Irritating phrases, Americanisms and other mangling of English as she is spoken...

[TheGreenGoblin]

One that set my teeth grinding while reading the news this morning was "so and so on his cancer journey!"

Cancer is not a journey, nor is it a life affirming experience or any of the other New Age claptrap that is spouted by smug idiots. It is a disease you ninnies and a right pain in the arse, particularly if you have prostate cancer, as the unfortunate gentleman being referred to in that article has.

To all the detritus of useless New Age jargon and *****, you can add mindfulness, holistic, quantum, grounded, universal, vibrations, wellness and super, as in super food. Any food is super if you are starving you morons!

I could go on but my chakras are all now akimbo and I need a cup of herbal tea!

[Pontius Navigator]

TGG, and you don't fight it or battle it. You do as you're told and behave positively.

[Mrs Ex-Ascot]

The one phrase that gets me is so and so is in a coma fighting for his/her life. They are lying there unconscious and therefore are not doing anything let alone 'fighting' anything.

The other one that infuriates me is life changing injuries. What's wrong with horribly and permanently injured?

Then there is life support machine ie a ventilator.

I'd better stop before I suffer a life changing cerebral aneurysm

[Rossian]

And that's before we even start on Australianisms! Who thought that "arvo" was afternoon? Where did that come from? Why does every second word have to abbreviated? Is it laziness or just a sloppy way of speech? My tin hat is ready and also my S10 respirator.
Where is the tongue in cheek emoji?

The Ancient Mariner

[Opsboi]

And that's before we even start on Australianisms! Who thought that "arvo" was afternoon? Where did that come from? Why does every second word have to abbreviated? Is it laziness or just a sloppy way of speech? My tin hat is ready and also my S10 respirator.
Where is the tongue in cheek emoji?

The Ancient Mariner

I'm hoping every sentence there ended on an upward inflection?

[Rossian]

Of course it did.

The Ancient Mariner

[Opsboi]

Of course it did.

The Ancient Mariner

A friend who emigrated a few years back was surprised to be told that her husband Paul "this arvo had to be rushed to the hozzie in an ambo, but no worries, he's jakes"

[Pontius Navigator]

I think we can mangle our own language as well. Gizit, both noun and verb. Cronk as in go for a. Then gofer

[bob2s]

Now, now you lot ,may I remind you of the Cockney mob whom talk in rhymes and the other lot to the north whom you lot have trouble
understanding just like we do .

Signed Cobber,Digger,Bluey.

[Opsboi]

Now, now you lot ,may I remind you of the Cockney mob from what we are descended, vagabonds and ne'er-do-wells whom talk in rhymes and the other lot to the north whom you lot have trouble
understanding just like what we do, which is why we're known as shackle-draggers

Signed Cobber,Digger,Bluey.

Fixed for likely better accuracy

[bob2s]

Now, now you lot ,may I remind you of the Cockney mob from what we are descended, vagabonds and ne'er-do-wells whom talk in rhymes and the other lot to the north whom you lot have trouble
understanding just like what we do, which is why we're known as shackle-draggers

Signed Cobber,Digger,Bluey.

Fixed for likely better accuracy

It would appear that shackle draggers is fast becoming a thing of the past given the the import of persons of differing race,seems that the place is becoming enclaves of people speaking different languages,so much so that Aussie language (abbreviated words) is starting to die out.Just like England we are starting to lose our heritage bit by bit.

[ricardian]

And that's before we even start on Australianisms! Who thought that "arvo" was afternoon? Where did that come from? Why does every second word have to abbreviated? Is it laziness or just a sloppy way of speech? My tin hat is ready and also my S10 respirator.
Where is the tongue in cheek emoji?

The Ancient Mariner

Given the preponderance of flies in Australia, maybe opening the mouth to speak was kept as brief as possible hence the abbreviations

[Opsboi]

Now, now you lot ,may I remind you of the Cockney mob from what we are descended, vagabonds and ne'er-do-wells whom talk in rhymes and the other lot to the north whom you lot have trouble
understanding just like what we do, which is why we're known as shackle-draggers

Signed Cobber,Digger,Bluey.

Fixed for likely better accuracy

It would appear that shackle draggers is fast becoming a thing of the past

Not in Blighty, I assure you

[Opsboi]

"Bits and pieces of rain" in a weather forecast

I may have mentioned this before, but it still grates

[Pinky the pilot]

I'm hoping every sentence there ended on an upward inflection?

Im my parts of the Country, that particular extremely annoying characteristic appears to be confined to people of the Feminine gender. Not all of 'em, thankfully!

Unlike that which I observed when living in Darwin NT back in the late 70's, where it seemed a Territorian characteristic to stick the expression 'Ay' at the end of every spoken sentence.
Once again though, thankfully not everyone used it.

[TheGreenGoblin]

I'm hoping every sentence there ended on an upward inflection?

Im my parts of the Country, that particular extremely annoying characteristic appears to be confined to people of the Feminine gender. Not all of 'em, thankfully!

I made the huge mistake of assuming that the upward inflection amongst some of the Australian females of the species, implied uncertainty or, even agreement with my opinions, with an Australian girlfriend I had here in the UK many years ago. I soon realised my Category A error. Australian women are no less certain of their opinions, or their contempt for mine, than women of any other nationality! She abandoned me on the floor at some party made up of disconsolate Kiwis, Aussies and a few Saffers, one dark cold UK winter's night after we had quaffed some awful Australian whisky (I kid you not, Australian whisky) and whereas she had become very amorous, I just wanted to chuck up, not being a fan of whisky, let alone Australian whisky, so she left in the arms of some drunken bloke from an Australian town with 'gaga' in the name. I count myself as having had a lucky escape!

[Pinky the pilot]

some awful Australian whisky

Would not be surprised if it was 'Gilt Edge.' Thankfully no longer available.
Would have made a good paint stripper!

[Pontius Navigator]

The new trade deal mentioned cheaper whiskey and wine. Stupid me, I thought wine from Australia and Whiskey from....
Did I get that wrong?

[Pontius Navigator]

Shortened from the Telegraph today :
News Bulletin
Share
‘Prob-ly’ among the garbled words we ‘pacifically’ dislike
“Specifically” and “probably” top the list of the most irritating mispronounced words
“pacifically”, used instead of “specifically”
“expresso” instead of espresso.
“specially” instead of “especially”
“art-ick” rather than “arctic”

[4mastacker]

Now, now you lot ,may I remind you of the Cockney mob whom talk in rhymes and the other lot to the north whom you lot have trouble
understanding just like we do .

Signed Cobber,Digger,Bluey.

Oi!! If you're referring to the citizens of the North East of England, I'll have you know sir, that the late King George VI, during a visit to Tyneside, said that the Geordies spoke the King's English. He didn't say which king or of which country though.

I have no trouble understanding the dialect, neither I suspect does G-C, although I do admit to not being fully conversant in Pitmatic.