The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V

[TheGreenGoblin]

What's this "safety of their keyboards" bit? I post from the safety of my phone, whilst alongside me the 'machine that goes ping' goes "PING".

You will only be judged to be in danger if the machine suddenly starts going "koppikta kappokita!"

[TheGreenGoblin]

I have a ghost writer.

Don't tell people that unless it is panned for purple prose upon its release! Take the credit if it is praised and blame the ghost writer if it is panned!

[TheGreenGoblin]

What's this "safety of their keyboards" bit? I post from the safety of my phone, whilst alongside me the 'machine that goes ping' goes "PING".

You will only be judged to be in danger if the machine suddenly starts going "koppikta kappokita!"

With apologies to James Thurber for the spelling of that sound!

In the operating room there were whispered introductions: “Dr. Remington, Dr. Mitty. Dr. Pritchard-Mitford, Dr. Mitty.” “I’ve read your book on streptothricosis,” said Pritchard-Mitford, shaking hands. “A brilliant performance, sir.” “Thank you,” said Walter Mitty. “Didn’t know you were in the States, Mitty,” grumbled Remington. “Coals to Newcastle, bringing Mitford and me up here for a tertiary.” “You are very kind,” said Mitty. A huge, complicated machine, connected to the operating table, with many tubes and wires, began at this moment to go pocketa-pocketa-pocketa. “The new anaesthetizer is giving way!” shouted an interne. “There is no one in the East who knows how to fix it!” “Quiet, man!” said Mitty, in a low, cool voice. He sprang to the machine, which was now going pocketa-pocketa-queep-pocketa-queep. He began fingering delicately a row of glistening dials. “Give me a fountain pen!” he snapped. Someone handed him a fountain pen. He pulled a faulty piston out of the machine and inserted the pen in its place. “That will hold for ten minutes,” he said. “Get on with the operation.” A nurse hurried over and whispered to Renshaw, and Mitty saw the man turn pale. “Coreopsis has set in,” said Renshaw nervously. “If you would take over, Mitty?” Mitty looked at him and at the craven figure of Benbow, who drank, and at the grave, uncertain faces of the two great specialists. “If you wish,” he said. They slipped a white gown on him; he adjusted a mask and drew on thin gloves; nurses handed him shining . . .

[Pontius Navigator]

As pointless;
Yesterday evening, pleasantly balmy and still 17 degrees, sun yet to set but already obscured by cloud. I agreed to go dog following.
At a fairly fast pace on her 5 inch legs, I followed her to West end and a descent to the fields. A few dozen grazing rabbits the other side of a dog proof fence fled but she sniffed the air and led the way down the track at the bottom on the small valley. Two fields in I put her on the lead and dissuaded her from entering the wheat. Had she got a scent who knows when she would return. After a mile or so we set off back along the higher track on the nature trail. 3/4 miles from home we sat on a bench just surveying the land below.
Eventually we set off the track passing through tall Ash trees, rooks settling for the night, the calls and crashes more like a jungle than an English wood. We then came to the rabbit warren with the light near gone so that was another delay.
Finally, back at westend she seemed content to return home rather than repeat the walk. At the far end of the lane a solitary figure, back-lit by a street light and carrying a torch. She recognised the figure and I guessed it was Mrs PN on a search mission.

Quite what would have happened if she had taken a different route.

[TheGreenGoblin]

As pointless;
Yesterday evening, pleasantly balmy and still 17 degrees, sun yet to set but already obscured by cloud. I agreed to go dog following.
At a fairly fast pace on her 5 inch legs, I followed her to West end and a descent to the fields. A few dozen grazing rabbits the other side of a dog proof fence fled but she sniffed the air and led the way down the track at the bottom on the small valley. Two fields in I put her on the lead and dissuaded her from entering the wheat. Had she got a scent who knows when she would return. After a mile or so we set off back along the higher track on the nature trail. 3/4 miles from home we sat on a bench just surveying the land below.
Eventually we set off the track passing through tall Ash trees, rooks settling for the night, the calls and crashes more like a jungle than an English wood. We then came to the rabbit warren with the light near gone so that was another delay.
Finally, back at westend she seemed content to return home rather than repeat the walk. At the far end of the lane a solitary figure, back-lit by a street light and carrying a torch. She recognised the figure and I guessed it was Mrs PN on a search mission.

Quite what would have happened if she had taken a different route.

Is that the beginning of your new book PN entitled 'The Enigmatic Navigator -The life and times of Pontius Navigator."

PS- No pilots were killed or lost in the making of this wonderful narrative!

[Boac]

Crikey! Has he finally managed to switch off the spell-crasher?

[Pontius Navigator]

TGG, seriously I did submit an outline to a magazine that began not unlike your opus above. It was in the third person but actually my own experience :

"He woke suddenly. It was dark and cold in the hut. What had woken him? The sirens repeated their mournful wail. He dressed quickly donning his No 2 Battle Dress and went directly to Ops a hundred yards away...... "

They had been quite happy to publish my previous article but wanted this to be less dramatic.

"An alert was signalled through out the station by air raid sirens. Everyone would rush directly to their places of work, aircrew to operations and recall of off base personnel would begin..."

I wasn't prepared to compromise. The book will probably be published in 2023.

[TheGreenGoblin]

TGG, seriously I did submit an outline to a magazine that began not unlike your opus above. It was in the third person but actually my own experience :

"He woke suddenly. It was dark and cold in the hut. What had woken him? The sirens repeated their mournful wail. He dressed quickly donning his No 2 Battle Dress and went directly to Ops a hundred yards away...... "

They had been quite happy to publish my previous article but wanted this to be less dramatic.

"An alert was signalled through out the station by air raid sirens. Everyone would rush directly to their places of work, aircrew to operations and recall of off base personnel would begin..."

I wasn't prepared to compromise. The book will probably be published in 2023.

Your "he awoke suddenly..." is far more arresting, gripping and immediate... ignore the naysayers...

[Ibbie]

Morning folks.

Just back from a walk with Ed in the campo. Lovely and cool there. It's 25c and sunny wth a few clouds about. Not humid thank goodness.

[ricardian]

Sorting out old photographs stored in a spare disk drive I came across this snap of my first vehicle. I wish that I had one now - no tax to pay, easy to maintain and no over-complex electrics/electronics.

[OFSO]

An Austin methinks. My first was a Standard Eight.

[tango15]

Thunderstorms over GRN - there goes another sleepless night of nightmares. Thanks a bunch..............

Thunderstorms over GRN

Good title for your autobiography Boac.

"The night was sultry and my first officer was a pallid youth from Croydon whose pale gormless features were intermittently lit up by the bolts of lightning arcing between the canyons of towering cumulo nimbus ahead of us. The air was rent by a sickly white green light that emanated from the maelstrom of vapour, whose anvils overshot us by some 30,000 feet, huge towers that rose high into the stratosphere! Looking at the situation that was unfolding, I felt, not for the first time, that I would rather be in my bed in Blighty, sipping my cocoa and jesting with the sundry lunatics that nightly posted from the safety of their keyboards on an aviation forum called Ops-Normal... etc. etc. "

Excellent stuff, GG.

[Boac]

To correct the temporal error

on an aviation forum called PPrune.

[Pontius Navigator]

TGG, fine fellow that he is, has probably forgotten the ex-spurts there.

[handsfree]

Greeting to you all.
Mainly cloudy again today but the odd bit of sun spotted from time to time.
Coolish and a top temp of only 18°C prophesied. Maybe as well, as 2 tons of kiln dried
ash is due to be dumped soon and will then need stacking in the wood store.

Autumn is definitely creeping in here. Apples have been given away by the carrier bag full to
any willing recipients. Apple and blackberry crumble is on the menu of the local pub as a result.
I even had to rake up quite an amount of leaves this morning so that indicates which way we're going.

The front hedge needs a trim and the back lawn a mow and that will be enough for one day.

[Boac]

PN - do we assume you have managed to sort out your tablet?

[1DC]

My first was a Vauxhall Velox..
Lousy day on the Humber, cloudy drizzle and about 15C. Hope all you people to the West are having a better day

[EA01]

Wednesday Morning Sunrise...

[EA01]

Atop 'Elephant Rock'....

[EA01]

Surfers Paradise / Broadbeach / Mermaid Beach from atop Elephant Rock at Currumbin