Ops-Normal.org

In one of my jobs we used to spend a couple of nights each month away from home, and stayed at a small country hotel. We were paid a fixed per diem, more than adequate. The publican used to insist on giving us a receipt for more than the tariff, "because that's what all the others want." I think he was referring to public servants, as they were paid actual expenses (up to a certain limit) plus a small incidental allowance.

I was accustomed to accompany my business visitors for lunch at a nearby pub (standard practice).
One week, my visitor was accompanied by his manager.
When it came to paying the bill for the lunch, the manager insisted 'his treat' but he wasn't impressed when Dave (the pub landlord) offered the usual inflated receipt.

Some years back I was responsible, as project manager, for an IT system delivery for an American bank that entailed me putting a team onsite in New York for 6 months. In addition to food, transport and accommodation allowances, we made a small cash allowance for R&R (rest and recreation) intended to be used for a beer or a trip to the theatre or whatever reasonable and legal pleasure that might take the contractor's fancy. More recherché pleasure costs would not be signed, off, and would need to be paid for by the contractor (I had been burned in this way by having to put up bail for a contractor after a riotous weekend, that included fracas in a strip bar in Miami, but that's another story).

Anyway, from my perch in London, I would audit and reconcile these costs against the project plan's cost breakdown on a weekly basis. All went well but I noticed one team member, a thrifty New Zealand technician, with a Scottish surname, originally a country boy from a farm over there, seemed not be spending anything but the basic hotel allowance and was building up a significant credit. I e-mailed him to point out that he was not using the allowance he was entitled to. Anyway, come the end of the project he handed back the cash R&R allowance in toto He had not spent a penny and when I asked what he had done in the evenings there, he said he simply stayed in his room and read. His evening meals had been frugal in the extreme, and I suspect he was living on bananas at lunch time, so Calvinistic was he in his tastes. In the end I said, I shouldn't do this but credited his salary with the full unspent R&R allowance. It was easier than dealing with the huge accounting effort and bureaucracy involved in giving it back to the bank. Andrew Stenhouse (that was his name) went back to sheep faming not long after that!

When I moved job to a new employer, I enquired what my 'allowance' would be (my previous employer had frugal limits unless in the company of a member of senior management, when limits changed to 'actuals'.
I was told (by my new employer) that there were no 'limits' - and to treat it as if it were my own money that I was spending.
Other employees stocked up with cigarettes and booze as soon as they arrived at the airport (I didn't partake in either).
When away from home over weekends, the company covered 'recreational activities' (such as theatre) if desired.
On one trip to meet customers in Singapore (when I was based in Hong Kong) I failed to secure a seat for the trip. I discovered that seats were available in First Class (my issued ticket was non-transferable) so I 'bit the bullet' and travelled FC (whilst my Asian colleague travelled cattle class).
On return to my 'home base' in Denmark I submitted my expenses and they were approved as 'necessary' and paid without query.

TheGreenAnger wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 12:21 pm

I shouldn't do this but credited his salary with the full unspent R&R allowance. It was easier than dealing with the huge accounting effort and bureaucracy involved in giving it back to the bank. Andrew Stenhouse (that was his name) went back to sheep faming not long after that!

Sheep faming, not as bad as sheep farming, or even defaming, does not make use of green wellies.

Many moons ago, a colleague was off on a demo tour to the States. They had only got as far as Reykjavik (in the days when you could take a proper aircraft there), when the engineer had a suspected heart attack. He was taken off to a hospital in the capital and the following day the rest of the team left for Narsassuaq, for the next refuelling stop. The bowser filled up the aircraft, at which point it was discovered that the engineer, still in Reykjavik, had the fuel carnets. The captain, who was also the chief test pilot, paid for the fuel with his Amex card both there and at Gander, the next refuelling stop. When he reached Washington, he called back to the office and explained what had happened. A new carnet was issued through the US office and the journey continued. When he arrived home, there was a gold American Express card waiting for him!
In a similar vein, we were running short of water-methanol during a demo tour in Colombia. As one of the Spanish speakers, I was designated to source some. I eventually found some in another city about 150 miles away and appropriate transport arrangements were made to collect it, which involved yours truly doing the trip in a Trislander that belonged to the agent. The water meth was duly collected and a proper receipt obtained. It was submitted with the rest of my expenses on return to the UK, but resulted in a summons to the accounts office.
"I can see that this is a genuine receipt," said the head honcho, but what the hell is it for?
"Water Methanol," says I.
"What's that?" says he. I explained the function of water-methanol in a turbine engine, at which point I could see his eyes glazing over. Being a beancounter, he had to have the last word, of course. "Can you please translate receipts like this in future?"

Must have been a 748, 40 gallons a side if I recall.

A special design feature was the ease with which one could lose the dipstick in the tank, done it a couple of times.

In my early days OHMS I would find myself on an all night bus to some green-patch airfield to do the 0600 synoptic, put up the flag and all the other sundry duties of a relieving 'aerodrome superintendent' before warming up the radios and bringing the aeradio station to life.

All mundane stuff and maybe quite trivial to some but we took the job seriously and found ways to augment the meagre salary. For example the official manual ruled that relieving staff could claim miniscule vehicle running costs to drive to the relieving location plus running costs each day. The alternative was to go there by bus and use daily taxis.

Aerodromes by their nature were usually some miles out of town so naturally driving our old cars and fake taxi receipts were common practice.

talmacapt wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 4:57 pm

Must have been a 748, 40 gallons a side if I recall.

A special design feature was the ease with which one could lose the dipstick in the tank, done it a couple of times.

The firemen at Faleolo must have been able to get at it as they had a party with serious consequences.

John Hill wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 5:17 pm

talmacapt wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 4:57 pm

Must have been a 748, 40 gallons a side if I recall.

A special design feature was the ease with which one could lose the dipstick in the tank, done it a couple of times.

The firemen at Faleolo must have been able to get at it as they had a party with serious consequences.

Correct on both counts, talmacapt. I heard about the dipsticks, and lots of 748s flew for many years with one (or more!) of them rattling around in the tanks.

I cannot imagine why anyone would want to drink that stuff. Surely Samoa isn't dry? I imagine there are few of them alive now to tell the tale...

tango15 wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 6:31 pm

I cannot imagine why anyone would want to drink that stuff. Surely Samoa isn't dry? I imagine there are few of them alive now to tell the tale...

I do not have much experience of Samoa but I know that in that era 60's-70's a system of 'points' was used to moderate alcohol consumption in many Pacific islands, as explained here (Samoa, but other places in Richard ('King Dick') Seddon's Empire** had a similar system.):-

So the Chief Medical Officer issued medical permits as a matter of course to all the
European population, authorizing them to purchase from the Government, which took
over the business from the Administrator, a specified quantity of beer and spirits
every month. The quantity specified in the permit had little to do with the health of
the permit-holder; his social position was the determining factor . . . Each permit
entitles the holder to a stated number of monthly “points”, ranging from 24 in the
case of a young unmarried person to 108 in that of a person on the top rung of the
social ladder. A bottle of beer takes one point, a bottle of spirits twelve (Marsack
1961:164-5).

I expect an airport fireman would have a very modest points allocation.

My quota at Niue was sufficient for a bottle of spirits every day! Obviously most of my points elapsed at the end of each month.

Shipping was interrupted on one of the islands to such an extent that a point was reached that there was no more alcohol for sale, the local trader (an Australian company) did a roaring trade in methylated spirits, so much so that the use of primus cookers and Tilley lamps became a problem.


**https://nzhistory.govt.nz/war/capture-o ... background

tango15 wrote: ↑

Tue Dec 06, 2022 4:43 pm

.......?
"Water Methanol," says I.
"What's that?" says he. I explained the function of water-methanol in a turbine engine, ........

Fred rift>>>>

Brize Norton held water methanol in former BFI tanks for use by the Belfasts. We had a brand new OC POL fresh out of Cranwell who had an obsession with doing water detection tests when he carried out his weekly dip checks of the fuel tanks. This obsession extended to the AL28 tanks whereupon the test paste changed colour and the brand new OC POL exploded with rage that there was water present in the fuel. He wouldn't listen to the JNCO ic dip team and insisted on more water detection paste being applied to the tank's dip stick until the whole length of the stick was covered in the paste. He was on the point of having a heart attack when the JNCO said to him "If you would f******* listen SIR, let me explain. This is the AL28 tank." "Of course it is, it's marked up as such" he sez. The JNCO then said "It's also known as Water Methanol, it's meant to contain water, that's why we don't use water detection paste on this tank". He never did make it much further in his career and must have been the most senior Flight Lieutenant in the Supply Branch when I next seen him 25 years later.

Fred rift 'off'

4mastacker; Re Fred rift; The mind boggles as to how the clown actually made F/L in the first place!

Pinky the pilot wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 07, 2022 4:07 am

4mastacker; Re Fred rift; The mind boggles as to how the clown actually made F/L in the first place!

Time promotion to Flt Lt for ordinary mortals. Doctors and dentists etc just keep getting promoted regardless.

I am purposely keeping very quiet on this thread. Most know who I am and I do not want to lose my pension.

I will say however that any profits were split equally between the crew. On a tour I used to spend at least an hour a day on creative accountancy. With many different currencies involved it was complex but provided opportunities for extra gains.

My Danish employer allowed us to establish a foreign currency account for 'overseas' trips.
It was standard practice to 'adjust' credit and repayments according to currency movements.

It's always bugged me that banks worldwide make a profit from rigging their currency exchange to their advantage, and then ......... add a "handling fee" for the pleasure of exchanging your money.

I use CurrencyFair.com, a flat €3 fee per transaction and you decide when you want to transfer and at what rate.

k3k3 wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 07, 2022 11:00 pm

I use CurrencyFair.com, a flat €3 fee per transaction and you decide when you want to transfer and at what rate.

+1

Pinky the pilot wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 07, 2022 4:07 am

4mastacker; Re Fred rift; The mind boggles as to how the clown actually made F/L in the first place!

We did wonder how he ever got beyond O/Cdt.

Ex-Ascot wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 07, 2022 9:33 am

............ On a tour I used to spend at least an hour a day on creative accountancy. ..........

Part and parcel of the Stackers' trade. Many an inventory holder was grateful for that expertise. Mind you, any inventory holder who pissed off the stacker who maintained the inventory records would find that skill lacking when it came to handover time if kit was 'deficient' - as a certain RA (not Royal Artillery) SNCO discovered to the tune of £24k - the bill was raised... along with many eyebrows up the Command chain.

Not exactly fiddling expenses but about 50 years ago we used to spend a week away with a Bell 47 and at the end of that time we drove home and another crew took over. Our meagre mileage allowance was supplemented with some of the daily Avgas 100/130 water samples which found their way into the tank of my car. Before departing for home I called in at the local garage and diluted the fuel with 2* petrol - the attendant couldn't work out why I was putting that into my twin carb sporty Vauxhall VX4/90! Funny how when I had the head off the engine to do a decoke some many months later all the valves were green......

Decoke...those were the days!