It seems my very young nephew has noticed all the hideous TV adverts for presents (think disgusting perfumes, hawked by odd looking models preening to absurd music) comestibles (mostly chocolates, and improbably opulent meals without turkey as they all have the flu), glittery baubles and sundry other nonsense and felt moved to channel his inner Molesworth (not the old RAF station) in this note to Father Kimpits...
a I want for Cristmas
1st of deseBer
dear Santa can your elvs get Scadey Cat for me and can you fill up my Stoking up with cockLate and Swetts and a BackPack
Star Wars Lego
A Zipters Boat
StarWas at st waaylker
razor crest micofiter
u..t(?) mistrey figer.
a rock getare
I wonder what the chief elf in charge of fulfillment at the depot near the north pole will make of that then?
Bah humbug!
My necessaries are embark'd: farewell. Adieu! I have too grieved a heart to take a tedious leave.
