More Political Correctness run amok

[Undried Plum]

Jeffrey

[Capetonian]

Father is 'killed instantly' when he is shot in his £80,000 Porsche in front of stunned children while picking up his son from Belfast school

The victim is believed to have been picking up their child from a nearby school

No, you tossers, HIS child, not the idiotic gender indeterminate 'their' child.

[OFSO]

How's this for utter ***** ? Had lunch with the local French president of a world-wide charity today. Each year they invite all the poor families in all local villages to send their children to a slap-up do, get Christmas presents, speedboat rides and so on (and we contribute quite a lot).

We asked today how this year was going. Our friend looked sad. Due to the new data protection laws the mayors are now not allowed to produce lists of needy families. The charity is trying to spread news of the invites by word of mouth but it's proving difficult.

Was this what data protection was designed for ?

[Groundgripper]

The rocket chap?

Not 'The Rocket' chap, that was Stephenson.

No, 'rockets' not 'Rocket': Sir William Congreve was the designer of the rockets that were used by the British forces during the American War of independence and the attack on Fort McHenry as mentioned in the american national anthem The Star Spangled Banner in the phrase 'by the light of the rockets' red glare'. Actually he developed them from those used by the rulers of Mysore against the British in India.

GG

[ian16th]

Yes, I read about them in the 'Sharpe' novels.

But originating on Teesside, our history lessons concentrated on the steam engine Stephenson's.
Jut like the geography lessons were all Capt. Jimmy Cook. Born in Marton, schooled at Great Ayton, worked in a grocers shop at Staithes and went to sea from Whitby.

Killed in Hawaii, when still called the Sandwich Islands.

[Hydromet]

Capt. Jimmy Cook. Born in Marton, schooled at Great Ayton

...and gave the name Ayton to a spot on the Bloomfield River, while he was stuck on the Endeavour River doing some make & mend. I inherited the name as my middle name - I think it's where I was conceived - and eventually became a hydrographer, though not half as good a one as our patron saint, James Cook.

[ian16th]

Capt. Jimmy Cook. Born in Marton, schooled at Great Ayton

...and gave the name Ayton to a spot on the Bloomfield River, while he was stuck on the Endeavour River doing some make & mend. I inherited the name as my middle name - I think it's where I was conceived - and eventually became a hydrographer, though not half as good a one as our patron saint, James Cook.

Never mind, even Inspector Morse was named Endeavour.

If you ever get to the original village of Great Ayton, have a Pork Pie!

Though I must admit the last one I had from there was made by the master himself.

[Capetonian]

Pork Pies only originate from one place. Anything else is a vile impostor, not worthy of the name pork pie. I shall be there later this month and will be consuming proof of my statement.

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[Hydromet]

Ayton in Qld is known now for just one thing - the Lions Den Hotel.

[Pontius Navigator]

Today's paper has some graphs:

White Men, White Women, Men of Colour, Women of Colour.

Men who are white is a bit clumsy, but what is wrong with Coloured Men etc?

[G-CPTN]

Why is it that some people of mixed race are classified as black? - even though they may be equally non-black . . .

[Pontius Navigator]

In ethnicity we are often offered Irish - not black Irish or coloured Irish but plain Irish. I think we should have Ginger Men.

[OFSO]

Donleavy would have approved. He wrote the book...

[ian16th]

Pork Pies only originate from one place. Anything else is a vile impostor, not worthy of the name pork pie. I shall be there later this month and will be consuming proof of my statement.

I know that this one is good, and the pub next door, we stayed there last trip to UK.

Theakstone's Bitter.

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[Slasher]

...to a spot on the Bloomfield River,...I think it's where I was conceived...

So mate um...on that spot by the river was where Mr and Mrs Met done the deed and 9 months later baby Hydro was born?

[Hydromet]

Pretty much, I think. They went there soon after they married, Dad was a miner there.

[Capetonian]

I'm wondering when the place name Blackie Boy in Durham will be changed.

[llondel]

There was a call some years ago in Bristol to change the names of Whiteladies Road and Blackboy Hill.

[Capetonian]

Since “Baby it’s Cold Outside” has been deleted from playlists because someone was offended, maybe these Holiday songs should also be on the chopping block?

1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: Subjecting minors to soft-core porn.

2. The Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriation.
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advances.
4. White Christmas? Racist.
5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalker.
6. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depression.
7. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Bullying.
8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and Ben.
9. Santa Baby: Gold digger, blackmail.
10. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist; not a snow woman.
11. Do You Hear What I Hear? Blatant disregard for the hearing impaired.
12. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Make the yuletide GAY? Wow, just wow.
13. Jingle Bell Rock: Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet: Animal abuse.
14. Mistletoe and Holly: Overeating, folks stealing a kiss or two. How did this song ever see the light of day?
15. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown demanding they get married…forced partnership.
16. I'll Be Home For Christmas: Not if you are homeless. That's just Insensitive.
17. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer: Homicide. Extremely violent and promotes alcoholism.”

How did our generation ever survive?

[Stoneboat]

I wonder what the reaction of the wowsers would be if they found out Amazing Grace was written by a slaver Captain.