Limerick Thread

[probes]

OK, the wing's on the bird.
Or at least so I have heard
From the poets round here
Who really should care
'bout wings and birds - they're no nerds.

[OFSO]

The year is passing so fast
The fates have their die and it's cast
By this time next year
Will we still all be here ?
Or gone up in a nuclear blast......

(The lunchtime wine has left me maudlin)

[Smeagol]

An elderly pervert from Nice
Who was long past wanting a piece
Would toss off his dogs, his goats and his hogs
'til his parrot called in the police


Bit rude that one!

[OFSO]

The gendarmerie arrived with a bang
And examined his oft-exposed wang
His dogs and his goats
And a couple of stoats
And the hog with a sharp crooked fang.

[Pinky the pilot]

Another one in a somewhat' lower' tone;

There was a a young Man from Ghent
Whose tool was so long that it bent.
To save him the trouble, he put it in double
And instead of coming, he went!

[probes]

Male ways are mysterious oft
For fear ... of being soft
They don't understand
That their glorious band
Could use a comforting loft.*

* the last line provided by ChatGPT

[OFSO]

A New Zealand lady who crossed London Bridge
Was accosted by a stranger called Reg
He tried to molest her
But failed to wrest her
As her knickers she'd kept in the fridge.

(To be read with the correct accent, please)

[llondel]

There was an old woman from Slough
Who developed a terrible cough.
So she drank half a pint
Of warm honey and mint
But sadly she didn't pull through.

(English is a strange language)

[OFSO]

A young lady with a prosthetic knee
Just happened to be married to me
The surgical bill
Just happened to fill
Me with the opposite of glee !

[probes]

Poor husband of prosthetic lady*
Felt the burden, heavy and weighty.
With bills piled high,
He let out a sigh,
Financial woes driving him crazy!

*the first line is mine, the rest ChatGPT