Best and Worst Hotel Experiences

[OFSO]

Staying in the Hotel Vaugirard in the rue Vaugirard (incidentally the longest street in Paris) with my number two, the lovely Elke. We both picked up the others room keys, which is why I answered the phone at 3 am to a furious boyfriend of Elkes demanding to know why I was in her room....the moral to this is if you are going to be wrongly accused of adulterous skulduggery, you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb....

[Ex-Ascot]

Then there was this place (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rossiya_Hotel) where we used to stay before a Kempinski opened in Moscow. On the corner of each floor was a snack bar with just sausages and bread and a ferocious looking enormous hairy Russkie woman in jackboots (usually big boobs Capt, encased in about 10 layers of clothing) demanding to see your room key before you could pass. The rooms were very basic but OK for Russia. The Kempinski was excellent but very expensive of course.

[G-CPTN]

Not a hotel, but the first night of our first holiday (after the honeymoon) in a converted farm building in the Black Mountains of Wales (Bwlch to be precise).
Fabulous recently finished conversion brand new and 'fully fitted' self-catering and spotlessly clean - run by a very pleasant farming couple.
After the most amazing and very loud thunderstorm (with consecutive crashes and brilliant lightning) that got trapped in the valley for several hours, we retired to bed, only to be kept awake by the noises above our ceiling - rats were dragging somethings across, with thuds as whatever they were dragging fell after crossing the rafters - shhh bump, shhh bump, shhh bump - for what seemed all night.
The premises were truly top class but I wouldn't have wanted to stay a second night.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Now she was a 4-in hand job.

Isn't that the BSH Scale to use ... e.g. British Standard Handful ?

[bob2s]

Pubs in Outback Australia in the 1960-70 that I have given a big miss as far as staying the night are numerous .To name a few such as the Halls Creek pub,which I gave a miss after asking for a beer when I as about to check in, only to be asked if I woulld like it hot or cold. Said cold and by the way what is the difference,publican said hot is straight from the carton while cold was from underneath the wet hesian sack on the bar,hence did not bother with checking in. Another time was Driving towards Fitzroy Crossing when tiredness was starting to overtake me so decided to stop at Turkey Creek (now known as Warmun )which upon arrival was well lit up as it was on fire,this suprised me some what as it was built of corrugated iron and I'am still at aloss as how they got that much bloody corrugted iron to burn. I doubt if much has changed in the last 50 years.

[Slasher]

After a couple of beers I said to her " My friend ( the F/O ) would love a photograph of your tits, do you mind ?" indicating the camera I had with me . No, she replied, but it's a bit dark in here, let's go outside. Once outside she stood against the wall, and I posed the F/O alongside. " Don't you want to hold them then ?" she asked him, and scooped them both out of her loose top and placed them in his hands. Next time I saw him he thanked me for the photograph, but admitted that he hadn't shown them to his wife !

Jesus ExSp33d every time I did ANC it was with boring local SQ crew. I had to invent me own fun at the ABC. Did get lucky once with a slightly older Reeve Aleutian hostile at the F street bar, but that’s another story!

[Rwy in Sight]

After a couple of beers I said to her " My friend ( the F/O ) would love a photograph of your tits, do you mind ?" indicating the camera I had with me . No, she replied, but it's a bit dark in here, let's go outside. Once outside she stood against the wall, and I posed the F/O alongside. " Don't you want to hold them then ?" she asked him, and scooped them both out of her loose top and placed them in his hands. Next time I saw him he thanked me for the photograph, but admitted that he hadn't shown them to his wife !

Jesus ExSp33d every time I did ANC it was with boring local SQ crew. I had to invent me own fun at the ABC. Did get lucky once with a slightly older Reeve Aleutian hostile at the F street bar, but that’s another story!

Slasher, it seems your experience on lay overs are entertaining to say the least - a slap in Athens, a lucky break in Anchorage. When things calm down in your life maybe you should start a thread.

[Slasher]

Sex and flying stories RiS? Every pilot has those! I’d be spruking to the already been-there-dun-that crowd.

[Sisemen]

I doubt if much has changed in the last 50 years.

They managed to put the fire out. Understand they’ll be clearing away the rubble next week

[ExSp33db1rd]

......every time I did ANC it was with boring local SQ crew.

Yes, different era, early days with BA were much better. Once rented a C-172 to take 3 of the crew to go and look at the Portage Glacier from the air, the instructor told me to climb to 10,000 ft.after take off and fly to the top of the glacier and not fly down it, i.e. not to approach the face and fly up, as, he said, the glacier had a greater rate of climb then the Cessna. Good advice. Good fun too.

Hiring a car from our "usual" outfit one day, the dealer asked if I was interested in my driving another dealers car that had to get back to Juneau so that I could drive one of his own back that had been dropped off there ? I would have loved to have done it, but it was Winter and I didn't fancy the return journey across much of Alaska by myself, and nobody else would come with me. Perhaps as well.

Walking out of the Captain Cook hotel for breakfast one morning - 'cos one never ate in the hotel one was staying in, did one, much cheaper places around the corner - I was approached by a very attractive young women walking around the front of a parked car, who asked me if I had any change ? Thinking that she needed to change a dollar bill for for the parking meter I reached into my pocket and scooped out all my loose change, at which she scooped up the lot, said "Thanks, I've just arrived in town and need a coffee, and walked off." ! What was I supposed to do, run after her and have her cry "Rape" ? I only lost a couple dollars I guess.

I recall walking with a Captain one day when we were approached by a down and out, who asked the skipper if he had a quarter for a cup of coffee ( as it was in those days ! ) Yes, said the skipper, love one, where is it ?

[Pontius Navigator]

Then there was Nairobi. Went to this recommended might club, stockade all around, BIG hand shake when you went in.

[ExSp33db1rd]

........Went to this recommended night club

The Equator Club ???

[TheGreenGoblin]

There are many ghosts there in flying and the hotels story could run to 10 honest books I am sure. Most of them on the freight (but not frightened) or frit side I would be bound!

Best Western for me for some years...

Clean sheets! No fleas and nobody banging the girl against the wall above my head like happened in NY.

[Slasher]

and nobody banging the girl against the wall above my head like happened in NY.

Two occasions that happened with me - once in a hotel at the top of a hill in SEL and once at the Hilton Olympia Hotel London. The vinegar stroke was thwarted by hard fist pounding on the wall in Seoul, and well-timed room dialing in London.

The wall was a bit thicker at the Hilton so needed the glass trick in order to time the call correctly.

[TheGreenGoblin]

and nobody banging the girl against the wall above my head like happened in NY.

Two occasions that happened with me - once in a hotel at the top of a hill in SEL and once at the Hilton Olympia Hotel London. The vinegar stroke was thwarted by hard fist pounding on the wall in Seoul, and well-timed room dialing in London.

The wall was a bit thicker at the Hilton so needed the glass trick in order to time the call correctly.

Ain't it true man. Enough to make a man, who may have drunk too much, scoop up the tits of the girl in his bed, turn over and do it again...

[Pontius Navigator]

........Went to this recommended night club

The Equator Club ???

Could have been. Certainly affiliated with the Mile High Club. We were led astray, somehow, by a number of RAF SNCOs, all in splendid tropical mess undress. Don't remember where we got waylaid by them.

Not the first time led astray by SNCOs though the first time was our own and in Georgetown, Penang. The Aussies had helpfully put photographs of all the out of bounds hotels on a notice board at the guard room. One was obliged to read and memorise.

[1DC]

Checked into the Heathrow Hotel( now the Renaissance),late afternoon, probably mid nineties I think. Let myself into the room to find items of uniform scattered about and a naked lady astride a naked chap and going for their lives. Sorry this is supposed to be my room, says I. Well is isn't, says she. Neither of them broke rhythm and just ignored me so i left and acquired another room.The only thing i remember is that she had big tits..

[Rwy in Sight]

The only thing i remember is that she had big tits..

Not surprisingly!

[Slasher]

If I had’ve been the chap I would’ve charged you a fiver for watching me woman’s tits.

[ExSp33db1rd]

Recall a Flt/Eng telling how he had gone into his room still being serviced by one of the maids. He started unloading his pockets into his upturned uniform cap, as one did and, as he threw his wallet into the hat the maid started to undress.

End of story ( or at least as far as he told it )