Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

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TheGreenGoblin
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Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#1 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:27 am

Sitting here lost in a whimsical reverie enjoying 'The Isle of Vaila' coffee table book, sent to me by the owner of the extraordinary house on that beautiful, wind swept island, complete with old Buddhist temple tower after my anonymous order via Amazon arrived today. The owner, Richard Rowland, probably wouldn't remember me, but I remember him, and his mercurial, younger, artist, Polish wife, Dorota, very well indeed, after a weekend flight to Tingwall and thence by rubber boat to the island of Vaila itself many years ago. What was meant to be a weekend, spent with a party of eccentrics, drunken pilots, a judge and a black magician with blue contact lenses, for a celebratory Cèilidh, upon the arrival of the owner's wife's new Cessna, turned into a week long stay after the aircraft I had hired was damaged by a powerful summer storm back there in 1998. I am delighted to see that owners are still on the island, happy, if a lot older now, as we all are I guess. It was a very memorable week, spent with some very interesting people and left a lasting impression on me.

I must admit that I fell in love with Shetland generally, as bleak, barren, cold, windswept, and dark as it is in winter, and while I have never gone back to Vaila, I have flown to Shetland some 6 times now, according to my log and still think that if I am given the grace of a happy retirement, I could very well spend it up there, but the practical, unromantic, unbefuddled clarity of my better half cuts though such reveries and notions like a hot knife through butter. "Completely impractical and silly" is her summation of my dream and her piercing look and implacable blue eyes will brook no argument. "Well what about Scotland?" to which she gives a thoroughly English and dubious "Scotland? No!"

What do ops-normalisers think? Is she right?




I am not really into wool but that was a very interesting video!
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#2 Post by Magnus » Tue Jun 22, 2021 11:06 am

My granddad Magnus was from Shetland, and I spent most of my childhood holidays there. I loved it. Stunning scenery, even in winter, great history/archaeology, and great fishing until them damn yankees found most of the prime trout spots. I'll visit there again, but I'd hesitate before making a permanent move.

Have you seen the Potez 840 doing service as a garden shed at North Roe?

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#3 Post by CharlieOneSix » Tue Jun 22, 2021 11:18 am

I've lost count of the number of times I've been to Shetland - first time was in 1974, last in 1999. Sometimes just a nightstop, sometimes for two weeks at a time. Always work related either in Sumburgh or Unst. In the 70's/80's if you wanted a command with one of the offshore helicopter companies then normally you had to do your initial time based in Shetland - not sure how I managed to avoid that. No, I couldn't live there - for me too many disadvantages ranging from the logistics of getting to anywhere on mainland UK to the short winter days, horizontal rain and raging wind. There were so many cars up there with 'Shetland Door' where the wind grabbed the door from the hands of a car's occupant and put a crease in it as it was forced into the front wing.

There were some advantages - the place has amazing history and archaeology, friendly locals, great community spirit, some sunny days but rarely above 12°C, glorious beaches on those sunny days and long walks...but not enough to tempt me. I think ricardian is the man to give you good advice on the pros and cons of island life in the north.
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#4 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Wed Jul 07, 2021 3:59 pm

Have any of the cognoscenti here landed at Glendoe? I noticed the airfield near Fort Augustus two Saturdays ago, but was not apt to try and land there, given the weight of the two well proportioned gentlemen, and the weight of fuel onboard, but am tempted to go land there later this summer. What summer you might ask? Are there any gotcha's that folks here might known of, a little local knowledge being a very valuable thing? The strip is 600 metres long on grass. I have landed (and more importantly taken off) at Plockton which is 597 metres, but that's on good flat tarmac. The green grass of Glendoe looked a little too lush and possibly wet mush.

All this yearning prompted by the arrival of 'The Story of Loganair' today.
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#5 Post by Undried Plum » Wed Jul 07, 2021 4:28 pm

What a lovely film!

I have a particularly strong affinity with Shetland, about which I shall bore people here muchly another day.

I loved the phrase she used: "Perfectly flawed knits".

Perfectly flawed.

I want that expression engraved on my tombstone.

An Iranian carpet salesman, in Iran, successfully used a similar sales slogan when selling me a fukkn Yuge rug for a then large sum of money. In the lengthy, and actually very enjoyable, price haggling session(s) over lunch and tea and supper and breakfast the following day, he explained of the imperfections in Arabic though a native speaker of Farsi himself: "Only Allah is perfect. To pretend to be Him would be a Sin."

I bought the rug. I've still got it and I still love the way the 'silk' tries to ruffle up between my toes in appreciation for my appreciation of it.

Almost every time I fukk something up, other when hitting my thumb with a hammer, I mutter the Arabic words for "Only Allah is perfect".

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#6 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Wed Jul 07, 2021 4:46 pm

Undried Plum wrote:
Wed Jul 07, 2021 4:28 pm
What a lovely film!

I have a particularly strong affinity with Shetland, about which I shall bore people here muchly another day.

I loved the phrase she used: "Perfectly flawed knits".

Perfectly flawed.

I want that expression engraved on my tombstone.

An Iranian carpet salesman, in Iran, successfully used a similar sales slogan when selling me a fukkn Yuge rug for a then large sum of money. In the lengthy, and actually very enjoyable, price haggling session(s) over lunch and tea and supper and breakfast the following day, he explained of the imperfections: Only Allah is perfect. To pretend to be Him would be a Sin.

I bought the rug. I've still got it and I still love the way the 'silk' tries to ruffle up between my toes in appreciation for my appreciation of it.

Almost every time I fukk something up, other when hitting my thumb with a hammer, I mutter the Arabic words for "Only Allah is perfect".

I enjoyed the film and somehow missed the "perfectly "flawed figure" of speech (difficult to do as it is in the title of the video). I like the idea, as it is perfectly formed and perfect in its imperfection.

A good friend of mine, took to carpet buying (and other adventurous activities) in Armenia and should write about his experiences, some of them a little too fraught for my taste. He now lives in his deceased parents grand Victorian mansion in in Tamboerskloof, midst an abundance of rugs and art (a lot of it his deceased folks work) as he waits for the barbarians at the gates (actually they probably arrived when he let Woody and me into his house some two years ago now)...

Alexander Podlashuc

Marianne Podlashuc

Talking of rugs, the big house in Vaila had multiple themed rooms, and me and my girlfriend were shunted off to the one with a polar bearskin rug in it, head and all, which infuriated my girlfriend who was a staunch animal rights advocate and vegetarian and, me because I was constantly tripping over the polar bear's head!

The antique telescope made all the stubbed toes worthwhile though. =))
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#7 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Wed Jul 07, 2021 6:06 pm

Da ask is tick at da back o Vaila,
As da cowld, sweet braeth o da Sooth wind blaas,
Whaar da rigs is lyin, gold an shaila,
An da paet-reek driftin by ower Waas;
Whin da green paeck comes, an you hear da kilya
Among da fleein cloods o maas.

As up an doon da gaet A’m gyaain,
Wi da owld byre-borrow back an fore,
I feel da Sooth wind saftly blaain,
An da cock craas lood at da barn door.
Nae time laek da time wi da green paeck shaain
An da smell o da eart ida first o da Voar!
https://www.shetlanddialect.org.uk/asse ... wadder.mp3
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#8 Post by FD2 » Wed Jul 07, 2021 11:56 pm

A little local music to accompany the howling winter gales! Willie Hunter and a very young Aly Bain.

Some exiles loved it, others were just happy to regain the lush countryside of Aberdeenshire and some were lost without their local English pub life in crowded southern towns.

A friend once spent the night with his family under the dining table as the wind gusted to over 100 knots around his modern bungalow at Sumburgh. He didn't dare to go outside! Ground speeds were sometimes a little frustrating, heading into the westerly gales, but like the West Coast, Sutherland, Orkney and other places north of Inverness the occasional sunny day transformed the view like a magic wand had been waved.



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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#9 Post by FD2 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:02 am

An earlier visit to Sumburgh and what the wind did to one of our rotor blades overnight, photos courtesy of local Shetlander, ex-RN and Coastguard SAR pilot Norman Leask who worked in BAH ops prior to the Navy.


XV711 1.png

XV711 2.png

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#10 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:28 am

Cheapskate sod!

I remember when a BAH SK61, circa '76?, actually taxyied in to the Sumburgh hangar, under power, with a full load of pax from Thistle (including Moi) 'cos the the "steady" windspeed was in excess of 65Kts and so could not shut down rotors outside.

I was one of those ever so slightly frightened pax.

The two-man crew did not need to buy any beers in the Sumburgh Hotel and so drank a lot more than was wise.

Shitfaced. All of us.

The next morning: we pax were poured into a DanDare 748 for ABZ, and the puir sods of the 61 had to report for duty and pull some pitch as a punishment for what they had saved the same 'frame from an early death to do to earn its living and onwards.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#11 Post by FD2 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 3:30 am

I remember that, maybe a year or two later. Gingered the passengers up a bit and led to endless amusement at the expense of the pilots. In their defence the parking slots by the hangars were really too tight for comfort.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#12 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Jul 08, 2021 5:23 am

FD2 wrote:
Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:02 am
An earlier visit to Sumburgh and what the wind did to one of our rotor blades overnight...
This South African, I hesitate to call myself a Capetonian, given their sleepy demeanour, the fact that I was born in Pretoria and out of respect for ops-normal's Capetonian, thought he understood strong winds, given the mighty North Westers that blow into the Cape, spinning in from the cold South Atlantic, or even the black South Easters in summer, but the Shetland summer storm that kept him pinned on Vaila for two days due to the sea state having been unsuitable for the short boat trip to the mainland, with news that G-OOGA the Cougar had been damaged at Tingwall, was somewhat of a new experience in how strong the wind can get.

When I finally got to Tingwall it appeared that the wind had managed to move the aircraft, which had been tied down, into wind, with two big weighted bollards with aileron locks in place. The gale moved the aircraft, and the movement of the ailerons pulled the whole front instrument and avionics panel away from its mounts bending the aileron locks and sundry connecting rods as well. The damage was fixed by an Nigerian aircraft engineer who was based at TIngwall, as black as his immaculate white overalls were white, but he was not certified to sign the work off on a Grumman aircraft, so I had to fly an engineer in from Biggin Hill, who overnighted with us on Vaila, and where he was treated to the hospitality of the hosts and returned home with a tale of a day in the office like no other.

G-OOGA sits forlornly, as she is today, written off after she overran on take off in Essex (I was not the pilot I hasten to add)...

G-OOGA the Cougar.JPG
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#13 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Jul 08, 2021 6:42 am

I remember, also circa 1976 or so. Also from Thistle or thereabouts. As pax.

Sitting on Stbd side, adjacent to the sponson.

YUGE lighting strike on said sponson. Almost all lamps lit on the master caution panel. Being a non-pilot on that occasion, I was most concerned about the ones which had not lit and why.

He, the unseen bloke in the right-hand seat, chose to put us down on the beach just short of Unst. Peaty place. Good choice, i thought, despite the fact that we didn't in those days wear drybags, or even bicycle clips, to let our emotions run down.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#14 Post by ricardian » Thu Jul 08, 2021 7:21 am

CharlieOneSix wrote:
Tue Jun 22, 2021 11:18 am
I've lost count of the number of times I've been to Shetland - first time was in 1974, last in 1999. Sometimes just a nightstop, sometimes for two weeks at a time. Always work related either in Sumburgh or Unst. In the 70's/80's if you wanted a command with one of the offshore helicopter companies then normally you had to do your initial time based in Shetland - not sure how I managed to avoid that. No, I couldn't live there - for me too many disadvantages ranging from the logistics of getting to anywhere on mainland UK to the short winter days, horizontal rain and raging wind. There were so many cars up there with 'Shetland Door' where the wind grabbed the door from the hands of a car's occupant and put a crease in it as it was forced into the front wing.
There were some advantages - the place has amazing history and archaeology, friendly locals, great community spirit, some sunny days but rarely above 12°C, glorious beaches on those sunny days and long walks...but not enough to tempt me. I think ricardian is the man to give you good advice on the pros and cons of island life in the north.
Orkney and Shetland have much in common although Orcadians are best described as farmers who fish while Shetlanders are fishermen who farm. I recognise the term "Shetland Door" and have suffered from its southern equivalent "Orkney Door". The following ditty was aimed at Orcadians but applies equally well mutatis mutandis to Shetlanders:
"You are an Orcadian if...."
* You park your car facing into the wind to prevent door damage when you get out.
* You take it as a personal insult if you have to show a card when writing a cheque.
* You refuse to acknowledge the existence of a Shetland version of Strip the Willow.
* Ferry journeys should be spent reading a book or sitting on a comfy seat rather than freezing outside.
* You understand that 'cla thee hole' can be an affectionate tribute to your wit.
* 'Reed cans' contain McEwan's Export.
* Scotland is not the mainland.
* You understand the merit of choosing your words carefully, then not saying them just to be on the safe side.
* You know there is no difference between a 'ruckle o stones' and 'archaeological evidence of ritual practice'.
* You eat Kettle Chips because the way they hurt your gums reminds you of Orkney Crisps.
* You find trees fascinating and stare at them in amazement.
* You feel faintly uncomfortable when there are no kye in ear-shot.
* 30 second pauses in the midst of a conversation are normal.
* You can hold a conversation for well over an hour consisting only of the words and phrases: "aye", "u-uh", "weel", "beuy", "this is it", "grand day fir it", and 30 second pauses.
* Whisky is Grouse or HP.
* You know exactly what "3rd cousin, once removed, on my mother's side" means, and exactly to whom it refers.
*You are reduced to an incoherent spitting rage by gaelic language TV.
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#15 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Thu Jul 08, 2021 7:45 am

ricardian wrote:
Thu Jul 08, 2021 7:21 am
I've lost count of the number of times I've been to Shetland - first time was in 1974, last in 1999. Sometimes just a nightstop, sometimes for two weeks at a time. Always work related either in Sumburgh or Unst. In the 70's/80's if you wanted a command with one of the offshore helicopter companies then normally you had to do your initial time based in Shetland - not sure how I managed to avoid that. No, I couldn't live there - for me too many disadvantages ranging from the logistics of getting to anywhere on mainland UK to the short winter days, horizontal rain and raging wind. There were so many cars up there with 'Shetland Door' where the wind grabbed the door from the hands of a car's occupant and put a crease in it as it was forced into the front wing.
There were some advantages - the place has amazing history and archaeology, friendly locals, great community spirit, some sunny days but rarely above 12°C, glorious beaches on those sunny days and long walks...but not enough to tempt me. I think ricardian is the man to give you good advice on the pros and cons of island life in the north.
Orkney and Shetland have much in common although Orcadians are best described as farmers who fish while Shetlanders are fishermen who farm. I recognise the term "Shetland Door" and have suffered from its southern equivalent "Orkney Door". The following ditty was aimed at Orcadians but applies equally well mutatis mutandis to Shetlanders:
"You are an Orcadian if...."
* You park your car facing into the wind to prevent door damage when you get out.
* You take it as a personal insult if you have to show a card when writing a cheque.
* You refuse to acknowledge the existence of a Shetland version of Strip the Willow.
* Ferry journeys should be spent reading a book or sitting on a comfy seat rather than freezing outside.
* You understand that 'cla thee hole' can be an affectionate tribute to your wit.
* 'Reed cans' contain McEwan's Export.
* Scotland is not the mainland.
* You understand the merit of choosing your words carefully, then not saying them just to be on the safe side.
* You know there is no difference between a 'ruckle o stones' and 'archaeological evidence of ritual practice'.
* You eat Kettle Chips because the way they hurt your gums reminds you of Orkney Crisps.
* You find trees fascinating and stare at them in amazement.
* You feel faintly uncomfortable when there are no kye in ear-shot.
* 30 second pauses in the midst of a conversation are normal.
* You can hold a conversation for well over an hour consisting only of the words and phrases: "aye", "u-uh", "weel", "beuy", "this is it", "grand day fir it", and 30 second pauses.
* Whisky is Grouse or HP.
* You know exactly what "3rd cousin, once removed, on my mother's side" means, and exactly to whom it refers.
*You are reduced to an incoherent spitting rage by gaelic language TV.
Kye! Cows? :-?

No mention of Arctic terns in that list? Foul feathered squawking head bombers that they are! =))
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#16 Post by CharlieOneSix » Thu Jul 08, 2021 8:53 am

Sumburgh, December 1974. Ferranti Helicopters had their ATL7 licence and decided to see what the Northern North Sea offered. I was sent up to Shetland with my little five seat Bo105 and BAH offered me hangarage. BAH's John Keepe was kind enough to let me have the jump seat on a S61 trip to the East Shetland Basin and back so I could familiarise myself with ESB procedures etc., so much more practical than just reading up on them.

A few days later we got our first ad hoc job. It was dark by the time I got back to Sumburgh, plus it was of course raining and blowing a hooly. This was 5 years before the new Terminal was built. The old Terminal had white painted lines outside on the tarmac which designated the box of the Customs area and within which helicopters from offshore were required to park. Try as I might, with the gusting tailwind I could not safely hover taxi the skid fitted Bo105 into a space between the many parked S61's and so I landed just outside the designated area. Jeez, you would have thought that was a capital offence the way Customs reacted! Procedures and parking areas soon changed as the exploration boom and helicopter flights expanded.

UP will remember the old Terminal. At times it was packed with offshore passengers waiting for their fixed wing flight back to Aberdeen....and I do mean packed. Shoulder to shoulder, it was almost impossible to move around. Shetlanders must have wondered what had hit them in those early days of the offshore exploration and production boom. The activity now at the airport is just a shadow of what it used to be.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#17 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Jul 08, 2021 2:09 pm

CharlieOneSix wrote:
Thu Jul 08, 2021 8:53 am
UP will remember the old Terminal.
Yup, UP does remember it. Just a two or three joined-up little shacks with wee wooden ramps between them. Bolt's car hire booth was the size of a phone box.

I also remember that the Customs guys were absolute cuntz. Some guys brought a bewildered woodpecker back from a rig North of Shetland in a cardboard box. Customs insisted that the bird must fly across the white line that C16 mentions, so the guys had to use a middle finger up the arse of the puir wee thing to get it to leave its box and hop across the line.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#18 Post by Magnus » Fri Jul 09, 2021 4:08 pm

FD2 wrote:
Wed Jul 07, 2021 11:56 pm
A little local music to accompany the howling winter gales! Willie Hunter and a very young Aly Bain.

Some exiles loved it, others were just happy to regain the lush countryside of Aberdeenshire and some were lost without their local English pub life in crowded southern towns.

A friend once spent the night with his family under the dining table as the wind gusted to over 100 knots around his modern bungalow at Sumburgh. He didn't dare to go outside! Ground speeds were sometimes a little frustrating, heading into the westerly gales, but like the West Coast, Sutherland, Orkney and other places north of Inverness the occasional sunny day transformed the view like a magic wand had been waved.


Was doing a bit of recording with a Shetland country singer and, when we were finished, Gordon suggested a pint or several in a wee hotel in Lerwick. Lots of folk were there, and he and I ended up in an impromptu session with, among others, a young chap called Aly Bain. Peerie Willie also featured. I used to see Willie in the long-gone Excelsior Lounge in Lerwick. Happy days.

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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#19 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Fri Jul 16, 2021 9:27 pm

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You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
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Re: Shetland, Vaila and other whimsical ponderings

#20 Post by CharlieOneSix » Fri Jul 16, 2021 10:25 pm

In the mid 70's we had a contract with a Dutch Finance Minister who owned half of Coll. We used to pick up him and his wife and sometimes their dogs from an inbound private aircraft at GLA and fly them to his property on Coll. Normally we stayed a few days in their house before taking them back to GLA and they treated the pilots like one of the family. I remember one evening I took the Minister on a short flight down the Coll coast and we landed on the beach to visit a couple of ancient brothers who lived in a run down croft with a grass covered roof on the edge of the beach. Altogether an interesting experience! There was never a shortage of volunteers to fly the family.
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