The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V

[Ex-Ascot]

My dear chap, of course not. And, as you know, you do not go into remote areas with a single vehicle.

[ricardian]

Morning all.
Haven’t read in so ignorant of any problems but I hope you are all well.
Happy meeting with the surgeon this morning - we discovered we share today as our birthday. Billy is in fine fettle. All that is needed now is a contrast ultrasound to make sure pee is going where it should do and not leaking internally. If that box gets ticked then I can go home.
15 days I’ve done in here and it only seems like 15 years.

Good news! Congratulations from 59N

[ricardian]

Have got jigsaw fever. Hubs has been doing them for a few years. Got my hands on one as I was looking for something to do and have become addicted. I put on my music, have a glass of wine, and I lose all track of time (although, that might be the wine )

Online jigsaws!

[ian16th]

Afternoon folks. Very frustrating town visit. Every bloody place seemed to have a problem with their till or computer.

Hope you get sorted out HF.

Perhaps all you having booster jabs should think about the third world who haven't got enough of the vaccine to even have their first jab. It is these pharmaceutical companies who are recommending boosters just to make money.

The safari camp up river have been asked to do a rescue mission to:

The Central Kalahari game Reserve (CKGR) it is the largest, most remotely situated reserve in Southern Africa, and the second largest wildlife reserve in the world, encompassing 52 800 sq kms.

A vehicle has broken down. They are not even exactly certain where they are. It will be a miracle if they find them. The idiot guide whom we know has no GPS or Sat phone. It is jolly hot out there.

If they have no comms, how is it known that they are in trouble?

Are they simply overdue?

[Pontius Navigator]

Unlike C16 we had our flu jabs Saturday and they asked if we had had the Covid jab within 7 days. Definitely not one hymn sheet.

[PHXPhlyer]

PN:
Had second dose of the Pfizer elixer in late March.Walked-in to my grocery store pharmacy yesterday to be told appointments required as of two weeks ago when the Pfizer booster (only brand authorized for booster at this time) was approved.
Went home and did online registration, lots of questions; would have taken too much time to do it there.
Could have gotten a slot for yesterday evening at a different store approx. same distance (2 miles) but opted for one this afternoon.

PP

[PHXPhlyer]

Afternoon folks. Very frustrating town visit. Every bloody place seemed to have a problem with their till or computer.

Hope you get sorted out HF.

Perhaps all you having booster jabs should think about the third world who haven't got enough of the vaccine to even have their first jab. It is these pharmaceutical companies who are recommending boosters just to make money.

The safari camp up river have been asked to do a rescue mission to:

The Central Kalahari game Reserve (CKGR) it is the largest, most remotely situated reserve in Southern Africa, and the second largest wildlife reserve in the world, encompassing 52 800 sq kms.

A vehicle has broken down. They are not even exactly certain where they are. It will be a miracle if they find them. The idiot guide whom we know has no GPS or Sat phone. It is jolly hot out there.

How did they make notification that they were broken down?

PP

[ian16th]

Afternoon folks. Very frustrating town visit. Every bloody place seemed to have a problem with their till or computer.

Hope you get sorted out HF.

Perhaps all you having booster jabs should think about the third world who haven't got enough of the vaccine to even have their first jab. It is these pharmaceutical companies who are recommending boosters just to make money.

The safari camp up river have been asked to do a rescue mission to:

The Central Kalahari game Reserve (CKGR) it is the largest, most remotely situated reserve in Southern Africa, and the second largest wildlife reserve in the world, encompassing 52 800 sq kms.

A vehicle has broken down. They are not even exactly certain where they are. It will be a miracle if they find them. The idiot guide whom we know has no GPS or Sat phone. It is jolly hot out there.

How did they make notification that they were broken down?

PP

See my #1324

[Alisoncc]

My dear chap, of course not. And, as you know, you do not go into remote areas with a single vehicle.

Holds out hand for a slap. Brits could go anywhere and do anything. So there. I have it on best authority "We wouldn't have been missed anyway".

[Karearea]

Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Ibbie, many more happy years to you.

Thousands of online jigsaw puzzles here, varying topics, numbers and styles of pieces:

https://thejigsawpuzzles.com/

[Woody]

Congratulations to the IBBIES, hope that you’re ok for the Friday announcement HF, Trabbforce to anyone else who requires it.

I’ve been stuck in a classroom for 4 days learning how to be a baggage handler again, bored off the scale

[OFSO]

Wow. 49 years! Congratulations to the Ibbies. Most impressive.

[Smeagol]

Let me also add my congrats to the Ibbies. Mrs S and I are mere beginners as we will only be celebrating 47 years in December.

And to add a really useless piece of personal trivia, we can prove that we married each other on two separate days! When we married we were emigrating to South Africa and needed several copies of our marriage certificate to send to different agencies simultaneously in order to speed the process. So having actually married on 28th December, we set out to get copies on 31st December. This was in the days of hand written copies and the copyist got slightly confused writing things out several times as two copies correctly state, "Date of Marriage, 28th December. Date of copy, 31st December." a third copy states "Date of Marriage, 31st December. Date of copy, 31st December."

I said it was useless trivia!

[PHXPhlyer]

Let me also add my congrats to the Ibbies. Mrs S and I are mere beginners as we will only be celebrating 47 years in December.

And to add a really useless piece of personal trivia, we can prove that we married each other on two separate days! When we married we were emigrating to South Africa and needed several copies of our marriage certificate to send to different agencies simultaneously in order to speed the process. So having actually married on 28th December, we set out to get copies on 31st December. This was in the days of hand written copies and the copyist got slightly confused writing things out several times as two copies correctly state, "Date of Marriage, 28th December. Date of copy, 31st December." a third copy states "Date of Marriage, 31st December. Date of copy, 31st December."

I said it was useless trivia!

Not too late to get out of it.
Grounds: Clerical error.

PP

[jimtherev]

With a tiny bit of thread drift, I genuinely lived in two parts of London while at the Elephant and Castle. Front door in SE1; back door in SE17.
But it doesn't end there. Front door was on the A201 - two lanes in each direction, so no parking there. So to the council for a parking permit for back door.
"Address?"
"1 Deacon Way"
"Doesn't exist."
"Oh yes it does. Here's me driving license and here's me bank statement if you want up-to-date proof."
"Doesn't exist. Not on our list of houses. And there isn't a house on Deacon Way. It's all flats!"
"Except one. It is part of a church building."
"You didn't tell me that. Anyway, it doesn't exist. But what are you here for, anyway?"
"Parking permit"
"Oh. Well, you obviously exist. How can I give you a permit? Let's invent an address for you. I've got about four flats that are in the database but were never built. How would you like to live in 299 Ashenden?"
"Yes, if it gets me a parking permit."
"That's all right then. That would normally be £300 a year. But because you don't exist, I can't charge you for it. Don't tell anyone, or they will all want one."

When I got back to the church, I asked my secretary how we paid our council tax. "Oh," she said "We spent hours a few years back trying to pay it. But the problem is, we don't exist..."

So there *is* an advantage in not existing. Saved me about £5,000 in ten years. And free parking, another £3000.

By the way, neither Deacon Way nor Ashenden exist any more. Knocked down to build a slum.

[OFSO]

Excellent story. I'm sure there are other cases.

Trabforce to HF today, hope you pass the Final Test and are sent home...

[Ibbie]

By the powers granted to me by HF, I declare that today is FRIDAY.

[handsfree]

Well done Ibbie

Still here in my hospital bed. The report from Radiology didn’t make it to my surgeon in time yesterday to get my handcuffs removed.

Hand a very pleasant night, not woken once by the nurses, and gently brought back into this world with a cup of tea brought by a lovely young lady.

I do suspect that I may even get home today.

Enjoy your weekend everybody. I shall. 17 days without a snifter will hopefully end with a glass of malt in front of the fire tonight.

[G-CPTN]

Fingers, arms and eyes crossed.

[Ex-Ascot]

Morning folks from a war zone. Big storm last night. One large tree down which just missed the library, the old TV satellite mast down pulling branches across the solar panels fortunately not damaged, branches and twigs all over the place, fences damaged. genny running. Can't get hold of Mr Fixit.

Answer to how the missing tourists called for help is a passing vehicle with a sat phone. Wonder what nationality, forgot to ask.

HF hope that the results are good and you get some pop today. When Mrs Ex-Ascot was in hospital in Oxford there was a wine list. I had a large cognac on her tab when she was under the knife.

Edit, Mr Fixit on his way.