob of salami that he'd cut off the selection hanging above the bar. Too bad if you were a fast drinker - no one was served until everyone's glass was empty, when he'd slide off the bar and fill everyone's glass, before remounting.

Sadly, Bubble came to grief lairising on a motorbike for a tourist bus. He broke his pelvis and was taken to Adelaide for medical treatment. Apparently, they put him on a crash diet before they could reset it, and he died.

Many stories about working in that area, might have to start a new thread.

[Mrs Ex-Ascot]

One of the worst has to be Mike's Hotel, Salema which we made the mistake of allowing a Witney travel agency to book us into, and stupidly believed that despite being February it was open all year and therefore would be fine. We arrived early evening in our hire car which fortunately we parked outside, and found Mike in the bar along with the British expat contingency swilling back the lager. Our apartment was decorated in 1970's style ie hadn't been tarted up in 25 years and smelt decidedly musty. We didn't unpack our bags or even undress; we lay on top of the bed not wanting to investigate the state of the sheets. We didn't sleep and the bed was so damp that our clothes were dripping wet. At dawn we decided to leave and found ourselves locked into the compound. This is where we ended up doing a Del Boy and Rodney escaping from the Mafia in Miami Twice; Ex-Ascot had to virtually throw me over the wall before clambering over it himself. Then we legged it in our hire car to a very nice Pousada in Sagres.

[Capetonian]

A client booked me into a Britannia hotel near Runcorn, which itself is a dump.
Fortunately I had the foresight to look the hotel up, when I saw that the average room rate was about £60 that was a massive warning sign. Reviews confirmed my worst fears, thus I had a lucky escape.

Another lucky escape was when checking into a hotel in Accra, on opening my door and switching on the light, was to see a NR lady who had installed herself on my bed. I didn't look closely enough to.see whether she was wearing black underwear or nothing, but she did remove herself on request.

I stayed in a Worst Western property in Paris where there was no running water in my room and when I complained to the manager he said : " Mais Monsieur, you are only staying Wiz us for three days, what ees ze problem?"

[Slasher]

Best and worst? After a 40 year span of airline nightstops I can’t see the trees for the forest.

The only best one I recall was the Hyatt Regency next to Bombay airport. Rooms were outstanding and your food and booze virtually free. Happy hour meant nothing. The riffraff had to check in at the busy Ground reception. None of that nonsense for crew. We were led to the Executive checkin at level 8 where we chose our own rooms. The nearby Executive bar was open 24/7 where one could also take one’s tailor-made brekky and dinner. Scrambled eggs and bacon with a good Scotch anyone?

The worst ever was one I stayed at in Calcutta many yonks ago. Mice in the cupboard, roaches in the bed, biting bugs in the sofa and cold water only for showering. Bottled water in the room was a hazard as it was actually tap water. The hotel food was safe as long as everything was cooked. Fresh salad was a huge no-no as the fertiliser was human sh!t and was not cleaned properly. Boiled water was safe. One captain copped Hep B from a salad that he said later looked and smelt ok.

India is a land of extremes.

For location the best was the Hilton Anchorage. Only a short walk to the F street bar, and a short taxi ride to The Bush Club. From there it was a short hop to a gas station restaurant that served a hamburger they called The Big Bugger. Big is an understatement. It was bloody huge!

[Woody]

A client booked me into a Britannia hotel near Runcorn, which itself is a dump.

Think that’s bad, once had to spend a week in the Brittania hotel in Stockport for a course, longest week of my life

[ExSp33db1rd]

No particular likes or dislikes come to mind, but some experiences.

Liked the "Old" Raffles in Singapore, one was alotted a room with a patio, on which breakfast was served even in late afternoon after an early morning arrival after a long night flight and an immediate sleep, and of course there was the Singapore Sling still served at an affordable price - until the "new" Raffles was created in the 1980's.

Often carried a little tape recorder to copy instructions about local, foreign, shopping requirements frequently telephoned to me by Mrs ExS. One day in the Nile Hilton, Cairo, I started recording as soon as I picked up the receiver, to be regaled by her furious tirade about how I had to report the stupid F*****g operator, who had three times refused to connect her - in those days expensive - international calls, claiming I wasn't a registered guest.

I went downstairs to find a busy reception desk, but earholed a vacant clerk and said I wished to report the telephone operator who had no apparent knowledge of my presence ? Oh, no sir, was the reply, not possible. Well listen tho this then, I said, giving the entire lobby an earful of my wife's displeasure. I was immediately ushered into an inner sanctum and eventually received an apology, a voucher for a free drink, and a fistful of Egyptian Pounds to help re-imburse my wife's expenses. Won one.

Arriving at a Middle East venue hotel in the wee small hours, as freighter crew, i.e. just four of us, we checked in and collected room keys, numbered 431 ( mine ) 433/435/437 ( or similar, all adjacent on the same side of the corridor ) , rode up in the elevator and walked down the corridor to the four rooms just vacated by the outgoing crew, and left with doors open as the staff had only just serviced them. Passing the first one the F/Eng. said " There's your room, Skipper, see you in the morning, Goodnight. Later that same day I was awakened by the F/Eng. complaining that my wife had woken him up 3 times having asked to be connected to my room. I placed a call to my wife, who immediately asked what room are you in ? I said how the hell do I know, I barely know which city I'm in at this early stage of a trip,I'll look at my key, and told her 431. Yes she said, that's what the operator keeps telling me, but I've woken your F/Eng three time so maybe the lines are crossed somewhere. When we had finished - and I had her shopping list ! - I got hold of the operator and explained the situation, and he agreed that the lines most be crossed in some way and that "they would look at it". When I eventually got up and dressed and left the room, I closed the door and saw the number - 437 !! Earlier all the doors had been open, so I didn't need key 431 to open room 437, and I had just accepted the F/Eng's assumption that the first room we came to was mine !!

On departure day Operations rang the F/Eng with the flight plan details ! To this day that hotel probably still has the wrong telephone numbers assigned to those two rooms !

Park Hotel, Kowloon, Hong Kong. The first Mrs. ExS was with me, and on departure failed to find a gold chain necklace that she was sure she had taken with her, and placed in a drawer that morning ( can't remember whether there was a safe in the room or not in those days ? ) Eventually I called security, suspicious of staff pilfering. He immediately went to the TV, which in those days had a little box on the top with a piece of cardboard advising of charges, slotted down the front. He removed the card and gave my wife her necklace, tucked in the space behind, back. It hasn't been stolen, he said, it hasn't left the room. Turned out that maids hid items awaiting guests departures, then when empy and before the next guests turned up they slipped in and "recovered" the items, by which time the guests had long gone, maybe not even realising that anything was missing, as might have happened to us had my wife not decided to wear that particular item on departure. Police ? Item not stolen or missing,now, and with the crew pick up waiting, I had no time. Always use room safes if available.

[Slasher]

Speaking of room numbers crossed I was staying at a Kinabalu hotel in town near the waterfront once, and I got a knock on the door at about 9am. A VERY attractive chick with quite nice tits and ass walked in as if she owned the joint.

She sat down on the bed and started stripping while she used the hotel phone telling someone she’d arrived. I didn’t understand Malay at that time but it’s what I surmised.

Standing up she removed her knickers and I must say looked damn nice indeed starkers.

“Would you like to begin sir? What would you like first?”
“Who are you?”
“Er...pardon?”
“Who are you honey?”
“I’m from the agency!”
“I didn’t order anyone from any agency!”
“You are Mr Smith?”
“Nope. Mr Slasher.”
“This is room 324?”
“Um...nope. This is room 342.”
“Eee! I make mistake so sorry!”

What got me was she immediately covered her tits and snatch and demanded 20 Malaysian Ringgit for seeing her naked. I said no but I’m only too happy to drag up the Manager from downstairs to sort this thing out. She left without a word.

Have to admit she was a stunner. Flipperine mix I’d say. Hope Mr Smith in room 324 had a good time!

[ExSp33db1rd]

..

........and a short taxi ride to The Bush Club.

Great Alaskan Bush Co. Waiting in Customs one day, our girls approached us and said " I guess you guys are all going to the Bush Club tonight ? " Of course. "Well, we want to go as well " Ok, see you in the lobby at 7.00 pm.

Duly arrived at the Bush Club, to see two naked men on the stage, and crowds of women watching, some of whom tore the picture of George Washington out of dollar bills, which they then proceeded to place over the ( use your imagination) of the nearest naked man. Our delighted girls joined them !

We went, dejectedly, to the bar, and the barman said " Don't worry guys, Thursday is male night, but it stops at 8.00 pm and gets back to normal. It did, and eventually the girls made their own way back to the hotel. (Slasher in those days - early 70"s - the Bush was downtown and easy walking distance, only later it moved slightly out of town necessitating a taxi. )

What was the name of that bar on the way to the Glacier - a popular trip for crew - The Somethinghouse ? sawdust on the floor and a barmaid called Ciel, with the biggest XXX's anyone has ever seen ? We walked in one Sunday lunchtime, and were invited to have a drink by Ciel herself. We were actually embarrassed at first sight, excused ourselves temproarily and repaired to the restroom to recover and consider our actions. Walking out Ciel shouted out - " you must be BOAC crew ? " Why, I replied, is it tattooed on our forehead ? " No, she replied, you talk funny, come and have a beer " We had been primed to order Schlitz, as that was kept in the bottom of the 'fridge, and she had to bend over to get it, so we got a fair view of her behind first, then .... well use your imagination!

After a couple of beers I said to her " My friend ( the F/O ) would love a photograph of your tits, do you mind ?" indicating the camera I had with me . No, she replied, but it's a bit dark in here, let's go outside. Once outside she stood against the wall, and I posed the F/O alongside. " Don't you want to hold them then ?" she asked him, and scooped them both out of her loose top and placed them in his hands. Next time I saw him he thanked me for the photograph, but admitted that he hadn't shown them to his wife !

[Pontius Navigator]

Not the best or worst, but an oddity.

At a pretty standard hotel in Tampere, Finland, the rooms had double doors.
Not double width, but one opening outwards into the corridor, and one inwards to the room.

Dunno if it was for insulation in the Arctic winter? I was there in the October.

About 50 years ago in Maribor in Yugoslavia was a magnificent, but run down, pre-war hotel. It had massive doors 8 feet or more high. I can't recall if the doors opened in or out but they opened to an identical inner set a couple of feet on. The rooms were not en suite but a bathroom was opposite. You could just make out the shower head, well out of reach. When showering you were really pelted as the fall was so great.

Oh there was another hotel, the first in Yugoslavia, in Rizaje, in the mountains. Magnificent auto route but getting dark and every 10 km an advert for this hotel. It was a triangle, all lit up and beckoning, but we'll beyond our budget. We stayed in the little hotel next door. Very basic but the stairs were carpeted; this covered the missing steps, but the room had a plug in the washbasin, a novelty after Turkey and Greece. Down stairs we had supper serviced by an elderly gent in DJ and black tie. Delicious chicken noodle soup, chicken liver omelette and Turkish coffee to follow. The lad serving this made a hash of it so DJ came bavkr, tutted, and showed him how to do it. Breakfast the following morning was omelette

[Slasher]

..........and a short taxi ride to The Bush Club.

Them’s were the days!

Actually I think it was known as The Bush Company. In any case there was certainly enough bush to go around!

[ExSp33db1rd]

Actually I think it was known as The Bush Company.

Correct, or simply the ABC ( Alaskan Bush Company )

[Slasher]

For an old bloke ExSp33d you have a damn good memory!

[ExSp33db1rd]

Some things you never forget.

( who's old ? )

[Pontius Navigator]

I remember the hotel we were put in in New Plymouth, wrong side of the tracks, rats thought so too, you could see them crossing.

Or a day hotel somewhere in Tamil Nadu, architecture and design like a prison, no bedding, laid a newspaper on the bed to lie on.

One in Turkey, 8/- B&B, you had to hold your breath in the Kazzi and come up for air half way.

[4mastacker]

A recently married Mrs 4ma and I stayed in a hotel near Tintagel many years ago. We should have taken booked out before even getting unpacked - the furniture had woodworm, the fire escape was over a garage roof and when we had the evening meal, the gravy had been thickened with HP brown sauce . We stayed only the one night and went elsewhere for the rest of the week.

Can't remember the name of the place and we couldn't find it the last time we were down that way - perhaps the woodworm had eaten it away.

[Pontius Navigator]

ExSp reminds me of a girl propping up the bar in Thessalonika, or rather using the bar to prop up. Now she was a 4-in hand job. There was more there than one man could manage.