Stupid Is As Stupid Does

[Hydromet]

A grandfather who was officiating a wedding in Nebraska is facing charges after accidentally shooting his 12-year-old grandson during the ceremony, officials said.

Michael Gardner, 62, was officiating the festivities at Hillcrest Events in Denton around 5 p.m. on Saturday when he attempted to shoot a Pietta Model 1860 Snub Nose revolver loaded with a blank into the air to gain the attention of the wedding guests, according to Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office Chief Deputy Ben Houchin.

So it wasn't a shotgun wedding, then?

[1DC]

Long long ago, when we had our village policeman! He parked up in the lay bye on the main road outside the village just before 0200 to complete his paperwork before he finished his shift. He wasn't interested in the car parked up in front of him. Shortly afterwards the drivers door flew open a chap fell out and dragged himself up and staggered down to the police car and banged on the drivers door.
Our policeman wound the window down and the chap said said.'OK, its a fair cop,I'm pissed!'

[G-CPTN]

And then the cop had 'more paperwork' that had to be completed.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

So it wasn't a shotgun wedding, then?

Nah.
I'm pretty sure you have to be 13 to get married in Nebraska.

Probably less in Tennessee.

[OFSO]

Where did Jerry Lee get married?

[PHXPhlyer]

Where did Jerry Lee get married?

Looked it up.
Living in Memphis, Tennessee.
Married in Mississippi.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myra_Lewis_Williams

PP

[G-CPTN]

It seems that Ms Williams was a smart cookie.

[PHXPhlyer]

Get your tickets now. I'm sure they will be going fast.

First ever Florida Man games to feature beer belly wrestling and ‘evading arrest’ course
The games will poke fun at the state's reputation for producing strange news stories involving guns, drugs, booze and reptiles — or some combination of the four.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fl ... rcna122277

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla.— It ain’t the Olympics, but a group of Floridians plan to host competitions themed according to the collective antics of the beer-loving, gator-possessing, rap-sheet heavy, mullet-wearing social media phenomenon known as “Florida Man.”

Organizers of the “Florida Man Games” describe the competition as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth.” The games will poke fun at Florida’s reputation for producing strange news stories involving guns, drugs, booze and reptiles — or some combination of the four.

Among the contests planned for next February in St. Augustine, Florida, according to organizers, are the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course in which contestants jump over fences and through yards while being chased by real police officers; the Category 5 Cash Grab in which participants try to grab as much money in a wind-blowing booth; and the self-explanatory beer-belly wrestling.

“This isn’t just a competition; it’s a one-of-a-kind Floridian spectacle!” organizers said on the games’ website.

The “Florida Man” concept crept into the nation’s consciousness a decade ago with the @_FloridaMan Twitter account. The account, with the tagline “Real-life stories of the world’s worst superhero,” has been home to headlines such as “Florida Man Fire Bombs Garage That Impounded His Car, Hits His Own Vehicle” and “Florida Man Tried to Pay for McDonald’s With Weed.”

General admission tickets to the event are going for $45. Two former stars of the 1990s television show “American Gladiators” have agreed to serve as referees.

A St. Augustine resident is behind the games: Pete Melfi, owner of The 904 Now, a media outlet covering St. Johns County.

“We thought, ‘How can we really play on these Florida Man headlines that we hear so much about?’ Someone gave me the idea to make it into an athletic competition,” Melfi told the Orlando Sentinel. “It’s going to be a wild day of mud games and Florida-style obstacle courses. It’s going to really be an opportunity to live that Florida Man life for a day.”

PP

[tango15]

Can we expect a full report from Limeygal?

[PHXPhlyer]

I'm sure that she will be there to hold the beer.
As in: "Hold my beer and watch this".

PP

[llondel]

Sounds a bit like the "falling down the cop shop stairs" event, where the chap was denied a world record because no one saw it happen.

[Hydromet]

Sounds a bit like the "falling down the cop shop stairs" event, where the chap was denied a world record because no one saw it happen.

Now that made me laugh!

[Woody]

A man has been found guilty of causing intentional harassment, alarm or distress after scaring female motorists while dressed in a gimp suit.
Joshua Hunt, 32, of Claverham, was seen by one woman writhing around on the ground, while another said she was left shaking and crying after an encounter.
Bristol Magistrates' Court heard the incidents took place on 7 and 9 May in Bleadon, Somerset.
Hunt, a self-employed gardener, had denied the allegations.
He was fined £100 and ordered to pay £200 compensation to each of his victims and £620 prosecution costs.
Hunt was arrested minutes after the second incident, and is said to have told police: "I am not a gimp - I do not own a gimp suit. I am not in a gimp suit."

Probably not the best answers to the Police questions

[PHXPhlyer]

gimp suit:

That is a new term for me.
I guess if I frequented some of OHL's haunts I might be familiar with the term.

PP

[Woody]

You did ask

[PHXPhlyer]

Yes.
I did use the Google Machine_TM to determine that it had something to do with one of OHL's favorite places.

PP

[ricardian]

From the pages of "The Orcadian" for Thu 2 Nov, 2023:

"A man who denies stealing a number of items including a till and the lid of a chest freezer, from a hotel in the town is to go to trial."

Furthermore:

"xxx of Chaos, Stromness, is accused of stealing a smart till device, two payment terminals, an internet modem, an internet router, eight knives, a coffee pot, a chest freezer lid and a mountain bike from the Stromness Hotel on May 7."

Could be a disgruntled employee?

[Karearea]

^ Eclectic 'shopping' list!

[Hydromet]

Is there really a place called Chaos? I think I've been living there all my life.

[tango15]

I reckon he was about to start up a pizza-baking and delivery business, and these were a few extra bits he needed