Named principles, physical laws, constants etc. that should exist...

[llondel]

There's always Cole's Law - thinly sliced cabbage.

[Rwy in Sight]

Is it not easier to just ring it? Assuming said enquirer can remember the number..........(and hear when it rings)

Or a band is connected with a "find the device" function

[Alisoncc]

There's always Cole's Law - thinly sliced cabbage.

+1

[llondel]

O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law:

Murphy was an optimist

[Pontius Navigator]

O'Toole's commentary on Murphy's Law:

Murphy was an optimist

As Murphy was a well known Irish man and Irish men are stereotypically attributed to have a Paddy Factor, I think that is racist.

[Boac]

Time we had a proper look at Murphy's laws:

Murphy's First Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Murphy's Second Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Murphy's Third Law: Everything takes longer than you think it will.
Murphy's Fourth Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. (Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.)
Murphy's Fifth Law: If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will.
Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Murphy's Seventh Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy's Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's Tenth Law: Mother nature is a bitch.
Murphy's Eleventh Law: It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Murphy's Twelfth Law: Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Murphy's Thirteenth Law: Every solution breeds new problems.
Murphy's Fourteenth Law: If anything can't go wrong on its own, someone will make it go wrong.
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.

Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

Murphy's Time-Action Quandary: You never know how soon is too late.

O'Toole's Commentary On Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.

Finally:
Proof of Murphy's Law: Murphy's Law cannot be proven, yet is correct, as when you try to prove Murphy's Law, you will see that the proof is incorrect. This is obviously due to Murphy's Law, therefore Murphy's Law is correct and proven.

[Pontius Navigator]

If 4 screws must be removed it is the fourth that will not budge and the head will deform.

The final tweak will cause total collapse.

After reassembly one piece will remain.

If you discover you need a widget the store closes before you can get there.

Handovers finish on a Friday. Never change a combination lock on Friday afternoon.

[Alisoncc]

Pareto Analysis/Principle. Also known as the 80/20 rule. If developing software 80% of the development will take 80% of the allocated time. The remaining 20% of the development will take a further 80% of the time. Also applies to such things as launching a satelite. 80% of the available fuel will get it to 80% of the required altitude. The extra 20% of required altitude will require a further 80% fuel.

[TheGreenGoblin]

Peter's Principle which states that if you arrive at the pearly gates without a large paper envelope to slip to St Peter you will not get entry into the boring place, and will be sent to the basement bar where everybody is hot and the go-go girls even hotter!

Hell is like this...



The Peter Principle as any fule kno is the Peter Principle

[PHXPhlyer]

Those who can't, teach.
Those who can't teach administrate.

PP

[TheGreenGoblin]

Slashers Law: the probability of bagging a woman with large breasts is proportional to your attractiveness divided by the size of your wallet.

P ~ A/W

[Pontius Navigator]

The first time, and I think the last, where I saw a gogo dancer was in the US in 1964.

It was early afternoon I think and we were in this road house for the beer, honest. There was a somewhat skantily dressed female grinding away on this table but as the beer was more attractive and with only $15 per diem no interest from us, she stopped.

There was another girl there but not a regular dancer. She was encouraged to get up and dance on the table. We were riveted. She was wearing a check cowboy shirt, jeans, leather belt and boots. She was 100% pure sex.

The dancers that perform in not a lot miss a trick.

[Rwy in Sight]

Slashers Law: the probability of bagging a woman with large breasts is proportional to your attractiveness divided by the size of your wallet.

P ~ A/W

Also those who get the women with large breasts are those who don't care about the large breasts

[TheGreenGoblin]

Slashers Law: the probability of bagging a woman with large breasts is proportional to your attractiveness divided by the size of your wallet.

P ~ A/W

Also those who get the women with large breasts are those who don't care about the large breasts

You have just summed up Sod's Law...

[Pontius Navigator]

Oh I don't know. Once upon a time, in a bar in Thessalonika was a young lady. It was very definitely a 4 hand job.
As it was, she was a very good young lady but it would have been fun to find out.

[Hydromet]

The corollary to Murphy's 11th law is that if you make something foolproof, they will build a bigger fool.

[llondel]

There's the law of relativity:

A really amazing and attractive person of the appropriate sex[*] will have the most offensive and dire set of relatives imaginable.

[*] Updated to be all-inclusive, because I'm sure it applies just as well.

[Rwy in Sight]

Oh I don't know. Once upon a time, in a bar in Thessalonika was a young lady. It was very definitely a 4 hand job.
As it was, she was a very good young lady but it would have been fun to find out.

It is a city pretty renowned for such ladies

[ExSp33db1rd]

and whist we're on the subject - the bar / club in Baltimore where the resident, near naked, pole dancer wrapped her breasts in some sort of fabric that she then set fire to - I kid you not - and offered "Barbecued Booboos "

Flying with one of the more "superior" North Atlantic Barons well renowned for his lack of conversation with lesser mortals, like his crew, and having been in a holding pattern over Baltimore for nearly an hour, as happened en route to IDL ( JFK now ) with almost no conversation, I finally said " I think I can see the ??? ( name ? ) club down there " He then said " I wonder if Miss XX is still barbecuing her Booboos ? " I replied " You bastard, you've been there too ! " He allowed a thin smile to cross his lips and replied " Oh yes, I've been there ".

[TheGreenGoblin]

and whist we're on the subject - the bar / club in Baltimore where the resident, near naked, pole dancer wrapped her breasts in some sort of fabric that she then set fire to - I kid you not - and offered "Barbecued Booboos "

Flying with one of the more "superior" North Atlantic Barons well renowned for his lack of conversation with lesser mortals, like his crew, and having been in a holding pattern over Baltimore for nearly an hour, as happened en route to IDL ( JFK now ) with almost no conversation, I finally said " I think I can see the ??? ( name ? ) club down there " He then said " I wonder if Miss XX is still barbecuing her Booboos ? " I replied " You bastard, you've been there too ! " He allowed a thin smile to cross his lips and replied " Oh yes, I've been there ".

An example of the Anthropic Conjecture - The sudden realisation that the bastard sitting opposite you, may actually may be human after all!